Trapped in School
by treekicker
Summary: Updation with Chapter 13! :D Finally. Will our heros survive?
1. Default Chapter

Suzu: Welcome to a strange yet supposed to be funny fic! Here's the deal; the ten characters, yes Yuan included, are transported to our world, unfortunately they have no idea what the hell is going on. You can probably guess the rest. Their punishment? To be locked in school for three days! The problem? There's a murderer with an axe in there! Other than running from the axe murderer, they face strange and, well, strangely funny problems to solve!

Jet: How interesting.

Suzu: Disclaimer, disclaimer, let's see...Zelos!

Zelos: Yes, my hunny?

Suzu: Call me that again and I kill you.

Zelos: Um, sure hun-...er, authoress.

Suzu: (Sighs) Just do the disclaimer.

Zelos: (Points to the siblings) They don't own ToS or Namco or anything else connected to it.

Jet: Point blank.

Suzu: Before we begin, this will be an AU (alternate universe), in a twisted verison of Earth. And mean twisted. I hope there is no offense to anyone, like cops, I like cops I really do, I have lots of respect for them. These cops are fake and morons. Also, there are some spoilers! I recommend that you finish the game to be safe, as this takes place after beating Mithos. If you made it to the second disk I think you'll be alright, so unless you are fine with spoilers, don't say I didn't warn you.

Zelos: ON WITH THE FIC!

"Everyone!" Shouted Kratos, standing outside in Sybak near the inn. "Get the hell out here!"

Following the angel's orders, the other nine slowly walked out of the inn, rubbing their sleepy eyes and scratching their heads.

Lloyd yawned. "D-dad, you know it's seven in the morning."

"We are leaving. Get your Reiards and let's go."He turned on his heel and walked outside of Sybak. The rest shuffled along.

"You're quite pushy today," Yuan said. Genis face faulted.

"What are you doing here!" The half-elf demanded. Yuan shrugged.

"Dunno. What is Kratos doing here, he's supposed to be at Derris-Kharlan. Besides, at the end of your adventure, nobody even bothered to tell or show where I was, I just sort of dropped out of the story." He frowned and scratched his cheek.

"Where are we going, anyway?" Zelos mumbled, still fighting off the sleepiness threatening to take him over.

"Chosen," Kratos said, glancing back at Zelos. "Just shut up."

"Hah! So you don't know!"

"What I _do_ know is that I'm going to kill you-"

_I have an idea!_

"It's the authoress," Lloyd pointed out.

_No crap! Alright, listen, because I rule over this fanfic, meheheheh, you are all coming to our world, and me and my brother can see how you survive!_

Genis scowled. "To watch us squirm?"

_Hey! Shut up! Anyway, do you see that bright light north of you?_

"Hard to miss," Yuan muttered, staring at the bright white light. Hah! I ryhmed! Bright white light, bright white light, bright white light-

_Good. Walk to it. _

"Can we trust you?"

_No. But you should do it anyway._

Regal sighed, and said, "That doesn't make sense."

_Just go to the light! Now! Before bad stuff happens way to early in the fic!_

Taking the warning, the group scurried towards the light and stepped inside. At first, nothing happened. They stood in silence for a bit...

Okay, for a half an hour...an hour...hour and a half...

"It's way to early for this!" Yuan yelled skyward. "Just transport us there already!"

_What? Oh, right, forgot, I was supposed to transport you to the new world. _

"You forgot! You can't just forget that!"

_Oops._

"Oops! That's all you've got to say!"

The light interrupted the argument, lifting the group off their feet. They swam in midair, surprised with the floating. With a flash the party disappeared and there was silence. Ahhh, silence...

Um, anyway, back to the party. A bright light, again, shines above a grassy field. Suddenly Yuan falls from it, landing with an "oof" on his stomach. The light next spits out Raine, who lands on Yuan's back, followed by the rest of the party, landing sickening on Yuan's back. Genis, of course, lands on top.

"Ugh," Yuan groaned. "Can't...breathe..."

Genis walked off the party, leaving them to try and untangle themselves. Lloyd was pushed out by his dad and Zelos, landing on his back. Yuan wasn't moving anymore until the other two angels managed to escape, and he began to breathe again without the weight-

"We're not that heavy!" Yelled Zelos to the sky.

_Well, 4 ½ guys are pretty heavy..._

"A half?"

_Genis, duh. No offense._

"Gee, thanks," the half-elf muttered.

Anyway, the rest of them get off Yuan. Kratos and Presea pulled the poor angel to his feet.

"Suzu, I hate you," he whispered, glowering daggers at everyone.

_I can hear you fine. Welcome to a world like ours, only a bit more crazy and...um...wrong. _

"Now what?" Lloyd demanded.

_Uhhhh...go explore or something. Go get into mischief. Trouble. Go wreck stuff!_

"Okay!" The boy ran along a road into a town, which just happened to be there.

"Perfect," Raine said, arms crossed. "Who knows what kind of trouble he can get into..."

"I can guess." Genis received a smack on the head. "Ow!"

"Maybe we should go chase him," Sheena said. "We should split up and come back here in an hour. Let's split in half, Kratos, Yuan, Zelos, and Regal go one way. Me, Raine, Presea, Genis, and Colette go another. We'll split in the city."

"Who died and made you in charge?" Zelos snorted, sitting on the ground.

"Shut up, you idiot chosen, or you'll be the one to die!" Sheena kicked Zelos in the stomach. He groaned miserably and fell to his side. She closed her eyes and dusted her hands off.

"You didn't use your hands at all," said Genis. Sheena gave him a death glare, and he fell silent.

"Let's hurry! Lloyd may be in danger!"

Regal rolled his eyes. "I think he would cause more danger for others than himself, Colette."

As Sheena's group ran off towards the town, the three angels and Regal looked at each other.

"What a convenient mixup," Yuan commented.

An evil laugh is heard from, well, me. Muwahahah! Yeah, like that.

"She did this on purpose," said Kratos. "All four of us hate each other."

_Yes! Get along! (Crazy laughter)_

With a huge sigh, the four of them stood up and lazily shuffled towards the city. Town. Whatever the hell it is!

And soooo...time passes...

"He disappeared," Zelos pointed out, for some reason sitting in a shopping cart and playing with a dead fish skeleton, spinning it between his fingers.

Yuan rolled his eyes. "Aw, thanks, couldn't guess!"

Suddenly, a loud boom was heard. The four glanced at each other.

"Crap," Zelos said. "That's defiantly Lloyd."

A loud whirling noise erupted, causing the four to wince.

"What the hell is that!"

_Sirens. It's the police. The "good guys" that arrest people when they commit a crime. Then the people go to jail._

"Like in Meltokio?"

_The only place with a jail._

"Ah, hell," Kratos muttered. "So if he goes to jail, we'll probably go to jail?"

_I guess...that gives me an idea!_

The other three glower at Kratos, who looks unfazed. They lower their glaring, seeing that the angel isn't effected by it. Kratos laughed, being the glaring champ.

Meanwhile...

"Ow!" Sheena yelled, clapping her hands over her ears. "That's really loud!"

_Meet sirens._

"I've heard of these!" Raine shouted, in her "studious mode". "So these are sirens! I must...perform...experiments and stuff..."

_On sirens? That's kinda weird..._

"That's Raine for you," the smaller half-elf muttered. Luckily, Raine didn't hear.

"Yes, on sirens! Let's go!" Raine ran towards the sirens, and the rest reluctantly followed.

Yeah yeah, and so...

"Pretty lights..." said Zelos, not able to pry his eyes from the lights on top the cop cars. In his mouth was the fish skeleton without the head (like Sanosuke in Rurouni Kenshin!), and he left the shopping cart behind. "Distracting..."

"Look, there's Lloyd." Kratos pointed in the direction of his son, who was being pulled and tugged by cops.

"Lemme go! Lemme go I tell you! That damn tomato had it coming! Lemme go!"

"I can't imagine what he did," said Regal. Yuan shrugged.

"Hell, I can. And you don't want to hear it."

Zelos was still staring at the lights, so was unable to make a stupid/funny comment back. "Must...have them...pretty..."

Kratos ignored the chosen. "Excuse me," he said, walking up to the cop. "That's my son, and if he's done anything wrong, I'll take care of it."

"So this is your son?" The cop said. He was holding the back of Lloyd's collar of his shirt. "I'll tell you what he's done wrong. After mowing down crops of tomatoes with his swords here, which are illegal in the first place, he threatened the farmer guy with his illegal weapons and chased the chickens screaming 'death to tomatoes and their chicken slaves!' We were thinking of sending him to the mental institute, but what the hell, let's just lock him in jail."

Kratos hid his sword behind his back as Yuan and Regal ran up. Yuan frowned. "I don't see any farms around here."

"Shut up, young'un!" The cop snapped at him. The corner of Yuan's mouth twitched. "Now, it seems that there is a sword too! Is it yours?"

Kratos shook his head. "No it isn't."

"You sure? Are you Kratos Aurion? It's got your name on it."

"No it isn't."

"What is your name, then?"

"Ummm..." He looked around for a hint when his eyes fell on a sign in front of a fish shop where Zelos had gotten the fish. "Tod Tucker," he said, reading "Tod's Fish" on the sign and a truck not to far away reading "Tuckers". The three stared at him with disbelief, and laughter from me is heard in the distance. The cops can't hear it, and the cop holding Lloyd shrugged.

"Okay, then. I'm arresting you anyway."

The three (not Lloyd) face faulted, anime style, and jumped back on their feet.

"That's not right!" Regal yelled. "Don't we have rights or anything?"

"Rights? Oh, yeah. You do. So get in the car."

Lloyd stopped fighting and looked excited. "We're going for a ride? Yay!"

The three sighed. Yuan whispered "This'll be a long trip."

"Is he with you?" The cop asked, pointed at the now drooling Zelos who was still staring at the lights. Kratos glanced at the chosen. He was starting to look drunk, the fish skeleton hanging limply from his mouth as he stared wide eyed at the lights.

"Um, no?"

"Are you sure?"

"Pretty much."

"Positive?"

"Yes..."

"Crystal clear?"

Kratos was getting annoyed. "Transparent."

"Really?"

"He's not with us!" Yuan yelled, hands in fists of rage, his eye twitching in absolute anger as he resisted with all his might to kill this man.

"Then he's arrested too!"

"Why!"

"Because you're lying to us!"

_Forgot to tell you, cops know all. Gotta be respectful to them. _

"Crap! You could have told us earlier! Now we are all arrested!"

_You just better hurry and get in the car before the other half of your group get arrested..._

"And if we don't?"

_No one can pay the bail. So you are stuck._

"Are you telling the truth?"

_Do I ever? Don't answer that. Just go already._

"Who are you talking to?" The cop asked Yuan suspiciously.

Yuan sweat dropped (Imagine Yuan sweat dropping). "Umm...myself! I do that a lot!"

The cop shrugged, and shouted orders to the other cops. "There's Tod Tucker here, with this crazy blue haired freak, a guy already cuffed, this tomato killing kid, and a weirdo drooling over the lights." Everyone was handcuffed, and thrown into the cop car, squished in the backseat.

"I got window seat!" Lloyd exclaimed, seemingly forgotten about the strange crime he just committed. Kratos rolled his eyes.

"This isn't a field trip, you know."

"Pretty lights..."

"Handcuffs are annoying as hell," Yuan said. He glared at Regal. "How do you cope with them?"

"Amazing skill."

"How are five grown men able to be stuffed in this car?" Kratos wondered out loud.

Yuan meant to shrug but couldn't move. "Hell, who needs breathing?"

"Pretty pretty lights..."

"Chosen, shut up!" The Renegade leader snapped. He glowered at the redhead, and blinked, puzzled. Zelos looked like he was in a trance.

"Pretty lights, so dazzling..."

"What wrong with him?"

_Lights, Yuan. He almost gets...possessed by the lights. Staring into blinking lights for too long can leave a person a bit head dented and drugged for a while. He may act very very scary and strange for a bit, so cope with it._

"Hey, Yuan!" The redhead said slowly, eyes half open as if he was drunk. "Did you know that renegade is actually a word? It means a person who deserts and betrays an organization, country, or set of principles, or having treacherously changed allegiance. Hahahah, that's so ironic..."

"This is just perfect," Kratos muttered.

The cop in the front seat tapped the glass window, annoyed. "Keep it down-hey! We've got a light-influenced problem! Let's hurry and get to the jail!" With a lot of force, the car took off, jolting the five back due to inertia! Hahahah, I love inertia. Hate physics but love inertia. Ironically, as the cop car zoomed out of sight, Sheena and the others appeared only seconds after.

"Dammit!" Sheena shouted. "I swear those lights were right here!"

"How?" Genis asked.

"My ninja sense was tingling." She gave a shiver.

Genis frowned. "Ninja sense?"

"Alright, actually, I lied. I saw a bright flash over here."

"Look," Presea said in her monotone voice, just like my boring science teacher. She was pointing at the road. "Tracks."

"You're right, Presea!" Genis said, blushing scarlet at talking with the girl. Presea just smiled at him as Raine observed the tracks.

"I wonder what they are," the professor said. She hovered her hand over the tracks. "Fantastic..."

Sheena was busy looking at a random car parked on the side of the street. "Look, these markings on this wheel are the same as on the road, or very similar."

Colette suddenly looked fearful. "Oh no! Maybe that thing turns into a monster with wheel feet and ate up our friends! Nooooo!" She burst into tears.

_Sigh._

"No, Colette," said Raine. "This is an automobile. Look, you put a key in there..." She pointed beyond the glass at a small hole in the ignition. "And the mobile starts, and under your control."

_It's a car. Just car._

"Oh." The chosen looked blissful, as if nothing happened. "Okay then!"

"But where are the others?" Said Genis. "I wonder if they found Lloyd."

"Dunno." Sheena shrugged. "We could follow the tracks to find them. I'm sure those four angels can defend for themselves, along with Regal. Even if two of them are idiots and the other two have short tempers."

Heheheheh. They only wish.

"This is such bullcrap," muttered Yuan.

The five of them were sitting in the jail cell, still in their regular uniforms, but a big number pinned to their backs. Zelos was still in his tipsy strange mood, which was overflowing the other two angels' patience.

"Sing us a song, you're the piano man!" Zelos sang, very out of tune. "Sing us a song, tonight!" (Piano Man, Billy Joel)

Don't ask how he knows that song by Billy Joel, he just does. XD

"Ba ba! Badada ba ba! Badada ba ba, bada ba baaa! Shades of grey, where ever I goooo..." (Shades of Grey, Billy Joel)

"Why!" Yuan complained, looking helplessly at the ceiling.

_Cause Billy Joel rocks!_

Kratos and Yuan whimpered. Regal was sitting up against the wall, dozing off, and Lloyd starting singing along.

"I don't need you to worry for me, cause I'm alll right! I don't want you to tell me it's time to come home!" the duo sang loudly. "I don't care what you say anymore, this is my life! Go ahead with your own life, leave me alone!" (My Life, Billy Joel)

"Get them to shut up!" Yuan hissed at Kratos, covering his ears. Kratos sighed.

"Hey, Lloyd, Chosen, could you-"

"Things are okay with me these days, I gotta good job! I gotta good office, I gotta good wife, gotta good life and the family is fine! Ooohhh! Lost touch long ago! Lost way, I did not know you could ever look so nice after so much time!" (Italian Restaurant, Billy Joel)

"Jeez, you gotta be firmer, Kratos."

"But..."

"Did you write the book of loving, do you have faith in God above! If the Bible tells you so. And you do believe in rock and roll? Does music save your mortal soul? And can you teach me how to dance reeeal slow?" (American Pie, Don McLean)

"You better shut them up before I kill them!" Yuan yelled over the singing.

"And before they do too," Regal said quite calmly, pointing at the other convicts in the other cells, who looked ready to kill them. Kratos growled and stood up, walking over to the singing duo.

"Lloyd! Zelos! Shut up!" Kratos yelled in their faces. Lloyd quickly fell silent, and Zelos lowered his voice to a hum. "No humming!" Zelos finally fell silent, eyes filled with fear.

"Whoa," was Yuan's only comment.

Kratos sat on the cold concrete, arms crossed, a scowl of annoyance on his face. "This really sucks. We better get out of here soon."

The jail doors open, and everyone else leaves.

"Where are they going?" Lloyd asked up to the ceiling, obviously to me.

_Break._

"Convicts get breaks?"

_Well, it isn't really a break. More like play time. Get it?_

The five shrugged, and walked into a huge room. Facing them was a lot of convicts, all with murder written on their faces, each equipped with some type of weapon. They were all sneering.

Zelos gulped. "Oh snap."

Suzu: Whoo! Finito!

Yuan: Why always us?

Suzu: Dunno, for some reason, you four angels are fun to tease.

Yuan, Lloyd, Zelos, and Kratos: Perfect.

Suzu: Heheh. Well? RR! It may not be very funny, but I hoped you enjoyed it anyway. I tell you, humor fics now are hard to write. You'll soon see why they get sentenced to three days in a locked school, and the problems they'll face! Yay! So now to act like the DBZ announcer person. CAN THE FIVE ESCAPE THE CONVICTS' WRATH? WILL SHEENA AND THE OTHERS FIND THEM BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE? DID ZELOS REALLY JUST SAY OH SNAP? WILL THE CHICKENS COME BACK FOR REVENGE? AND WHAT WILL BE OUR HEROS' PUNISHMENT IF THEIR FRIENDS CAN'T PAY THE BAIL? FIND OUT NEXT TIME, EVEN IFTHIS STUFFISN'T IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, ON TRAPPED IN SCHOOL!

All: ...

Suzu: Umm...(quick look) I think I said everything.

Jet: Good, now end this.

Suzu: Of course. Ja ne!


	2. Bad convicts, bad!

Suzu: Welcome back! Finally!

Jet: Whoa, people are still reading this. Amazing.

Suzu: Don't nit pick. Time for review responses!

Heidi021–Really? You think it's funny? Wow! Compliments! Thank you!

AnimeQueen–Don't worry I will. Thanks.

Twisted-Galaxy–Me like too! Thank you!

Icedragongirl–I like tomatoes too! But Lloyd doesn't. He hates them. In one of the Genis skits if you pick the wrong answer when he asks what to cook, he threatens to make tomatoes, and Lloyd freaks out. Don't worry, tomatoes and chickens may get their revenge! (Evil smile)

Lloyd: Oo' Eep...

Chickens: (Nasty glare, holding tomatoes in wings)

Lloyd: (Croaks) Suzu...

Suzu: (Absolutely ignoring him) Last time, on Trapped in School...

Lloyd did a very scary crime in some town, and the group split up to look for him. Kratos, Zelos, Yuan, and Regal found him being attacked by cops. All five of them were arrested, and sent to jail. Meanwhile, I'm laughing. Double meanwhile, the rest of the party found the tire tracks and decided to follow them. In jail the light-drunken Zelos and strange Lloyd did a scary singing duo of songs, which enraged the prisoners. Now, the five must deal with mates enraged by the two idiots...oh snap!

Suzu: Hahah! I'm so useful! And yes, oh snap. Awesome phrase. Start using it. Sheena, disclaimer.

Sheena: Envoy from the dark abyss! Shadow!

Shadow: They...own...nothing...

Zelos: You force the summon spirits to do the disclaimer?

Sheena: Yes, is that wrong?

Zelos: Well ye-(notices the dangerous spark in her eyes) No! Not at all!

Sheena: Good boy.

Suzu: Oo' Um, let's go?

"Oh snap," Zelos said, taking a step back.

Yuan threw him a glance. "Oh snap?"

"Yes, oh snap! What's wrong with that?"

"Ah, oh snap is a saying for oh shi-"

"We get the point, Yuan," Kratos cut in. "Mind you, there is a large group waiting to kill us."

"Cause of these two!" Yuan pointed at Zelos and Lloyd, who both shielded themselves with their arms in fear. Kratos shook his head.

"The why doesn't matter. It's the how are we going to survive this that matters."

"Perfect," Yuan muttered. "Just perfect. How did I get dragged into this..."

"Feel pain, twerps!" One of the convicts yelled. The rest cheered.

"We are going to _die_..." Zelos said. His hand went for his sword, but it wasn't there. "Dammit! They confiscated it!" Everyone else checked too, noticing that their weapons were gone, why they didn't notice before we may never know. Oblivious, I tell you.

The convicts got closer, and the five backed up slowly.

"Someone do something..." Lloyd hissed. "Dad..."

"Um..." Kratos got an idea. "I have it."

"No, I have it," Regal said. "Healer." He winked. (Get it? No? Dammit.)

"...Um, right."

Yuan's patience was already gone. "So? What's the plan!"

"...We run."

Kratos turned and bolted out of the room, the other four following at full speed.

Meanwhile...

Sheena and the others were following the tracks on foot, Sheena and Raine leading, Colette skipping behind them, Presea was walking with no emotion and Genis was shuffling behind them, hands behind his head in boredom.

"I'm tired of this!" He whined. "We've been following these stupid tracks for hours!"

"Be quiet, Genis," his sister scolded.

"But...can't we get a car or something..."

_I'm not putting a weapon you can't use in your hands._

"She does have a point," Presea said.

_Whoa, I do? Cool!_

Silence.

"Um..." Sheena was looking down at the tracks. "I can barely see the tracks now, maybe we should get a dog or something..."

"Yay!" Colette squealed, forcing Genis to flinched. "Doggy, doggy!"

"There's a pet store over there," Raine said, pointing to the left. "Let's go." They turned and walking towards the pet store.

Meanwhile meanwhile...

"Dammit, this sucks!" Zelos whined.

"Quit complaining!" Yuan barked back.

"Where are the others now?" Kratos asked, looking up as he ran.

_Buying a dog to follow the tire tracks more easily._

"We are being chased by a bunch of inferior humans with death objects, and they went shopping!" Yuan yelled.

_Yeah. Why?_

Yuan rolled his eyes. "Ugh, never mind."

"I dunno about you guys," Zelos said. "But I'm getting kinda tired..."

"Keep running!" Kratos and Yuan hissed at the same time.

"Dude, I haven't been alive for 4000 years!" Zelos snapped back.

Yuan grinned as he looked back at the chosen. "Want to?"

"What?"

"Use the Cruxis crystal to-ow!" Kratos had punched Yuan in the head as they continued to run.

"Just keep running...wait where's Lloyd?"

Zelos looked to his right where Lloyd had been running to find him gone. "Uh oh..."

Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile...

"Look!" Colette squealed, overly excited about the dogs. "A black one! And a white one! A black one with little white dots!"

"Holy crap," Genis said, staring at a tag on a cage. "40,000 gald? No way! And this is a poodle!" The little dog whined and fell asleep in the cage. "You're kidding me."

"How about this?" Sheena asked, indicating to a small cage on the floor. Everyone crowed around it, showing...a ferret.

"Sheena," Genis said, frowning. "That's not a dog."

"But it looks like one!" Colette said happily. "It's so cute!"

"It's a ferret."

"A fascinating creature..." Raine stared at the ferret.

"We are not wasting our money on a ferret."

"Whine whine whine whine..."

The group stared at the ferret, who stared back.

"Whine whine whine whine..."

Genis looked at his sister. "Raine, the ferret is whining."

"Whine whine whine whine..."

"I don't think that's the ferret," said Sheena, looking away from the ferret. "It sounds familiar...what the hell?"

Genis glanced up. "What's wrong?"

Sheena pointed towards a huge cage. Inside was...

"Noishe!" Genis exclaimed, stumbling over to the protozoan. Noishe whined again from inside the cage, clearly unhappy and terrified. "What are you doing...holy crap! 2 million gald!"

"We must free him," said Presea.

"Yes," agreed Raine. "But how? We don't have that kind of money."

"Those four angels would be pretty helpful right now..." Genis sighed.

"Who the hell needs them!" Sheena mocked, stepping forward. "Watch my skills as a ninja!"

"What are you going to do?"

"Pick the lock!" Sheena sat down and grabbed the lock, taking out one of her cards and stuffing it inside the hole. Genis sighed.

"This should be good."

Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile...

"This place is pretty big."

"Beggar's can't be choosers, chosen," Kratos grumbled.

"I'm saying it's a little _to _big."

Yuan frowned as he ran in the middle Kratos and Zelos, glancing at the red head. Regal? I dunno, somewhere behind them, out of sight, out of mind. "You're quite a complainer, you know that?"

"I do not complain!" Zelos grumbled, offended.

"You're pretty good at it."

"I am not! Kratos make him stop it!"

"Ah hah!" Yuan said, pointing at Zelos. "Whining!"

"Both of you shut up!" Kratos snarled. "We have to find Lloyd without having those humans catch up with us."

"Why call them humans if you are a human too?" Yuan pointed out.

Kratos resisted hitting him. "Do must humans have fancy glowing wings on their backs?"

"Oh! Oh! Does that mean I'm not a human either?" Zelos said, a bit over excited.

"...I hate you."

"Corner!" Yuan yelled, the only one looking ahead of them. He turned sharply to the right, cutting off Zelos and forcing the chosen to turn too. However, Kratos was to busy scowling with rage at the chosen, and didn't see the big wall coming before him. Guess what happens.

WACK!

Yuan and Zelos turn around at once to see Kratos ram at full speed into the wall. Regal skidded to a stop and watched emotionlessly (whoa, that's a word?). Groaning the angel was flattened up against it, not moving for several minutes. Finally he peeled himself away from the wall. "Ooowww..." Like a puppet with its strings cut, the angel crumbled to the ground.

"Um..." Yuan walked over and poked Kratos. "Hello? You still alive?"

Kratos jumped to his feet. "WHO THE HELL PUT THAT DAMN WALL THERE!"

Yuan looked up to see the convicts still looking for them. "Dammit. C'mon, you waste of life. We need to find Lloyd and get outta here."

"Look!" Zelos pointed towards where the convicts were. "There's Lloyd!"

Lloyd was right in front of the convicts, now dressed in a nice suit and tie. "May peace find its way into the world, and forever may the people keep it!"

The convicts cheered loudly. "Yay! Three cheers for Lloyd Irving! Yay yay yay!"

"There is something really wrong with that," Yuan said.

"Let's just grab him and get out of here," said Kratos, somehow now completely unharmed from the wall ramming.

Meanwhile meanwhile...okay, I lost count.

"..." Raine was pacing back and forth.

"What's taking so long!" Genis yelled at Sheena, who was still trying to pick the lock.

"It's harder than it looks!" Sheena barked back. "You try it!"

Suddenly the back of the cage swings open and Noishe walks out. The group is silent for a long time, staring as Noishe meets them.

"What the hell was that!" Sheena snarled.

_Hey, I got annoyed with you trying to pick the nonunlockable lock._

Genis frowned. "Nonunlockable?"

_Yes! I make up words! What of it?_

"Whatever. Anyway, we've got Noishe now."

"Yes," said Raine. "Only we are stealing him."

"...So?"

Raine sighed, yet didn't pursue the subject.

Mean-you get my drift, right?

Kratos walked up towards the stage Lloyd was standing on with the other two close behind, and Regal in the back (I almost forgot about him). For some odd reason, no one recognized them except Lloyd.

"Daddy! Yay, Daddy's here!"

"C'mon, Lloyd, come with, erm, Daddy."

"No way!" The convicts yelled. "He's a peace preacher!"

"Peace-hell no!" Kratos pointed behind them. "Let there be mustard of DOOM!"

"Wha?" The convicts turned around.

"Nyah!" Kratos grabbed the others and disappeared with his angel powers.

Meanwhile. Yes, one meanwhile. Just one, dammit!

"Noishe," Genis grumbled. "You are useless."

"Whine."

Presea is sitting on the huge dog as they all continue following the tracks. Suddenly...something happens. Want to know what? Do you? Huh? Huh? Alright, I'll tell you.

Kratos and gang appear! Yay! They found each other! Party time!

"Kratos!" Raine yells, surprised.

"Run to live!" He shouted and ran with the others following in hot pursuit. Raine and her party frown when they hear running from behind them. Over the hills the convicts and cops are running towards them. The rest turned and ran behind the four angels and Regal out of town.

And so, now out of town...

Lloyd is riding Noishe while hugging him gleefully. Everyone else is walking along feeling miserable, except Colette and Presea and Lloyd.

"Great," Zelos mumbled. "We are wanted. _Again_."

"I'm not surprised, seeing we travel you two," Yuan snapped back.

"Now now, children," Kratos said. "Get along."

"No!" Both of them yelled.

"Get along, now!" Kratos' voice sounded so dangerous both of them fell silent at once.

"Yes, ma'am," they muttered.

"What?"

"Sir! Yes sir!"

"Good boys. Here are some cookies." He gave both of them a cookie, then realized his mistake with Yuan. "Oh, snap."

Suzu: Heheheh.

Kratos: You made me do that _because_?

Jet: I'm am so the champion!

Suzu: What makes you say that?

Jet: I found my old millennium flashlight!

Suzu: _What!_

Jet: Yeah! Watch, it still works! (Shines light on Yuan)

Yuan: NOOO! MY HAIR IS GONE!

Suzu: Who would have guessed.

Raine: What is that object?

Jet: This baby here can take away whatever you adore most when the light shines on you.

Zelos: We are gonna die.

Suzu: No we aren't, cause I have...THIS! (Takes out the millennium remote)

Zelos: ...It's a clicker.

Suzu: It's a remote, dammit!

Zelos: Same difference.

Raine: (Interested) What does that do?

Suzu: Like a movie this thing can fastforward real time, rewind, pause, play, etc.

Raine: ...MUST EXPERIMENT!

As Raine jumps for it, Suzu presses pause and Raine freezes midair.

All: Oooooo...

She presses play and Raine falls to the ground.

All: Ahhhhh...

Suzu: (presses rewind so Yuan gets back his awesome hair)

Yuan: YAY! I LOVE YOU! (Glomp)

Suzu: Meep...(pushes Yuan off of her) Anyway, review! Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry it took a bit. Heheh...heh...hm...

Jet: (Shines flashlight on Zelos)

Zelos: NOO! MY HUNNIES BACK AT HOME...that I somehow know about from here...

Jet: MUWAHAHAH!

Suzu: That thing definitely brings out your bad side...


	3. Magic cookies!

Suzu: Yay! People like this story! And they like it when I torture the four angels!

Angels: (whimper)

Jet: (Sarcastic) Nifty.

Suzu: Isn't it? I have skill.

Jet: Whatever. I have power. (Shines flashlight on Kratos)

Kratos: (Glaring as his Judgement outfit disappears, and he is standing in boxers)

All: ...

Jet: Turn it back! Turn it back!

Suzu: (Presses rewind on Kratos, giving back his outfit)

Sheena: That was unexpected.

Zelos: (Quite silent, when he falls to the floor laughing, rolling around)

Kratos: Eruption.

Zelos: (Jumps to his feet) Oh...crap! (Falls unconscious)

Suzu: Settle down, guys, time for the trusty review responses!

Jet: Trusty?

Suzu: Yes, I like having reviewers, so what else is better than to respond to them?

Jet: Having a bowl of ice cream.

Suzu: (Sweatdrops)

Heidi021–Your very welcome! My reviewers deserve acknowledgment. I was curious to see who got the stupid healer joke, as I hate Regal I rarely use him in battle, he's pretty useless. Sorry Regal-fans. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

IbnBandgrl–Oh snap is an awesome saying, isn't it? Don't worry, those four will have a rough time throughout the story. Meheheheh. Holy Martel! I forgot about Mithos! He needs to be in it now!

Zelda's Fox38–Hey, someone else got the joke! Whoa, I'm surprised. Yeah, I should start using him more in battles...ferrets are reliable...right? Thank you for reviewing.

CelestialSanctity–Okay! I will. I'm thinking of a humor one that includes me and my brother. Interesting, no? Happy I made you laugh, cause that's the point!

Crystaltears–Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay!

Smashsis72–Domo arigato! Thank you! I try, I really do...

RoGuE-WhItE-DrAgOn–heheh, careful, don't laugh too hard...

Nameless–I like your name, seriously. They'll go to school reeeally sooon...

Jet: Aren't you famous.

Suzu: Yeah!

Zelos: (Somehow okay) ON WITH THE FIC!

Jet: (Shines flashlight, getting rid of Zelos' voice)

Zelos: ...!

Kratos: Heheh, now the chosen's mute.

Zelos: ...(sweatdrops)

"Why did you do that!" Zelos yelled, watching Yuan scarf down the cookies and started kicking his feet uncontrollably. "We already have Lloyd to look after! Now we have a hyper Yuan!"

"Oops."

"That's not helping..."

"Hey, Chosen!" Yuan yelled, hopping up and down like a little kid.

"Great..."

"Man, what a little kid," Commented Lloyd, like the idiot he is.

"Maybe he'll turn into one," said Zelos scoffed cynically.

Right before their eyes, though, Yuan _was_ transforming into a little kid. The group just stared at the little chibi Yuan, dumbfounded for words. Zelos, as always, broke the silence.

"_Holy crap._"

"Good job, Zelos," Sheena said, voice filled with sarcasm. "Smooth."

"I didn't do it!"

Kratos walked forward and picked the little renegade leader up. Yuan blinked his big blue eyes and smiled happily at the older man. (Awww! Kawaii!) His clothes seemed to have shrunk with him, yet his cape was way to long but fit his neck. Obviously something is weird since his clothes still fit. _Obviously_. Are you suspicious, yet? No? Get suspicious, dammit!

"Kratos," Raine said seriously. "What did you do..."

"Nothing...I don't think."

"Obviously he changed Yuan into a kid," said Genis.

"Oh no!" Colette said. "How sad!"

Zelos snorted a laugh. "Yeah. Sad indeed."

"It must have been those cookies." Raine snatched the cookie from Zelos' hand that was given to him and looked at it closely. It looked like a regular cookie. "Yup, it was the cookies."

"How do you know?" Asked Lloyd.

"Because after he ate the cookies, he turned into a kid."

Genis frowned. "Duh, Lloyd."

"Ugh," Zelos groaned. "Thank Martel I didn't eat one. Dammit, Kratos! Trying to poison us!"

"That would be a given," Kratos said calmly. "But I am not allowed to kill off my comrades, even one as obnoxious as you."

"Well, you still gave us these...uh...chibi-changing cookies!"

"It doesn't matter why he was changed," Lloyd said. "But how do we get him back?"

"It may be a good idea to know why." Lloyd shot a nasty glance at Genis.

Yuan suddenly jumped out of Kratos' arms and ran away. Everyone stared at him running.

"..."

"WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING!" Sheena yelled. "GO GET HIM BEFORE HE KILLS HIMSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE!"

All the guys ran after Yuan quickly, with the girls behind them. Noishe whined and followed up behind.

"Ahahahah!" Laughed Yuan. "Tag!" He found another town (this one is different! Different!) and ran inside.

"Where'd he go?" Lloyd panted.

"There!" Yelled Kratos, pointing as he spotted the blue haired kid running through the streets.

"Where?"

"There!"

"Where?"

"_There!_"

"Where?"

"THERE!" Kratos forced his son's head in the right direction, yet Yuan was almost out of sight. "Aw, damn."

While Kratos and Lloyd were arguing or whatever you want to call it, Zelos had sprung forward with his yellow wings springing on his back to give him an extra force. Yuan watched as Zelos flew forward, ignoring the stares, and stepped out of the way when the chosen was only a few feet from him. Zelos muttered something along the lines of 'oh, crap' and a bunch of other things that would make the rating of this fic go up past PG13, and collided into the wall. A very solid wall. Yeah, and those kinds hurt. Bad. Not that I run into walls or anything...(awkward silence)

"AH! SONNAVA-!" Zelos yelled and held his bloody head. Bleeding, really. Not the other phrase of bloody like in England or something. I mean physically bleeding. Am I confusing you yet?

"Gotcha!" Kratos flung himself forward in hopes of catching Yuan but missed...by a lot. Yuan giggled.

"Wow Kratos, you almost got him," said Genis sarcastically.

"Shut up..."

Yuan ran right past Lloyd, who watched him pass with no sort of movement.

"Lloyd!"

"What, Genis?"

"You were supposed to catch him!"

"...I was?"

"Yes! Argh..."

Colette was trying to think of what to do as Yuan ran at her. "Um..um...Holy song!"

Dead silence.

Kratos growled. "And that was supposed to do...what again?"

"Um...I'll try again...Sorry everyone..."

"Just do it!"

"Angel Feathers!"

Feathers fly but don't effect Yuan at all. Silence again...

_Oh, yeah, flying feathers don't really have effect on Earth._

"You tell us now!" Kratos snarled.

Zelos walks back, very dizzy. "Hahah, you people are stupid..."

SMACK!

"Oooww!"

Sheena dusted off her hands. "Speak for yourself."

"Hey," Lloyd said. "Have you noticed that Sheena only hits Zelos and no one else?"

"Yeah!" Genis agreed. "And Raine only hits you and me!"

Kratos snorted. "Well, if she hit Zelos too, the chosen would have a concussion right now."

"Or a big headache," Zelos sighed miserably.

"But the professor never hits anyone except me and Genis, not even Kratos."

"She better not." Kratos narrowed his eyes.

"Angel Feathers!"

Genis looked at Colette. "Colette, it's not working."

"I didn't say it! Yuan did."

"I didn't say it! Yuan did," mimicked Yuan.

"Now he's a parrot," said Raine.

"Now he's a parrot."

Lloyd blinked. "We should get him to stop, he's confusing me."

"We should get him to stop, he's confusing me."

"And it's annoying."

"And it's annoying," Yuan copied Kratos' words.

Zelos smirked. "Allow me."

Sheena looked at him. "You? What are you gonna do?"

Zelos ignored her. "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Yuan was silent.

"I rest my case."

"Nifty," Kratos muttered and snatched Yuan up by the cape. "Now we have to get this little runt back to his regular form."

"Do we have to?" Colette pleaded. "He's so cute!"

Everyone was silent, except for Zelos, who had indeed collapsed to the ground in uncontrollable laughter. Who can blame him? Seriously?

"Let me see," Raine said. She took out her staff as Kratos held Yuan in front of him. "Purify!" Nothing happened. "Resurrection!" Nope, nothing. "Um, Nurse!" Nada. "Revitalize!" Nothing, other than every party member getting healed for no reason, which Raine constantly does in battle even if I lose only a tiny bit of health.

"I dare say it's not working," Genis said, frowning sarcastically.

"I concur," agreed Kratos.

"Aw man!" Raine said. "My healing spells had no effect!"

Lloyd ran up with a gel in his hand. "Lemme try!" He stuffed the gel down the poor kid's, er, man's, er, dammit, Yuan's throat. Yuan coughed and choked, spitting out the gel.

"Nasty!" Yuan complained.

"I do not blame him," Kratos said in a rather calm matter. "I like healing much better when attacked by-"

"Monsters!" Zelos yelled.

"Yes, when attacked by mons-"

"No! MONSTERS!" Zelos pointed behind them. The group all turned around to see...more policemen.

Dead silence.

"Zelos, those are cops," Presea said monotone-like.

"Eepy!" Zelos hid behind Sheena. Bad mistake. Whack! "Ow!"

"Don't touch me!" The summoner scolded.

"What are you all doing?" The cop in front asked suspiciously. The 9 party members looked at each other, than at Yuan who was staring at his fingers in Kratos' arms. They all looked sheepishly at the cops, faking smiles.

"Nothing!" Genis lied quickly.

The cops looked at each other and shrugged. "Well, stay out of trouble." They walked away.

Few minutes pass in silence.

"I just got away with destroying a wall," Zelos said.

"And me destroying you," Sheena added. Zelos whimpered.

"Now what? We need to get Yuan back," Lloyd said, looking thoughtful for once.

Colette looked around and spotted a man sitting on the curb. She walked cheerfully over to him, still in a good distance diameter from him. "Hello!"

The man grunted, holding a beer bottle.

"Can you tell us where we can find some help? Our friend here was mysteriously changed into a child by eating a magical cookie!"

Everyone behind her smacked their heads, muttering words like moron or stupid or baka.

The man didn't answer.

"H-hello?" Colette asked, blinking.

The man grunted again and flipped her the finger. Yes, that finger. The one finger. Buwahahah!

Dead silence yet again as the man gets up and shuffles away.

"What did that mean?" Raine said, puzzled. She scratched her cheek questionably.

"Let's ask the author," said Genis, obviously thinking how smart and intelligent I am. "YO AUTHORESS!"

_What do you want now?_

"That guy just showed us his middle finger! What does that mean?"

_...BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (Cough cough) Hahahahahahahah! (Chokes on spit) Yuck! Hemhem, BUWAHAHAHAHAHAH!_

"She's not helping," Kratos mumbled.

"Maybe it means hello or something," Zelos said, staring at his own finger. "These Earthers already have weird cultures."

"Whoa, Zelos!" Lloyd said. "You're actually being smart for once!"

Zelos shot him a nasty glare. "Isn't that ironic?"

"What's ironic?"

"That you are calling me smart and you're...never mind."

Colette suddenly got excited...for no apparent reason. She just did. "Okay! Then we should do it to everyone too!"

So like the curious little morons they are, they did, walking around flipping the bird to everyone they met. Kratos, however, didn't because he was holding Yuan. Yuan was mimicking everyone. I was to busy laughing to tell them to stop...cause it's funny.

"Is it just me," Kratos said. "Or do those people seem not to like it when we move up our middle finger?"

Good old Kratos. Smart guy.

"Stop being a party pooper," Zelos said, enjoying it as he walked along. "This is kinda fun."

"HEY!"

Everyone turned around to see five policemen running past the enraged crowd all five with a nightstick in the air. Everyone sweatdropped.

"Oh, snap," Kratos said.

"Seems like we have to run for our lives again," mumbled Regal, who I just noticed said nothing this entire chapter.

"GIVE THEM CHASE!" Lloyd yelled and bolted top speed away. He was close lined by a cop and fell to his back, moaning on the ground.

"You'll hurt yourself," the cop said.

Zelos pointed at the boy holding his throat and squirming in pain on the ground. "What do you call that?"

"A necessary casualty."

"We hear you've been flipping birds to everyone!" The second cop boomed.

"Flipping birds?" Colette said, confused. "We don't have any birds!"

The cops look at each and laugh uncontrollably. They then settle down and look serious again.

"You're going to jail."

"WHAT! AGAIN!" Zelos screamed.

"Yes."

"WHY!"

"Stop screaming."

"Yes sir!" Zelos saluted.

"Flipping the middle finger is a serious offense. Get in the car."

Everyone against their will except Colette and Lloyd got into the car. Thought having four people in the car was squished? Imagine 10.

"I can't breathe anymore," Zelos whined.

"If you can talk you can breathe," Kratos shot back, already annoyed to his extend.

"CAR RIDE! WHEE!" XD Lloyd yelled blissfully.

"YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!" Yuan also yelled, sitting on Kratos' lap, waving his arms.

"I hate you people," Genis muttered.

"There is not enough room," Raine pointed out. "Some of you get on the floor."

"Not it!" Kratos, Genis, Presea, Raine, and Sheena shouted quickly.

"That settles it. Zelos, Lloyd, Regal, and Colette will sit on the floor," Raine said.

"Ah...shit!" Zelos swore.

"Zelos! Little ears!" Sheena hissed.

"Oh. Shit. Sorry."

"Hey, what about Noishe?" Lloyd said, looking out the window at Noishe. Suddenly the protozoan disappeared. "Holy crap!"

_Noishe is back at home. Maaaaybe...nah he's back at home._

"Where are we going?" Sheena asked, tapping the window that connects to the front of the car. The two cops looked back.

"To court," the first one sneered.

"Greeeat."

"We're gonna die!" Genis yelled out unexpectedly.

"Probably," Zelos answered as he began reading Jurassic Park book, which we don't own though would like to. "Chaos theory will over rule us!"

"What's that?" Lloyd asked.

"Well..." Zelos started to explain. If you are familiar with Ian Malcolm in the book, you know how long these can be.

"It's gonna be a long trip," Kratos muttered.

The car drove off...off a cliff! Muwahahahah! Sorry, rewind...the car drove off to court.

Suzu: Major writer's block sucks! Anyway, there you have it. They get their punishment next chapter. (Evil laugh)

All: (Whimper)

Lloyd: WE SHALL LIVE ON AND BREATH EQUALITY!

Silence.

Jet: That was particularly out of the random.

Lloyd: Indeed it was! (Busy fighting chickens and tomatoes...and the chickens and tomatoes are winning) Die evil things, die! Disappear into nothingness! Die!

Kratos: (sighs and drags Lloyd away) C'mon, Lloyd.

Suzu: Yuan won't be a little kid for long! Seriously, can you imagine a chibi Yuan? Kawaii!

Yuan: I hate you.

CRASH!

All: ...huh?

Suzu: What was that?

Zelos: ...!

Suzu: What's wrong?

Zelos: (Muffle muffle)

Jet: I'M GONNA DIE! (Runs past group and into audience)

All: ...

Raine: (runs out too) Where'd he go? He broke my inreplaceable vase from Ascard ruin!

Genis: Raine don't you mean unreplaceable?

Raine: No.

Suzu: Ascard? But that's just a big block.

Raine: No nit picking! Where's Jet!

Jet: (Thinking) She won't find me under this cloak in the audience!

Raine: I bet he's under a cloak hiding in the audience!

Jet: (Still thinking) Damn.

Raine: Jet! Oh, Jet! Come eat this lovely sandwich I made for you!

Jet: Food? (Walks closer) No! Not Raine food! Ew!

Raine: What? It's just a double cheese and bologna with pickles and anchovies and lettuce and mayo and mustard and ketchup and ice cream and pizza crust and potato chips and tomatoes between two very burnt I mean crisp bread. (I search randomly in my fridge while writing this, though I DO NOT have anchovies cause I hate anchovies.)

All: ...

Jet: Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

Raine: (Stuffs sandwich in his mouth. Alright, readers, now is the time to groan with disgust.)

Ziggy: (Appears) Ewwwww-(sees Raine's nasty look at her)-ooooooohhh...

Zelos: (Muffle muffle)

Suzu: Zelos is right, we need to finish this.

Jet: (Somehow recovered from his eating...problem) So finish it.

Suzu: Kay! Well, how did you like it? Did I make you laugh at all? Yay for me! Anyway, the party will see the evil school very very soon...meheh...oh, and thank you for the reviews! They make me feel happy and fuzzy. So...domo arigato! And...will Zelos ever get his voice back? Maaaaybe...

Jet: Look she knows like three words in Japanese.

Suzu: Ja ne! (Laughing evilly) Holy crap, 11 pages...


	4. Car ride to court of DOOM!

Suzu: We are back! Again! Yay! Happy days!

Zelos: ...(mumbles strange sounds because of no voice)

Suzu: Yeah, yeah, I know. You guys don't like it. Get over it.

Zelos: (Whimper)

Ziggy: PAY ME WITH FOOD OR FEEL MY WRATH! (Attacks random people with knives)

All: ...

Jet: (Points at Ziggy) Why did you let _her _in here?

Ziggy: Aw, Plane-chan, you know you love me. (Hugs Jet from behind, arms draped around his neck)

Jet: Don't call me that! And get off! Suzu help!

Suzu: (Drinks coffee)

Jet: Damn you.

Zelos: (muffles, this is what he is trying to say, and somehow everyone understands) _Whoa, Suzu's yami! Wrong thoughts!_

Ziggy: (Lets go) Funny how perverted our minds can be. Excuse me. (Kicks the crap out of Zelos) Okay, I'm good.

Suzu: (Reads reviews) Hey, people are enjoying this! Woo hoo!

Jet: So respond already.

Suzu: Course, Plane-chan.

Jet: Not you too!

Heidi021–You make me feel so...special. (Sighs happily)

Nameless–That's the most random thing I've heard today. I still love your name.

IbnBandgrl–Heheheh, Yuan may be like this for a little while. I was going to change Zelos, actually, but I imagined he would get killed by the party to fast, so I did it with Yuan instead. Both are kawaii though! Who doesn't like JP books! Ian rules! Chaos shall live on!...or something. I haven't found _Timeline _by Crichton, but I'll look for it. I'm looking to get _State of Fear _and _Prey_, both by MC. Thanks! Expect some more chaos and JP...just a hint. Heheh.

SnowCrystal–Yay, chibi Yuan! The finger thing was my brother's idea. Hey, gotta give him some credit.

Ryu Warrior–I know SOME Japanese...but I'm pretty awful at it. Though my family thinks it's the most amazing thing in the world that I can say a couple words like hello, thank you, see you later, and yes/no...thank you for reviewing. Please enjoy this chapter!

Streek-has-returned471–Hmmmm...interesting...meheh...heheheheh...

SilverrWinterr–Okay! I will! Thanks! I love compliments...

Jet: Damn straight I deserve credit.

Suzu: Whatever you say.

Jet: Hell, I deserve more than that.

Suzu: Well, I mentioned more JP...and now I'll mention more us...

Jet: ...What does that mean?

Suzu: Um...nothing...(coughs)

Lloyd: No way in hell am I gonna be a ferret! (Prays to Martel that he'll keep his human form, which probably won't happen)

Zelos: ...

Suzu: You're voice? Oh, I still didn't give it back.

Zelos: (grumbles)

Suzu: Hey, readers, I have a nice little game for you! If you have read very closely, you would have noticed a few math mistakes in my story. The first to find them gets a special review...and a toaster. Have a nice day.

Jet: That's something for them to be interested in your story, right.

Suzu: Ye-I mean no.

Mr. Disclaimer Dude: I'M BACK!

Jet: Oh, good Lord.

Mr. DD: Can I have my job back?

Suzu: If I said no, would you do it anyway?

Mr DD: Yeah.

Suzu: Life's cruel. Do as you will. You still don't get paid.

Mr. DD: I feel needed! Suzu, Jet, and Ziggy do not own ToS or Jurassic Park, or anything other thing mentioned in this fic, this means any of the stuff that already belongs to someone else, got it? Yet thy do own thyselves. Um...thy do that right?

Jet: You suck at Shakespeare. That's my only comment.

Suzu: If I owned ToS, it would go like this.

FLASHBACK! I guess...

Lloyd: I am Lloyd! I am on this quest because of luck and yet I am the most important guy here!

Zelos: Holy shit, how are you in Tethe'alla?

Colette: Flying people! XD

Lloyd: I'm Yggdrasil's shadow but I won't admit it!

Genis: You're an idiot.

Kratos: Be nice to my son.

All: WHAT!

Kratos: Aw, shit!

Regal: I am totally not important!

Lloyd: Where's my daddy!

Yuan: That potion should have your friends asleep for a long time.

Party: (Run out)

Yuan: Funny, I thought it would last longer than that...

Mithos: Martel why did you engage to Yuan because now I can't kill him!

Lloyd: SLASHSLASHTHRUSTSLASH!

Mithos: (dead) I'M NOT FRIGGIN DEAD!

Martel: Feed the tree, dammit.

Lloyd: I forgot the name of it.

Yuan: Where the hell did I go?

Kratos: You guys got betrayed twice, you suck.

Raine: Argh, I'll be the pirate of this ship!

All: ...(long silence)

Zelos: That was random.

END WEIRD FLASHBACK THINGY!

Jet: Thank Martel you don't own Namco.

Zelos: (Mumbles mumbles) ...!

Sheena: What he said. ON WITH THE FIC!

Kratos: Job stealer.

"This is almost as bad as Raine's lectures," Genis muttered, receiving a slap from his sister. "Ow!"

"...And the nonlinear equations in phase space..."

"I lost what he was saying about an hour ago," Lloyd pointed out for no apparent reason except to say something. "For some reason we've been riding in this car squished for an hour and are still alive. We are INVINCIBLE!"

"Someone kill him," Sheena mumbled under her breath so Kratos or Lloyd wouldn't hear. But since they were squished, she had to say it very quietly so they wouldn't hear, so NO ONE heard. Life's tough.

"Bloody good chap," Kratos said randomly, staring out the window.

"...the pool ball should go straight but if a nick in the table could force it to turn..."

"I wonder where he learned this stuff?" Presea asked.

"Well, every other page in the Jurassic Park book has chaos lectures," Kratos said.

"Shoot," said Raine.

"...So unpredictability in a complex system should-"

"Zelos, SHUT UP!" Presea snarled.

Dead silence.

"Holy shit," Kratos said.

"Holy shit," Genis repeated.

"Holy shit," Yuan repeated repeated.

"I said SHUT UP!"

Dead silence again.

So now the car drove in silence. Zelos was twiddling his thumbs with his Jurassic Park book sitting on his lap. Kratos was doing his best to keep little Yuan occupied. Genis was eyeing his sister, wondering when she was going to hit him for cursing. Raine was just reading some book I'm not even going to get into cause I have no idea what the hell is it. Presea was glaring at everyone with murder flashing in her eyes. Lloyd and Colette, don't ask how, were playing Go Fish. Regal was just sitting there, because I don't know what he could be doing other than being Regal. Sheena was trying her hardest not to laugh at the silence, which we all know is really hard to do.

Lloyd held up two fingers, signaling if Colette had any twos, and she shook her head, giggling silently with glee. Lloyd grumbled softly and picked from the pile.

Meanwhile, I'm figuring out how the hell you giggle silently. I mean, if you giggle, you make sound. So how can you do it silently? That's impossible. Well, a 17 year old idiot boy saving the world by combining it is impossible too. Point taken. I'll shut up now. But that still bugs me.

Zelos suddenly shoots up to a standing position and taps on the glass that connects to the front of the car sharply. "ARE WE THERE YET!"

"No," the cop said calmly.

Zelos sits back down and the silence continues. By now Sheena is hardly containing herself. Wonder how long she can last.

A half an hour passes...mighty slowly I might add.

"WE THERE YET NOW?"

"No."

½ hour passes...again...

"NOW?"

"No."

Sheena is starting to shiver. Presea looks at her sharply and narrows her eyes. Sheena covers her mouth, not making a sound.

For some reason Presea won't kill Zelos. Good girl. Do it nice and slowly...um...cough...

More time passes, the same as above...

"DAMMIT WE THERE YET!"

"No."

"CAN YOU AT LEAST TELL US HOW MUCH LONGER!"

"No."

"Dammit."

"I can hear you fine up here. No need to shout."

"Dammit."

"Give it a rest, Chosen," Kratos grumbled.

"Going...critically...insane..." Zelos rocked back and forth with his knees close to his chest, hugging the JP book.

Kratos sighed. "I need a camera."

"HAH! I WIN!" Lloyd did a small dance in triumph.

Colette sighed. "Good job, Llo-"

"I WON! I WON! I AM THE CHAMPION OF THE WORLDS!"

"Lloyd," his father corrected. "There is only one world now."

"My bloody word, you're right! Good point, pops!"

Kratos just sighed and buried his face into his right hand. "Why me..."

"We are here!" The cop said.

"FINALLY!" Zelos snarled. "Get me out of the damn car!"

The cop opened the door and the 10 comrades scrambled out. They just stood there for a while, staring at the huge building in front of them.

"What is court?" Colette suddenly asked.

Silence.

_It's to see if you are guilty or not._

"But we are," Sheena said. "So why bother going to court?"

_Ugh, the point is to try and get off. And no giving anyone the finger, got it?_

"Okay!" Colette said.

The party walked inside the...building...and stood there blankly. Finally they moved and all squished again behind a desk.

"Look at the jury," Raine said. Everyone glanced over to where the jury sat.

Sitting there was Magnius, playing with his weird hair; Pronyma, slowly dozing off; Ian Malcolm, reading a book on chaos theory; Dodgson, glaring daggers at Ian, who didn't give a crap; Forcystus, who was playing tic-tac-toe by himself; Ziggy, throwing pencils at the ceiling; and Jet, who was fast asleep with his ankles crossed.

"We are so screwed," Zelos said.

"Order!" said a random voice. Everyone turned to the judge to see...Kvar! AHHHH!

"What the hell are YOU doing here!" Kratos snarled in surprise.

Kvar shrugged. "I dunno. I'm pretending to be a judge."

"Perfect. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse..."

"This is nothing," Kvar said. "Look who you have for a lawyer."

Everyone turned and looked to find...Pikachu.

"Oh snap," Zelos said.

"What!" Kratos looked back at Kvar. "You stupid half-elf! This thing can't even talk!"

Alan Grant suddenly appeared with a loud BAM! "Hiya."

Everyone just stared in silence at him.

"What?" He asked, feeling puzzled.

"What are you doing here!" Sheena snarled.

"Oh, I'm the dude against you."

"Oh..."

Awkward silence...

"Can I leave now?" Lloyd asked.

"No," said Ziggy. "You have to stay here...forever."

"Forever?"

"And ever and ever and ever and ever-"

"What if I have to go to the bathroom?"

Kvar banged a rock against the desk. "ORDER! Hah, I love ordering people around."

"For a first," Kratos muttered.

"Where's your lawyer?" Kvar asked, obviously not hearing Kratos' statement.

The party glanced at each other and shrugged.

"Pika pika!" Pikachu jumped up on the desk and grinned cutely.

The party except Colette and Yuan glared at it at once, as if its mere presence was enough to get it killed. Colette just squealed. "It's so cute! Let's name it pookie!"

"Chosen," Kratos said. "It's name is Pikachu."

"But I like-"

"PIKACHU!"

Colette shut up. Finally. Kvar looked over his table thing at the party.

"So that's your lawyer."

"NO!" Everyone shouted quickly except Colette and Yuan.

"Good!" Kvar clapped his hands together. "Now! Um...you people, call up your lawyer...or something. Ready, go!"

Grant moves forward. "Um, these guys...did something mean." He sat back down. As he did, there was a murmur of agreement throughout the court.

"Pika pika! Pikachu, pi! Pika pika pi chu chaa pika!" Pikachu also sat down and the people clapped. Zelos leaned over to Sheena.

"Good speaker, eh? Ow!" The chosen rubbed his newly found red cheek and glared at the summoner. "That hurt."

"Witness!" Kvar yelled importantly...for once.

Lloyd jumped up out of his seat. "I'm a witness!"

Raine pulled him down. "Not you, Lloyd."

The boy sniffed. "I'm not important?"

"Of course you...are."

Some random guy walked up eating ice-cream. "They did it." He walked away.

"..."

Lloyd jumped up. "He's so lying!"

"Technically...he isn't," said Genis.

"Whose side are you on!" Snarled Lloyd.

Kvar banged a spoon on the desk before Genis could answer. "Order! You all violated...some law. Now I sentence you."

Kratos raised an eyebrow. "Ooookay..."

"Toooo...drum roll please..." No drum roll. "Dammit, Jerry, I'm paying you a lot to do this job." Jerry gets the hint and starts to drum roll. "Tooo...three days in an empty school."

"Hah!" Zelos laughed. "That's it? I thought it would be...oh...crap."

"IF! You can survive the depths of despair of the dreaded maze and prison of the school of DOOM!" Kvar shouted dramatically.

Silence.

"Lots of of's," Sheena said.

"What the crap was that!" Zelos said.

"I'd say it's Kvar on sugar," Kratos answered, giving the chosen a nasty glare.

"You go to the school...right now!" Kvar shouted again and raised his right hand and banged the table with a sandwich.

"Is this really how a court goes?" Asked Raine, I guess to me.

_No._

A pencil that was sticking to the ceiling cause Ziggy was throwing them suddenly fell and hit Magnius in the head. "Ow! Vermin!"

"YAY!" Everyone cheered.

"Hello?" Kvar said. "Right now!"

The party grumbled as they again squished into the car after walking outside. From outside the car, this is probably what it sounded like as it drove off.

"I hate this damn car," Lloyd said quite randomly since we all know that.

"We all know that," Genis said.

"Quit copying the authoress!" Zelos snarled at the half-elf.

"Not my fault great minds think alike!"

Good boy Genis.

"Hah, yeah right. You're just saying that cause you don't want to get hurt in this story."

"I...I...damn you!"

"Ahhahahah-OW!"

"That's what you get!"

"Genis! Apologize right now!"

"Okay, Raine. I'm sorry Zelos." (Cough)

"Little brat, c'mere!"

"Ow ow ow ow!"

"Zelos!"

"Sheena, wait! Don't!"

WHACK!

"OW! SONNAVA-THAT HURT!"

"Hahahahah! You deserved that!"

"Stupid brat!"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Look! Butterflies!"

"Great Colette. Now move so I can kill the brat."

"Oh! Please don't hurt him!"

"I won't hurt him THAT much..."

"Okay! You're so nice Zelos!"

"Ahhhhhhh! Get away from me!"

"Stupid children."

"You know you love us, Kratos."

"Not you, philanderer, don't touch me!"

"Whoa! Stop, you'll burn the damn car!"

"Hmph."

"I have a magic potion that can turn someone into what ever the other person desires!"

Long silence.

"Raine! Where did you get that!"

"I made it, Genis."

"Cool! Let me try!"

"No bad Zelos! Keep away!"

"Give it, professor! Alright, Lloyd! C'mere!"

"Wh-what?" POOF! "Ferret ferret?"

"...You turned Lloyd into a ferret!"

"Good job, Regal."

"Why thank you Genis."

"I was being sarcastic."

"...Oh...okay then! Who wants to hear about my company?"

"NOOOOOO!"

All of you shut up! Ahem...yeah. The car drove to the school of doom. What a crappy chapter ending.

Jet: That was a crappy ending.

Suzu: Ran out of ideas.

Lloyd: I am a ferret! NOOOO!

Suzu: The party are starting to go OOC, aren't they? And Yuan didn't say anything this whole chapter. Weird. Could be good in some cases.

Yuan: Hey! That was mean!

Zelos: ...

Suzu: Fine! (Gives back his voice using remote)

Zelos: YAY! I CAN SPEAK!

All: (Glares at Suzu)

Suzu: Meep. Anyway...um...please review! Things are getting a little crazy. Oh and this is the order for the car ride at the end, if you needed it, cause it seems kinda confusing.

(After Zelos says to stop copying the authoress)

Genis–Zelos–Genis–Zelos–Genis–Raine–Genis–Zelos–Genis–Sheena–Zelos–Zelos–Genis–Zelos–Genis–Colette–Zelos–Colette–Zelos–Colette–Genis–Kratos–Zelos–Kratos–Zelos–Kratos–Raine–Genis–Raine–Zelos–Raine–Zelos–Lloyd–Regal–Genis–Regal–Genis–Regal–everyone but Colette and Yuan.

Jet: As if that isn't confusing enough...

Suzu: I hope I entertained you all! Stay tuned for the next chapter!


	5. We need rules!

Suzu: ZzZzZzZzZzZz...

Jet: OI! SUZU! THE NEXT CHAPTER IS STARTING!

Suzu: Gah! (Falls out of hammock) You jerk! What did you have to scream in my ear for!

Jet: Cause this new chapter is starting. And you are the host, NOT ME!

Suzu: Stop screaming! I get it! (Hem hem) Welcome back! I bet you are all ecstatic to be here. Thank you all my lovely reviewers, you make me feel happy in writing my humorous...random fic. So...let's respond! Cause responding is fun!

Streek-has-returned471–I'm getting to it, of course. He'll probably get killed like that so it may not be for long...I need at least _one _annoying person...other than Colette.

Ryu Warrior–Nope say no more. Well, keep reviewing. You live in Japan? Nifty! Wait till you see when they are stuck in school...the longest three days of their lives...ferret!

MoonBloodLunatic–You mean the "I've got it, healer" joke? Make Regal use Healer and listen to what he says, I think he says "I've got it" or "I have it" or something. Though I rarely use Regal...X3 Thanks for reviewing, and enjoy this new chapter.

Nameless–Tis good tis good? Domo arigato! (Bows back) Enjoy this new chapter!

Suzu: More announcements, I'm gonna have to change Yuan back soon. I know you guys love it, and so do I but...I need him! X3 He's important and needed to bring hell on everyone. So one of these chapters he'll be back.

Lloyd: A_hem._

Suzu: Oh, yeah, and Lloyd back too...eventually.

Mr DD: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

Party: (Clap clap)

Suzu: Do the stupid disclaimer like the last four chapters!

Mr DD: These three don't own ToS, nor the world, nor the evil school of DOOM! Poor them. We're thinking of going to an auction though...

Jet: Shhh, secrecy!

Ziggy: Wish I was owned by Namco.

Zelos: ON WITH THE FIC!

Kratos: Inferior being.

Zelos: Hey, I'm proud of my voice.

Kratos: If I was talking about your voice I would have said "inferior voice of the idiotic chosen".

Zelos: Oh...true...hey wait-

Kratos: Touch me I kill you.

Zelos: (Lowers sword) Dammit!

Special Review! Well..nobody bothered to try. Oh well. Yeah, dumb game anyway. Oh and thank you Ryu Warrior for a great annoying saying: No Way! I already annoyed my buddies big time with that quote, I've received numerous whacks from them yelling to shut up. Heheheh, it's perfect! X3

The car was...still driving. Did you laugh yet? No? Impossible I'm losing my touch...

"Great," Genis muttered. "Another three hours of sitting in the car..."

"Actually Genis," Presea said. "We were in the car last time for a total of two hours, thirty minutes, and 35.37564 seconds." (I really did count the 35 seconds on my stop watch as I read what they said before...but punched in random numbers after that!)

"Um...right...that's what I meant..."

"Hahah!" Zelos sneered. "She's smarter than you!"

"Why you little..."

"I wouldn't talk!"

"Good, don't talk!"

"That's not what I meant, idiot."

Yuan was busy playing with the window (which I do a lot...-.-) by pressing the button and moving the window up and down before Kratos finally hauled him away.

"Ferret ferret!" Ferreted Lloyd, sitting on Zelos' head...for some odd reason, as Zelos tried repeatedly to catch him and throw him off, yet Lloyd always avoided him by scurrying around his back.

"Ferret Lloyd is right," Raine said. "We should plan on how we are going to stay alive being in this school place, no food or water."

"I concur. (Give you three guesses who said this) We shouldn't approach this recklessly."

"I know!" Zelos said with an awful sneer to Genis. "Let's _have_ Genis _for _dinner!"

"That's so nice of you-HEY!" The half-elven boy shouted, getting what Zelos really meant at the last second.

"It's not like we are on a deserted island or something," Sheena said. "I'm sure they'll leave us food...right?"

The party looked at each other and sighed. "Doubt it," all of them chorused.

"Look!" Yuan said, pointing out the window. Immediately the party looked in that direction. Gullible suckers. "HAHAH! MADE YOU LOOK!" Yuan laughed for a while before suddenly falling asleep on Kratos' lap. Awww, kawaii! Doesn't it make you wanna hug him?

"That was quick," Sheena said, frowning.

"Little brat, outta teach him a lesson..." Genis grumbled.

Zelos felt the need to torture the half-elf. "I sense irony here..."

"Look!" Kratos said. "There's the school."

The party were all hesitant to turn around as Kratos pointed. They stayed in this position for a while till Kratos screamed "TURN AROUND AND LOOK BEFORE I SMITE YOU ALL!" Quickly they turned...and saw...the school. A crappy one at that, but big. Very big. And dark.

"Excellent description," Sheena said.

_I know, right?_

The car pulled to a sharp stop, and the party were all flung off the seat into the window in front of them that separated the front seat from the back, thanks to inertia again! Fear the inertia! Anyway, they groaned and couldn't open the door, so the cop had to get out muttering something about laziness and opened the door. The party scrambled out and stretched.

"FREEDOM!" Zelos yelled triumphantly...like he's made an accomplishment or something.

"What are you talking about?" Countered Raine sharply. "We're about to be trapped in a school for three days without escape or refreshments."

"But still...FREEDOM!" Zelos yelled again before getting smacked by Sheena...again. "Ooow!"

"Can't you shut up for one minute?" She snarled.

"...no...oww!" Zelos whined, still holding his poor head as he received his second smack.

"I guess we should go inside," Regal said.

Colette nodded shortly. "I guess we should."

There was a short silence.

"MOVE IT!" The cop screamed, and the party jumped and ran for the door, swung it open, and slipped inside. They slammed the door shut and heard it click, a few minutes passed, and heard another click of the door locking. Then a few minutes later the engine rumbled and the car drove away. Kratos broke the silence.

"Remind me again why we ran."

The party all looked at each other, unable to come up with a good answer, so just shrugged. They took the time to observe their surroundings, and it wasn't pretty. It was pretty damp, old, and dark, peelings walls and cracked floors. The school was two floors. All the windows were locked and boarded, the doors that led outside were the same. It seemed almost...haunted.

They found a light switch that turned on most of the lights of the halls. It seemed a little less spooky. A little. Not a lot. A little.

"Nice place," Zelos grumbled, still annoyed with the bump he received from Sheena on his head. "Grab a blanket and we'll have a picnic."

"You want to have a picnic here?" Colette said to Zelos, with a hint of disgust in her voice. Zelos didn't feel like answering her, but he did anyway.

"No, you dutz, I was being cynical."

"Ferret ferret? Ferret ferret ferret? Ferret?" (Translation–Cynical? What's that mean? Is it a fruit?)

Raine sighed. "No, Lloyd. Cynical means sarcastic."

Genis suppressed an outburst of laughter. "Even as a ferret Lloyd's still an idiot."

Ferret Lloyd jumped forward in furry to scratch the living hell out of Genis, but he missed cause his aim just sucks. Instead he focused on scratching Regal, who began running throughout the halls screaming "HOLY NAME OF MARTEL ARE LIVES ARE STAR CROSSED!"

The rest of the party, however, completely ignored them and focused on their situation.

"So stuck here with limited food and the fountains for water is the situation," Sheena said.

"You forgot the three days part, that's important," Zelos said, receiving yet another smack. "OW! Stop doing that!"

"Can't, it's fun."

"We should set up rules to survive," Kratos said, after laying the sleeping Yuan down against the wall close to them, acting like they can really die from this. Oh wait...they can. Never mind.

"Good idea," Raine concurred, grabbing some paper off of a desk and a pencil from the teacher's desk. "Give me ideas and I'll write them down."

Colette grinned. "Hate the sin, not the sinner!"

"N-no, Colette, that's not what I mean."

Genis sneered. "Red haired Chosens are forced to be our slaves."

Zelos laughed like the moron he is. "Hahahah, that's...wait...that would include me...c'mere you!" The Chosen pounced on Genis and the two started to fight, forming a giant dust cloud. Meanwhile, Regal is still running around screaming as Lloyd mauled his face in the background, yelling stuff I don't even know.

"Anyway," Sheena said over other half of the party yelling and fighting and screaming and other things in those categories. "We should make these rules and tack them on the wall."

After about an hour and a half...

Genis and Zelos had stopped fighting, as they used up all their strength and couldn't continue anymore. Lloyd was peeled off of Regal by Kratos, who was the only one brave enough to go near them. Yuan was still out like a light. Based on the light from the window between the planks, it was getting dark. Did that last sentence make sense? Read it again till it doesn't. Now that sentence didn't make sense either...anyway...

"First day was over fast," said Sheena, leaning up against the wall. The party was waiting outside of the classroom for Raine to finish writing their "ideas" for rules.

"Well, it wasn't our first day, really," said Kratos, sitting on the floor reading some book that he stole from the room. "This'll be our first night. Then our real days of punishment start."

"What do you mean?" Genis said from laying on the floor, all bloody and bruised as Raine didn't get to heal any of them yet.

He pointed at a calender. "We are here for three days. Today was only the night of the first day. So they probably won't count it. After that we stay here till midnight of the last day. Comprende?"

They all just stared at him for a while, then in unison they said "oooooooh!"

"What's taking her so long!" Zelos whined. "I'm hurting here!"

"My pretty face," Regal whimpered, face all scratchy and...mauled-like.

"Heal yourself," Kratos mumbled.

"Hey wait, can't you heal us?" Zelos said, the thought just hitting him.

Kratos looked at the chosen. "No," he said simply.

"Well thanks a lot!"

"No problem," Kratos said smoothly, going back to his book that he sto-ahh-borrowed.

A half an hour passes again...what's with me and half an hours? Weird.

"I'm finished," Raine announced, coming out with a long list and a pencil behind her ear. The party jump to their feet, even the wounded ones as Kratos finally healed them when they continued to whine.

The party read the rules now tacked on the bulletin board, and they all frowned.

"These are bull crap, Raine," Zelos said, receiving two slaps from Sheena and Raine. "Ow! Ow!"

On the paper it read...oh I bet you're dying to read them huh? Be patient...

**Rules for the three days we are stuck together in some school of doom.**

1–Try not to kill each other. We might need everyone's certain powers.

2–No using magic to burn the building to a crisp. This means you, Genis, Yuan, Kratos, and Zelos.

3–Sacrifices are not allowed except under certain circumstances.

4–Only cook a limited amount of food. Fountains are used for water.

5–Avoid any chainsaw killing murderers, they are bad bad people.

6–Don't talk to strangers.

7–Don't do drugs. Drinks are limited...if you can find beer.

8–Leave any dead bodies you find where they are. Spray them with good smelly spray stuff.

9–Anyone turned into chibis, ferrets, or shrunk past their normal size should be used with care.

10–No ordering pizza. We don't have money.

11–Only Raine and Sheena can smack Genis, Lloyd, and Zelos unless it's really necessary.

12–Return whatever random object you find back to its original position.

13–Leave all mice alone. This goes for other animals too.

14–Everyone regards me, Raine, as the leader, and Kratos shall be my co-leader. Yuan will too if he turns back.

"Raine you are aware nobody is going to follow these rules," Genis said.

"All this stuff..." Kratos looked at it closely. "None of this is foreshadowing right?"

Riane looked hesitant. "No..."

"The hell? Get hit only by you two girls! No way!" Zelos shouted, as Genis was busy scribbling under number 14 a number 15 with a pen, reading "Don't let any girls cook" and a number 16 saying "Only follow these rules when under Raine's supervision".

"You'll live with it." Sheena grinned as Zelos whimpered.

Yuan randomly woke up. "I like pants!" He ran inside the science room and loud sounds are heard, like this.

SMASH! CLUNK! POOF! Groan...AHHHHH!

"Um..." Kratos said. "Maybe we should go help him..."

That was necessary as Yuan bursted out of the room, as an adult. Ahh! He's back!

"What the crap! That damn table was in my way!"

The party blinked. "Yuan?"

"What!" Yuan was fuming, glaring at the party. Yup he's back to his old self.

"Good he's back," Genis sighed.

"Good? How's that good?" Zelos looked at the half-elf as if Genis was insane.

"Chosen," Yuan grumbled. "Go clean up that mess."

"No way! You do it! You made it!"

"So? I'm older than you."

"...That's not fair! You're older than all of us!"

Suddenly Mithos appears out of nowhere. Yay, Mithos!

"Hey, Mithos," the party chorused.

"Sup, guys?" Mithos said, with a short salute.

"Oh you're back," Kratos said, not bothering keeping the sarcasm out of his voice.

"Hell yeah! So...what are you all doing here?"

"I could ask the same question," Yuan said.

"Well I asked it first!"

So the party told him everything. Actually, Colette told him every little detail while the rest of the party did something completely different.

As Colette droned on, the party member slowly drifted away and found some sort of entertainment. The four angels, being stupid as always, or smart just no common sense, found the lab room. Seeing chemicals...yeah imagine the four faces light up with joy, even Ferret Lloyd's. Anyway, not taking notice of the four angels, Raine and Sheena found some cards and began to play Asshole. Ah, hell, that's a fun game. Regal was just taking a walk (boring guy) while Genis and Presea were talking a rather amusing and pathetic conversation. It went like this.

"Colette is taking a rather long time," said Presea.

"Yeah!" Genis agreed quickly. "Yeah, she is!"

Presea blinked. "Did we do a lot here? We were not here for long."

Genis fumbled for a correct answer, or an answer he though sounded correct...and handsome-like...and manly...who knew what was going through Genis' head? Hell the thought "I like icecream" could be going through his head. But, knowing Genis, he was looking for Presea to like him.

"I...I don't think we did!" Genis said, in a loud voice of nervousness, which made him embarrassed.

It didn't seem that Presea noticed, or cared. "I see," she said in her monotone voice. "It doesn't seem this world is right for us, do you agree?"

"Yes! Absolutely! Not right for us!"

"Genis?" Presea blinked, perplexed in just taking notice of Genis' nervously but not knowing what it means. "Are you okay?"

"YES!" Genis lied, now drenched in sweat and shaking with nervousness.

Presea blinked again. "Okay...Hey Genis..."

"Y-yes Presea?"

She giggled. "May I snuggle against you?"

Dead silence. It's a mystery how Genis didn't scream with joy.

"O-okay!" He stuttered out, allowing Presea to snuggle close to him. He was now brick red with blushing, but felt a lot calmer. Awww, Gesea moment! So sweet...

However, there wasn't much else love going around. Let's see what our favorite four angels are doing, huh? Ho ho, this should be rather interesting...

"Dammit, Zelos! Don't pour the friggin acid on me!"

"Heh, sorry Yuan, you just look really funny-"

"I do not! Argh it BURNS DAMMIT!"

Zelos can't control himself as he starts laughing uncontrollably...and quickly regains control as Yuan shoots a lightning bolt at him, missing the Chosen by inches.

"I wonder what they do with all these chemicals," Kratos said, observing the filled bottles with interest.

"Study them maybe?" Yuan said sarcastically. "We are in a school..."

"Acid? What's so fascinating about acid? And what the hell is this?" Kratos reads the label. "H...two...O...H2O? What the hell is H2O?"

Yuan shrugged. "I dunno." He grabbed the bottle. "Hey, chosen c'mere."

"Yeah?" Like the dimwit he is, Zelos walked over. Unscrewing the bottle Yuan grabbed Zelos' hair, forcing his head back, and jammed the bottle almost down his throat.Zelos coughed and choked, crumbling to the floor holding his neck with both hands.

"We killed the chosen," Kratos said. However, he lied without knowing it. Wouldn't that be cool? Anyway, Zelos stopped squirming and stood up, looking pissed.

"Yuan! You friggin burned my throat and nose! That almost came out of my nose, dammit!"

"So what is it?" The half-elf asked curiously.

"Tis water, you idiot," Zelos answered, sniffing and snorting bitterly as his throat and nose were burning. Ever had water poured down your throat against your will? It's not a pleasant experience. If you did...you know what I'm talking about.

"So we drowned you," Kratos said, Lloyd sitting on his head.

"Cool!" Yuan said, spinning around. "I wonder what the rest of this stuff is? Can't be to dangerous."

His hand skimmed the shelves as he brought down a bottle. Written on it was a strange mixture. Unfortunately I am awful at Chemistry, so I don't know what it is. Something liquidly. Yay. What I do know is...it's not something you would want to drink.

"This looks appetizing," the Renegade leader said.

Zelos snorted, still very mad and his throat and nose still burned. "Charmed," he said sarcastically.

"Here drink it."

"No way!" (LOL there's the saying)

"Drink it, dammit! I'm curious to see if it'll kill ya."

Zelos backed up as Yuan advanced. "Likewise."

"C'mon, drink up, I'm a scientist and you have-"

His sentence was cut off, as Zelos turned to run...right into a wall. Actually, it was more like the closet door, but a wall's a wall. It was pretty damn solid. He twitched and broke away from the door dizzily, falling back into Kratos' arms. Yuan didn't have time to chug the life killing stuff down the chosen's throat, as the closet door clicked.

The three head's shot up, looking alertly at the door. The handle twitched and turned down, the door pushing forward. It was like...some type of horror movie or something. The four, however, never saw a scary movie before, not like it mattered much. Lloyd, ah, Lloyd was just sitting lazily on Kratos' head, not noticing the creepy, noisy, in-need-of-oil door opening.

The door swung fully open, and the three gasped in surprise, not really scared anymore.

What are they looking at? Wait till the next chapter. Muwahahahah! (Cackles evilly Mithos-style)

Jet: When's the axe murderer coming, I wanna see some violence.

Suzu: Bug off, I'm trying to draw this out.

Jet: Riiight.

Suzu: Yeah! Anyway...any good, faithful reviewers? I know, it's been awhile, and I'm sorry for taking so long...stupid parents, you get a C in History and your computer is thrown out the window...

Jet: Don't forget math.

Suzu: Shut up.

Jet: Any announcements?

Suzu: Of course! Hem hem, yeah I didn't get to shrinking Zelly. Damn. Sorry bout that, but he's kinda necessary right now, and may be shrunken later in the story.

Zelos: Happy me.

Suzu: Aren't you? Also...eheheheh ain't I evil, I left you all a cliffy! Muwahahah! (Dodges a bunch of random things thrown at her)

Lloyd: Grr, Yuan was turned back and I'm still a ferret! What the hell!

Yuan: I was a kid longer than you were a ferret. So quit whining.

Mithos: (In singsong voice) I'm in the story! I'm in the story!

Kratos: We're ecstatic.

Suzu: Little bit of Gesea fluff there, eh? I'm sooo talented at writing romance fics...

Party: (Look at each other and start laughing uncontrollably)

Suzu: Shut up! Indignation! (Whoa, I spelled that right on my first try!)

Party: Oooh...shit! (All are KOed)

Suzu: Heheheheh. So please R&R. Oh wait, you already read. Please &R.

Jet: Dude, that's lame.

Suzu: Tis not! And...what's going to happen to our heros? Did they run into someone or something they really didn't want to find, or something else? Well, what sucks is I can't answer so you'll just have to wait! Thanks for reading, good night!

Jet: It's 5:00 in the afternoon.

Suzu: ...don't contradict me! (Slaps him)

Jet: Ooowww...


	6. Run away!

Suzu: Weeee're baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

Jet: Whee.

Suzu: You sound excited.

Jet: (dazed) Am I?

Suzu: Don't wait any longer! Chapter 6 is here!

Ziggy: Well it took you long enough.

Suzu: Sorry, but school is over, and I'm FREE!

Jet: You've been out for weeks.

Suzu: Shhhhhh...

Jet: Just respond.

Suzu: Undoubtably! (Jumps to computer) Good reviews to me!

MoonBloodLunatic AKA Peaches–Oo I can't write yaoi. I can probably do the Kratos/Lloyd thing...I'm glad you like it, anyway!

MoonBloodLunatic–I feel loved!

Lil'Edthehacker40–Yay for water! Don't constipate, here's a new chapter.

SnowCrystal–(Evil laugh) Yeeeeeees.

Nameless–Nah, studying won't pressure their survival except maybe Lloyd's. Just wait to see what the evil thing is inside the closet...Muwhahahaah!

Darkangel–I know it's hylarious.

Luciado–YAY FOR BJ! My favorite song of his is Italian Restaurant. He's AWESOME!

Jet: You can too write yaoi.

Suzu: (Shudders) Don't get me started, shorty.

Jet: Why you-!

Suzu: Look flying pineapples!

Jet: ARGH! ...hey wait a minute-look lawyers!

Suzu: NOOOOOOO! (Dives under table)

Jet: (Cracks up)

Suzu: Stupid SOB.

Zelos: FICCY BEGIN NOW!

Suzu: Whoa whoa, wait, we still need the disclaimer.

Mr. DD: I'm high on MORphine!

Suzu: Erm...right...maybe someone else should do the disclaimer...

Mr DD: Nonsense! I'm perfectly not not alright! Hahah, double negative!

Suzu: Um...

Ian: I so have a copy right on that!

Mr DD: No ToS Suzu own Jet and! Er, ToS own Jet and Suzu no! Um, No Suzu and Jet Tos own?

Jet: Ugh, close enough.

Zelos: MAY THE FICCY BEGIN!

WARNING. There will be language and violence in this chapter just like every other chapter. Just thought you'd like to know. If you are prone to motion sickness or tight spaces, read at your own risk. We will not be held accountable. However, if you hate the Colette and Regal-bashing, you can totally blame it on us. We are good like that. Have a nice day.

Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak...

The door is still opening. Kratos is glancing at his watch every five minutes, Yuan is scratching his head in annoyance, and Zelos is throwing a bottle to himself. Ferret Lloyd...uh, he's being a ferret?

Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak...creeeeeeeeeeak...creeeeak...creak...BOOM!

The four jumped as the door banged open. Inside was...was...WAS...

A teacher.

"What the crap?" Zelos said.

"It's a teacher," Kratos observed.

"He looks dead to me," Yuan said.

"Everyone looks dead to you," Zelly snapped back.

The teacher did looked brutally mauled and beaten. But he was breathing. So when your breathing you're usually alive.

"See? Told you he was alive."

Yuan glared at the chosen. "You never said that."

"I know!"

Silence.

"Just move before I fry you," The Renegade leader snarled, pushing Zelos aside and walking towards the teacher. "Hey, you alive? No? Good, we have meat tonight-"

"YUAN!" The other two boomed.

"What?" Yuan finally realized his comment. "Hey I didn't mean to say that! Suzu made me!"

_Sure, right, blame it on me._

"Help...me..."

The four angels looked up at the teacher. He barely moved his lips, eyes barely opening. "Help..."

"Fine," Kratos said, though he didn't really feel like it. "Healing Stream!"

Magically the magic (A/N: ...) healed the teacher, along with everyone else for no apparent reason.

"I'M SAVED!" The teacher cheered and did a scary dance.

"Don't make me kill you again!" Yuan snarled, covering his eyes.

"Who are you?" Kratos asked.

"My name is...um...Tom," the teacher answered.

Kratos raised an eyebrow. "Why did you hesitate?"

"I, uh...I forgot my name for a second!"

Though it was REALLY OBVIOUS that Tom was lying, everyone believed him anyway.

Of course.

"Nice to meet you Tom! Now come meet our friends!" Zelos said, since normally Lloyd would say something like this...yet he's a ferret.

So the five walked out to see that Colette was done talking to Mithos, who was sleeping peacefully against the wall (A/N: Peacefully...yeah right). Colette was walking in a circle staring at the ceiling fan. Presea and Genis were snuggling (insert heart here!). Raine was busy memorizing the rules, and Regal was still taking his stupid walk. Sheena was now playing Solitaire by herself. I think that's everybody. Yeah.

"HEY!" Zelos yelled. "WE FOUND A NEW FRIEND!"

"Don't have to yell, Zelos," Raine said. "We're right here."

"Oh sorry, didn't see you."

"Hiya! My name is Tim."

Kratos blinked. "You said Tom."

"Right, Tom, what did I say?"

Kratos mumbled something, eyes flashing a look of "I don't believe you".

The whole group walked over, grinning a greeting. "Hi Tim/Tom!" They chorused.

"Hi! Now...Let's play a...game!"

"Game?" They chorused again, which was getting kinda scary...

"Yes!" Tom nodded. "Play the 'walk into the room by yourself with me in it' game!"

Genis frowned. "I never heard of that..."

"It'll be fun! C'mon!" He ran into the science room again. They heard the loud rumble of a chainsaw. Of course, they wouldn't know what it was.

"What was that?" Sheena asked.

"Nothing! Just come on!"

"Wait!" Kratos said. "Don't go. That sound is familiar..."

Suddenly Mithos woke up. "I know that sound! It's a chainsaw!"

"Chainsaw?" The group looked puzzled.

_It's a dangerous weapon with a chain and blades that cuts off your head, mostly._

"When were you planning on telling us?" Yuan snarled.

_Um...soon?_

"Dammit! My secret is exposed!" 'Tom' ran out with the chainsaw in his hands.

Yuan scoffed. "Nice secret."

"Now I'll cut you all in two! BUWAHAHAH!"

"Ferret ferret!" (So you really aren't our friend, Tom, are you?)

The party all sighed. "No, Lloyd," Kratos said.

"Ferret! FERRET!" (You deceived us! DIE!) Lloyd hopped forward and began to maul Tom's face. Tom screamed like a little girl and ran around trying to pull him off. The rest just stood in silence watching for a bit.

"GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" Tom grabbed Lloyd and threw him at Zelos. The chosen didn't bother trying to catch him, so Lloyd collided with Zelos and plopped to the ground, twitching.

"That was mildly entertaining," Kratos said.

"That was cool!" Genis said. "Do it again!"

"Ughhh..." Tom groaned.

There was a silence.

"PLOT HOLE!" The party yelled.

_Dammit._

"Well we could run," Raine suggested.

"Perfect idea!" Regal concurred.

"Yeah..." Yuan blinked. "Maybe like...now?"

The party bolted. Figures. They can save the world but can't beat one man. Oh, right, they don't have weapons or magic. Heh, forgot. (Scribbles reminder on her hand)

"Where did they go?" Tom asked. Moron. He walked in a circle for a while. "I can't find them!" He wailed.

"ACHOO!"

"Hello?"

"...shit."

Tom walked towards a closet and pulled it open to find...nothing. "Oh well, must be imagining things." As he slammed the door shut and walked away, we see in the darkness (aren't we amazing we can see in the dark!) Genis hanging behind a coat.

"Whew...that was close..."

As he got down the door slammed open again. "AH HAH!" Tom yelled, pointing at the half elf.

"...DAMN ME!"

Tom plucked the half elf up and under his arm. "I have a hostage! I have a hostage!" He chanted in song, a scary song that he just made up off the top of his head. It went like this: lalalalalala etc. I bet THAT helped, didn't it? I like helping people.

Over to Raine and Regal. To bad for Raine, she got stuck with Regal. Let's all point and laugh at her, HAHAH!

"Regal, listen up. If that chainsaw man comes and finds us, I'll use you as bait, okay?"

"...I don't think-"

"Of course your don't. Now say 'that's a good plan, Professor.'."

"That's a good plan Professor."

"Goooood puppy."

No it's not flirting. It's controlling. Welcome to humor, guys! X3

Over to Mithos and Colette. Don't know how THEY got together. Oh well. Fate works out I guess. Oh that's right, _I _put them together. Heheh...

"We are gonna die!" Mithos whispered. They were hiding under a desk. Nice hiding spot, he won't find you at all.

"Don't worry, Mithos I'll protect you!" Colette gave him her classic yet stupid little smile. It was like this. :D ...what a dutz.

"Thanks, Colette. You revised my planning of throwing you out if Tom comes in here."

"How nice of you, Mithos." :D

"...but I still hate you."

"That's okay, Mithos." :D (This annoying you yet? It is for me.)

Right then and there Tom walked in with Genis.

"Never mind," Mithos said, grabbing Colette by her shoulders and was about to push her out. However, though we all could SWORE he looked right at the two angels, he turned around and walked out. Mithos blinked and pushed her anyway so she fell right on her face.

"They got Genis!" :D

"Uh, Colette you can not be so happy about it..."

"Oh...they got Genis!" :O

"Uh, better..."

:D

Uh...over to our favorite four angels. Oh, shit, I forgot Presea. Well, to make things short, she is sitting in the closet directly next to where Genis was. Don't ask why there are two closets next to each other. This school is weird. That's why it was dubbed the "Weird School". Anyway...

"..Remind me again why we always follow each other."

Yuan shrugged. "Maybe we trust each other more than anyone else, Kratos."

"Flattered."

"I would like to know," Zelos said, squirming a little. "Why we picked the smallest closet in the damn school to hid three men and a ferret."

Yuan snarled. "It wouldn't be so uncomfortable if you stopped moving like that!"

"Well, I need to breath after a few minutes!"

"Stupid humans..."

It was true. These four found themselves the smallest janitor closet they could find. Not only that, but there were brooms and mops and buckets and other stuff that were in their way. Why they picked it is unknown. They just did. Tough.

"And Lloyd get out of my hair!" Zelos snarled, picking up the ferret and throwing him. Lloyd flew and landed...lip to lip with Kratos.

Everyone, right now, GROAN. EW.I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks.

Kratos damn near fainted. But he was brought back to life when the ferret began to change. Anndd...BAM! Lloyd was back.

"I'M BACK! AND I'M FULL!" Lloyd screamed at the top of his lungs.

"This is so not cool," Zelos muttered as now they were MORE squished.

"Lloyd!" Yuan muttered. "You're NOT supposed to come back yet!"

"...I'm not?"

"No! Oh well, eh Kratos? Uh...Kratos?"

Instead of just passing out, Kratos was instead having a mini heart attack.

"Oh...shhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttt," Yuan said.

"Oh, come on Dad, I wasn't THAT bad."

This sentence didn't really help the matter. It just made Kratos have seizures.

"I think he's dying," Zelos said. It was just a LITTLE obvious, but hey. You need obvious statements. For oblivious people. Heheh, obvious and oblivious. They almost look alike.

"I'm okay," Kratos said randomly, and was perfectly alright with his serious glare back. Quick recovery. For being kissed by Lloyd.

"Now you know how awful it is to be kissed by another guy," Zelos said bitterly.

Yuan blinked. "You were kissed by a guy before?"

"Uhhhhhh...DON'T JUDGE ME!"

"Is someone in there?" Came Tom's voice from the other side of the door.

"Uh...no?" Yuan called back.

"Fair enough." Tom walked away. "Wait a minute!" He opened the door. "HEY!"

"Meep," the four said in unison.

"Now I have FIVE captives! Arrrh!" Tom said, sounding like a pirate.

"Don't pass Go, don't collect 200 dollars!" Zelos said.

Tom blinked. "What?"

Being already confused, Zelos punched the chainsaw killer right in the chin. Tom tumbled backwards and let Genis go. Instantly the five bolted to find someplace else to hide. Stupid enough, they won't split up.

"I think we should split up-" Genis said before being cut off by Yuan.

"Shut up we know what we're doing."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. What could go wrong?"

At that moment they came to a dead end.

"Aw, snap."

"Good job Yuan," Kratos muttered.

"Shut up."

They turned to see Tom down the hall, revving up the chainsaw. "C'mere, bitches..." He said, being all Leatherface-like. Spooky. "It's elimination time!" (I do not own Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Nough said.)

"Now what," Zelos said.

"We get chopped into little pieces?" Kratos suggested.

"Noo!" Genis wailed, going into his crybaby state. "I don't WANNA become mincemeat!"

"Well, tough!" Yuan snarled. "We are all in the same position as you!"

Genis just hiccupped. Who can blame the little guy, I'd be scared too.

"I'm gonna kill you all," Tom said, coming forward.

"Oh yeah?" Zelos taunted. "Well, you try that! How bout if I throw a penny at you? How's that?"

The chosen threw a penny at Tom's head. It made a small dent...but that was it.

"Ow..." Tom groaned. "That hurt! You didn't have to do that!"

"Well...I kinda did...I mean you were about to kill us..."

"How could you!" Tom wailed and ran away crying. An odd and awkward silence followed as everyone just gapped. A dust ball of hay like is western movies or something flew by.

"That was weird," Yuan said.

"Now he'll defiantly want to kill us," Kratos pointed out.

"You just HAD to throw the penny at him, didn't you Zelos!" Lloyd snarled at the Chosen as if he did something wrong.

"Hey I just saved all your worthless lives!" Zelos snapped back. "You should be on your knees thanking me!"

Genis picked up the penny. "This little thing must hurt a lot. Look it even has little ridges. Damn, this is a nasty sucker."

Everyone looked at Genis oddly. The half elven boy blushed.

"EEEEEEEEKKKK!"

"That was Raine!" Genis said.

"Oh no! The professor!"

Genis blinked. "Lloyd? How did..." He noticed Kratos' face pale slightly. "Uh, never mind I don't want to know."

Lloyd grinned like a moron. "Me and Dad had to kiss!"

The mage covered his ears. "I said I didn't want to know!"

Kratos actually blushed and held his face, his hand covering his eye under his bangs (like in the Z skits). Hear that? He is actually blushing. BLUSHING. Kawaii!

"Aren't we forgetting something?" Yuan said suddenly, looking up from his video camera for black- ...memories.

"EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!" Raine's scream is heard again only louder.

"Oh yeah, Raine," Genis said, as if he forgot. Well, actually...he did.

"Oh no! The professor!" Lloyd repeated.

"I guess this means we have to save her," Kratos muttered.

The five went to find Professor Raine and save her from her whatever fate she is...suffering from. And surprisingly enough, you didn't really get to see any blood this chapter. NO BLOOD FOR YOU! MUWAHAHAH!

Suzu: Fin!

Jet: (reading a manga) Huh, is it over?

Suzu: It seems.

Jet: Good then. (Continues reading)

Suzu: Happy I updated? Good! Now next chapter we will kill Jet.

Jet: Yeah...wait what?

Suzu: X3 Heheheh.

Colette:D

Jet: I throughly hate you.

Colette: Hate is bad. :D

Jet: Okay, that's it. (Attacks Colette)

Colette:O

Suzu: -- Please review.


	7. Pain! Base! RaineRage?

Suzu: Helloooooooo! Wow, it hasn't been that long since updation!

Zelos: Like, a week.

Jet: Would you all be quiet. I'm busy.

Suzu: You? Busy? Now I'm curious.

Jet: Be quiet. I'm trying to concentrate.

Suzu: But what are you doing?

Jet: Playing Pellet Checkers. (Moves pellet) Hah! King me!

Kratos: I'll king you…(attacks Jet in fury)

Jet: O.o AHHHHH!

Suzu: -.- Back to the _important_ stuff. Thanks for reviewing, guys! I shall respond to my heart's desire!

Jet: AHHHHHHH! (still getting brutally mauled and beaten by Kratos)

Suzu: …

Streek-has-returned471—Oo Um…o-okay…

Art Vincent Musicanova—Yeah, Tom is an assassin. Hint, Tom isn't his real name. He doesn't have a name. Loser. And hey, a reviewer asked for Lloyd to kiss Kratos, so…I swallowed my pureness and wrote it. Ick. But in humor fics, anything can happen! Kill Regal, hmmm…good idea, even though I'm more of a "don't kill the characters but still brutally torture them" kinda girl. But I'll give it shot, since I felt so happy in the game when I got to bang him over the head with a sword.

Ryu Warrior—Glad you liked it. I can always imagine Colette's face when I make those faces. Completely clueless. Period. Yeah, and DO continue writing! Thanks for reviewing!

SnowCrystal—Hey, the Mithos/Colette part made ME laugh…at my own humor. That's pretty odd. That's like laughing when tickling yourself. ANYWAY, yeah the 4 angels are always being stupid…because they pretty much are. X3 I just love them!

Luciado—AAAAHHH! Someone knows more about BJ than ME! (starts studying about Joel's life) But anyway, I adore Billy too! XD His songs rock! I know where he came up with the songs and a bit about his life (like he married a young girl recently Oo ), though I just learned about We Didn't Start the Fire (great song, I almost have it memorized but only if I hear the tune and words). My favorite, as I said, is Italian Restaurant, with a bunch of others that are his top songs as my seconds (The Stranger, Piano Man, Entertainer, etc). I LOVE HIM! Oh and Don McLean too, and Queen.

Teddy-the-Bear—Hey, YOU try controlling her, that violent banshee! (runs from Sheena who is waving around a paper fan threateningly) O.o EEEK! Glad you liked iiiiiiittt!

Someone—I _would _kill off that moron klutz, but she's pretty necessary to tick everyone off. But…maybe I COULD and SHOULD kill her…more info on Tom in the story coming up!

Peaches—You like me? Awesome! I like you too! Hey when you ask, I try to do. I still haven't shrunk anyone. Sorry! I'm getting there. Kill Tom? Maybe. If you really wanna know…you'll find out sooner or later!

Suzu: Wow! I'm loved.

Jet: (Badly bruised and bleeding) You wish.

Suzu: Nii-chan!

Jet: Yes?

Suzu: Prepare to die!

Jet: Oo

Suzu: Kratos get him!

Kratos: Get him yourself.

Suzu: TT Kratty-chan!

Kratos: …don't call me that.

Suzu: …(cries) Waaaaah! Kratty-chan doesn't love me anymore!

Kratos: (bit taken back) Quit fake crying!

Suzu: Okay Kratty-chan.

Kratos: --

Jet: X3 I kick trees…

All: …

Jet: What? Did I say something?

All: …

Jet: (blinks) What?

All: …

Jet: Stop being so silent!

All: …

Jet: This is creeping me out…

All: …

Jet: That's it! Eruption!

All: AAHHH! (instantly KO'ed)

Jet: Well that worked. (whistles and reads some random manga)

Raine: (Walks in after being absent for…some reason) Oh Martel! What happened here?

Jet: (Casually, not looking up) Nothing.  
All: XX

Raine: (Glares) Jet…

Jet: Yes, Raine-san?

Raine: What did you do…

Jet: …nothing…

Raine: (sighs) Resurrection!

All: (Come back alive) We're alive!

Jet: Oo Uh oh.

Suzu: (Blink blink) What happened?

Jet: For the third time…nothing!

Suzu: Oh…anyway announcement! I don't like Regal or Colette. Meaning, a lot of bashing on the two. Lloyd? I like him; just he's in character. X3 Or a bit out, maybe too stupid than he is supposed to be…anyway, if I say Chosen, I'm talking about Zelos. All the time. I don't view Colette as a Chosen in this story. I don't like her. She isn't good enough to compare with Zelos. Riiiight, Zelly-chan?

Zelos: X3 Puuuuuuuuurrrrrrr…

Jet: --; Did you bewitch him?

Suzu: No. I'm just loveable.

Zelos: On with the fic!

"I wonder why the Professor is screaming?" Lloyd asked, running alongside Kratos, Yuan, Zelos, and Genis. The other four gave him a "stop-bringing-up-stupid-conversations" look.

"Maybe she's in _danger_ or something?" Genis answered sarcastically.

"I doubt it. She may be _causing_ danger," Yuan scoffed, frowning.

"Well either way…" Lloyd went into his "I'm manly!" mode. "We gotta save her!"

"Yeah!" Genis agreed blissfully while the other three grunted a response, not really wanting to meet Tim or Tom or whatever his name was. They couldn't remember, nor cared. "If she's in danger, she would need our help!"

How wrong they are. Danger? I think Raine was far from it. People near her? Yeah, that's where the danger comes in.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Raine screamed over the cowering Regal. The man had his arms in a defensive position above his head, which were now uncuffed by the way. "You idiot! That was an irreplaceable artifact from this new world! I COULD have studied it farther, if you didn't BREAK IT!"

"B-but Professor-sama," he pleaded. "It was just some clay vase that a kid made in art class-"

"NO EXCUSES!" Here comes pain. Now more screaming is heard.

"That wasn't the Professor…" Lloyd said quite obviously.

"That sounded like Regal. Maybe he's in danger too?" Genis asked.

Zelos sighed. "Probably. Let's go find some chemicals to burn holes through walls."

"Now's not the time, you stupid Chosen!"

"C'mere brat, I'll make a hole in YOU!"

"Enough!" Kratos snarled. "The sooner we find Raine, the sooner we can go our opposite ways. The best way is to travel in groups but not ALL together. If what's-his-name catches us while we are all together, we're screwed. But if we are in groups yet not everyone is together, we have a bigger chance to be rescued or escape."

"Yeah…that makes sense…" Lloyd said, though he was completely lying. He had no idea what Kratos just said. But the others did, so he went along with it. As they continued walking, Regal screamed again followed by a twisted and psycho cackle. The laugh made them all shiver for a second, giving them chills.

"I think it came from over there," Yuan said, pointing to the left. They turned the corner and ran down the hallway, passing classrooms.

"This looks like science…math…science again…" Zelos said, glancing in the classrooms as they past and getting hints on what was taught there. "history…math…art…english…whoa hold up!" Zelos skidded to a stop. The others stopped a bit ahead of him, puzzled with the surprise pausing.

"What?" Yuan said, already annoyed to past his fullest extent.

"I saw them! Back it up!" Zelos spun around on the ball of his foot and raced back, catching the frame of the door to the art room to see inside. There was Raine, who was panting with a perverse look and at her feet was a badly beaten and mauled Regal. At least, it looked like Regal.

"Geez," Zelos said, slowly walking in as the others appeared at the doorway, strangely except for Kratos, who was taking his time apparently. He crouched down and poked Regal with his index finger. "Seems this poor soul fell victim to **Raine-Rage**."

Raine towered over the crouching Chosen, who meeped in instant fear. The professor's face was twisted in fury, her eyes burning in rage. "He fell to _what,_ good Chosen?" She said, her voice strangely calm-like and shaky. Evil.

"Meep…um…Ra-"

"I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID!" Raine kicked the poor Chosen straight in the face. Zelos was flung back towards the doorway followed by a spurt of blood from his nose and mouth. The rest, who were inside now, jumped out of the way. Just as Kratos turned into the room the Chosen collided into him, and he was forced back by the force. Kratos stumbled back in confusion, and his back was flattened against the opposite wall, head smacking the concrete. Both angels groaned miserably and crumbled to the ground, Zelos' motionless body on top of Kratos' like a cross, the Chosen horizontal and the Seraphim vertical. The rest of the party, however, could have cared less, they were just happy it wasn't them. Well, except for Regal. He already got what was coming to him.

"Well two more victims of **Raine-Rage**," Lloyd said, loudly too. I guess he didn't know what happened to Zelos when HE said that…

"Of _what_, dear Lloyd?"

"Uhh…" Lloyd hid behind Yuan. "Save me!"

Raine meant to kick forward, and Yuan simply moved out of the way. Raine missed, since Lloyd held onto Yuan like a leech. This…actually calmed Raine down a little.

"What's going on?" Mithos said, walking in the door with Colette skipping behind him. "Kratos and the Chosen are laying unconscious outside the door."

"Nothing," Raine said calmly, actually smiling. "How nice, my friends came to see me."

"What happened to Regal-san!" :O Colette literally screamed, putting her hands over her mouth in a shocked expression.

"Nothing you should see Colette!" Raine screeched. "You are on a strict document of only G rated!"

"Oh okay." :D

"Hey look isn't that what's-his-name?" Lloyd said, still hanging onto Yuan's back. He was glancing back at the doorway.

Everyone looked to see the axe-murderer gathering the unconscious Kratos and Zelos. Yet they did absolutely nothing. Jeez, if my friends were getting angel-napped by a stupid axe-murderer, I would…oh right, I wouldn't do anything either. (whistles innocently)

"Hi Tom!" :D Colette waved like a moron furiously at Tom. He jumped and spun around, holding the each angel's wrist in both hands. The two dragged behind him like rag dolls.

"Um…hi."

"Hey!" Lloyd said. "Let our friends go, Todd!"

"It's TOM!"

"Whatever."

By their faces, Lloyd seemed to be the only one who was anxious to rescue Kratos and the Chosen. Yuan looked livid, annoyed with Lloyd on his back but still said nothing. Genis was staring, a creepy stare and completely blank. Raine looked like herself, yet inside evilness was twisting and turning inside her soul, flashing every so often in her eyes. Mithos could care less what happened to the others, since he tried to kill them in the first place anyway. Colette never stopped smiling, barely blinking, looking kinda uncanny. Regal? He's basically on the brink of death. Use your imagination. It will create happy dreams for you tonight.

"Anyway," Tom said. "I have to go. Mind if I borrow your friends?"

"Why?" Lloyd asked suspiciously.

"Because…because we wanna have a tea party."

"Oh Lloyd, let them have their tea party!" :O

"But…" Lloyd looked puzzled. Yuan took this moment to shoot a ball of lightning at Tom, who didn't jump out of the way in time. Screaming in pain the electricity traveled to whatever Tom was holding. This would include Kratos and Zelos.

Now with all three of them screaming, the rest of the party watched in awe. Kratos jumped to his feet with the ball of electricity surrounding the three of them and jolted his hands to the side, and the ball was canceled out.

"You jerk!" Zelos snarled, in a kneeling position behind Tom who was sprawled out on the floor with spirals for eyes, mouth open in a crazed smile. The Chosen has his hands between his knees on the cold concrete, glowering through the door at the party. Mainly at Yuan. "Why did you do that!"

"Hey I just saved your worthless life," Yuan snarled back, arms crossed and looking at Zelos like he was a spoiled potato or something.

Kratos was concentrating on healing himself and Zelos with First Aid. "So what about him?" Kratos asked half-heartedly, after the two were healed. Oops. Kratos forgot to include Regal in the healing process. Oh well, better luck next time, el presidente. (Cackles)

"We could _have_ him _for_ dinner," Zelos said, grinning evilly. Genis looked at him and shuddered, remembering what Zelos had said a couple chapters ago.

"Um…let's not and say we did," Kratos said, frowning with disgust. The chosen lowered his gaze in disappointment. Holy crap, since when was Zelos a cannibal? Oo

"We could just leave him here," Yuan offered. Go to a different area."

"Good idea! Wow, Yuan you're really smart!" Lloyd complimented with a wide and happy smile, chuckling. He placed his chin lazily on Yuan's shoulder, still grinning.

Yuan raised an eyebrow, glancing back at Lloyd without turning his head. "I thought it would be an obvious plan."

So the party all moved. They don't know where yet, but they were going in the opposite direction of the murderer, to the other side of the school.

"Who are we missing?" Raine asked, glancing over the group. Kratos and Yuan were walking ahead of them, followed by the disgruntled Chosen. Lloyd still hasn't left Yuan's back, but he was pretty light so Yuan didn't seem to notice anymore. Next to Zelos walked Raine, who the Chosen kept eyeing every so often suspiciously, very cautious in case Raine down poured on them again in fury. Hahah, I made a funny pun! Behind them half walked, half limped Regal, who finally healed himself since no one else paid attention to him. Genis was walking behind his sister. Following up the rear was Mithos and Colette. Poor Mithos was really getting annoyed with the klutzy girl, grumbling as she chattered about stuff that he couldn't even understand, except her apologies, which made him flinch each time. It's a miracle that he didn't turn around and stab her in the eyes. I would. Mighty quickly too.

"Let's see," Genis said, instantly taking up the opportunity to be all smart-like. "Here is me, sis, Lloyd, Yuan, Kratos, moron, klutz, Mithos, and what's-his-face…oh right Regal. That's 9. There are 11. Two are missing. Presea and Sheena."

"You could have just answered Presea and Sheena, seeing that somehow, we figured the rest out," Yuan said, glaring back at the half-elven boy. Genis cowered and whimpered.

"They are defiantly hiding, that's obvious," Kratos said. "We should just leave them to their hiding spot. If we reveal it, it could make it easier for that murderer to find them."

"I don't like the thought of killing people." :D

"Stop being so damn happy."

"But happiness fills the world with…happiness!" :D

Kratos was damn close to snapping. If Yuan was paying any attention, Colette would have been smashed around with heavy mining equipment and left bleeding in the moonlight. Luckily for her, he was oblivious to what was happening behind him.

"One more word out of you," Kratos said, keeping his voice amazingly steady. "And I'll carve off your skin and make funny little hats!"

"Will that hurt?" :O

"Wanna try?"

"Okay." :D

Before Kratos could take a step closer to the klutz, footsteps were heard in the distance. Well, in the distance of the school. You get me, right?

"Who's that?" Lloyd asked, glancing down at Yuan.

"How should I know?" The Renegade leader snapped. "If I listen closely to the steps I can tell who's making them? Get real."

"We are real, Yuan-sama." :D

Kratos' eye twitched. "Okay I can't take it. Can I kill her now?"

"I'm not stopping you," Yuan said, continuing to walk without the slightest hesitation.

"Shouldn't we wait for those footsteps?" Lloyd said as Kratos dived towards Colette with a mallet, beating her into a state worse than Regal. Blood rained down everywhere yet the party ignored it, except for Genis as he began to get sick and tried to not throw up.

"No," Yuan answered bluntly. "Remember, we have an axe murderer after us."

"Why is he called an axe murderer?" Lloyd asked, blinking in puzzlement. "I never saw him carry an axe."

"It's either that or Tom," said Raine. "Would you rather call him Tom?"

"But…what about chainsaw murderer?"

"Too long," Mithos said.

"What about party-napper murderer?"

"That's even longer, idiot!"

"Does he even _need_ a name?" Yuan snarled. "Just shut up and let's keep walking."

They continued, with Colette's corpse being stuck on the mallet in Kratos' hands and dragged behind him leaving a trail of blood, making Genis even sicker. The footsteps got louder and louder, and faster in pace showing that the person was now running. As the steps got closer, the party started to feel anxious in their chests, and when they got even closer, the group broke into a panic bolt. However the steps still got closer! Who is following our heroes? Will they escape whatever is in store for them? Will Colette ever be revived? Find out…in the next chapter!

Hahah, I fooled you, you gullible suckers! Hahahahah- (dodges knives) AH! Um…back to the story!

The party turned to corner to see what they didn't want to see. It was Tom! Gasp!

"Crap!" Yuan yelled in surprise. "You're everywhere!"

"I know," Tom said in a creepy voice. "I've come…to kiiiiill you…"

"You'll never succeed, Mike!" Lloyd yelled in raising his fist at the murderer.

"TOM!" He snarled. "You weren't even close!"

"Why do you want to kill us?" Kratos said, narrowing his eyes at Tom. The murderer glanced Kratos' appearance, pausing on the bleeding girl stuck on the mallet in the angel's fist. Or least it looked like a girl. He couldn't really tell anymore.

"Because," he answered. "I can."

"That works." Kratos shrugged. "How'd you find us?"

"I followed the blood. You guys don't cover your tracks very well."

"Well we learned a lesson. Bye." Yuan turned and ran, Lloyd slipping a bit on his back, still not getting off. Kratos instantly turned and followed at his heels, with Colette dragging behind, grabbing the Chosen by the wrist and pulled him. Raine seized the recuperating Regal and the sick Genis by the back of their shirts and bolted after them with Mithos tailing right behind her. Tom just stood there, and got an idea with a sneer.

The party entered a large room that looked like it was the nurse's room. They slammed the door shut with a loud bam and scrambled to the other side of the room. Beds were lined up and a table with a chair was beside the door. It was a pretty big room and they easily fit in it. There was a fridge against the wall. Raine opened it, and inside was some scrapes of food and a couple small bottles of water, plus two icepacks in the freezer. The party lifted their arms up and all cheered at the sight of food and water.

"Food! We are saved!" Lloyd said.

"Great, now _get off!"_ Yuan grabbed the back of Lloyd's red outfit and flung him over his head, slamming his back on the floor. Raine sighed as Lloyd groaned in pain.

"Everyone get together," she ordered. When no one moved since they were suspicious, Raine pushed the all in a tight clump and mumbled a spell, shouting "Healing Circle!" In the area where they all stood, everyone was fully healed.

Kratos frowned. "Why couldn't you just use Revitalize?"

"Cause SOMEONE lost the Unicorn Horn."

"Raine," Genis said seriously. "That was you."

"Oh…right…don't judge me!" Her eyes flashed dangerously, abruptly ending the conversation. The party quickly separated across the room, investigating the area.

"Hey, Lloyd," Yuan said, staring at the beds.

"Yes Yuan?"

"There are only 6 beds."

"Yeah?"

"There are 11 of us."

"Yeah?"

Yuan glared at the boy with a "you're-a-moron" look. "I hate you."

As Lloyd looked at Yuan with a puzzled look Colette took the time to bother-…er…-keep Mithos company. Oddly, since the healing spell was pretty weak without the horn, she was revived and fully healed. Weird. So was Regal. Really weird. Oh and Kratty's mallet disappeared. When it did he made a small whimpering sound and his eyes held much sadness. Awwww, kawaii Kratty-chan, you'll get your mallet later! X3 (pet pet)

Anyway, back to important things. The party now gathered around their "leader", Raine.

"You all remember the rules, correct?" Raine said, glancing over the sitting party.

"No," Yuan answered bluntly. "We didn't memorize it like you did."

"Silence!" Raine snarled like Professor Snape (no own Potter). "No one asked you to speak!"

"But-"

"SILENCE! Now to business. We have limited food, so no snacks or anything. This means you, Lloyd." Lloyd looked down in disappointment. "Anyway, I'll rewrite the rules. Also it seems we don't have enough beds. We'll figure this out later. For now, this is our 'base'. We'll need to be able to barricade the door or something to make sure Tom doesn't get in. Also, we need a password. I'll build a special machine on the door that when you punch in the right numbers it opens. As for our password, it's 'Noishe'."

"Noishe?" Kratos repeated, raising his eyebrow slightly.

"Yes, Noishe! Got a problem with that?"

"No ma'am."

"Good. Now I'll get started on the machine thing."

"Don't you need stuff?" Zelos said. "Like weap-er-tools and parts?"

"No. Well yeah but I have everything here."

"How do you know?"

"I know everything! Now time for jobs. Four angels, go find Sheena and Presea and bring them back here. The rest, help me find tools and parts and help build this thing. Ready, go!" Jumping to their feet the party got to work. The four angels dashed out the door as the rest of the party scattered around the room.

Suzu: Phew. That was pretty long.

Jet: Mazing.

Suzu: Really?

Jet: No.

Suzu: You're mean.

Jet: Nah, I'm open-minded.

Kratos: May I ask something.  
Suzu: No but go ahead.

Kratos: Will there be a chapter where you leave us alone?

Suzu: Who?

Kratos: Guess.

Suzu: Ah, you four angels? To answer your question…no.

Kratos: Can I ask something else?

Suzu: Hai?

Kratos: Are you EVER gonna shrink someone?

Suzu: …I TRY DAMMIT!

Kratos: …

Suzu: This will have to do for the moment. Yami!

Ziggy: Eh?

Suzu: C'mon, Zigz, you are in my mind most of your time.

Ziggy: Oh right. (closes eyes and a huge flash erupts across the area. Suddenly…Genis disappears!)

Lloyd: Where's Genis? Genis!

Suzu: Right there.

Genis: (Is shrunken) AHHHHHHH!

Jet: …BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Party: Oo;

Ziggy: My deed is done. (falls back into a hammock)

Suzu: Get used to that, Genis.

Party: Oo;

Raine: (has a mini heart failure)

Suzu: Ja ne and R&R! Please leave any suggestions you wish for, and I'll try to put them in! Try to make sure it fits in the story, though. Kratty-chan would kill me if I stray, right Kratty-chan?

Kratos: (glowers)

Suzu: See? He's scary.

Kratos: I'm not scary. This is my normal face.

Suzu: That makes it scarier.

Zelos: Look I didn't get smacked this whole chapter!

Sheena: Oh right. (slap!)

Zelos: O …ouch…

Jet: Knock on wood, Chosen.

Zelos: …wha-

Kratos: Hold up, Chosen, you almost stepped on Genis.

Zelos: Oops. (snatches up Genis and puts him in a bird cage.) Deal with that.

Genis: TT


	8. Time to sleep yet?

Suzu: Hello! Back for chapter 8!

Jet: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………….

Suzu: (Screams in his ear) UPDATION!

Jet: I STOLE NO COOKIES! (tips out of hammock) Ah! SUZU!

Suzu: Yes, Nii-chan.

Jet: DON'T wake me up when I'm sleeping!

Suzu: Yes, Nii-chan.

Jet: Good girl.

Suzu: HEY!

Jet: Er-

Suzu: I SHALL-(notices readers) Oh, hello.

Jet: (Angry) They were there the whole time!

Suzu: Just noticed.

Jet: What? You even said HI to them!

Suzu: I actually said-

Jet: DON'T NICPICK!

Suzu: Jet, you're sounding like Raine…

Raine: Hello! Someone mention me?

Suzu: N-no, professor…

Raine: Okay…(walks away)

Suzu: Erm, on to the disclaimer! Um, someone new…Ze-

Zelos: I'm not new.

Suzu: Oh right, um…Kra-

Kratos: (Glares) Don't even think about it.

Suzu: Uh…YUAN!

Yuan: What.

Suzu: Disclaimer!

Yuan: No way!

Suzu: Dammit! Um…(everyone runs) Argh! Noishe!

Noishe: Whine.

Suzu: No, you can't have Kibbles and Bits! Disclaimer!

Noishe: Whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine. (Suzu, Jet, nor Ziggy own ToS, Namco, or anything else mentioned here with the little TM logo next to it though Suzu can't make her computer make that sign, so you'll have to guess which objects have them. And they don't even own Kibbles and Bits. How could they control Namco?)

Suzu: -- THANKS Noishe.

Noishe: Whine whine whine whine whine whine whine whine! (You're welcome!)

Suzu: Review Responses! Updation!

Jet: Enough with that word!

Streek-has-returned471--Updation has now activated. Thank you for reviewing. (salutes)

Luciado--Huh? Pointy hair? Nah, I didn't-OMG MY HAND IS BLEEDING! AHHHH, IT WON'T STOP IT WON'T STOP! (runs in a circle holding bleeding hand)

Rebeliion764-- ...I'm scared already...

Peaches–Hm...the four angels are always first in line for torture, but I can squeeze in Mithos! X3 He's already near his limit with Colette. WAH HAH, great idea! They do have limited beds!

Peaches again–Whoa, hell no! I hate those kinds of relationships! Kratos was only blushing because he was very embarrassed that Lloyd announced to Genis and everyone that he and Kratos kissed. And he's hot when embarrassed.

Emilin–OKAY! w 

dawn at dusk–Drinks all round!

Zelos: ON WITH THE FIC FOR THE EIGHTH TIME! WOOT!

Jet: --

Genis: (In the cage) Help me…

The four angels had finally slowed down to a walk after getting at a far enough radius from the evil Raine. Panting slightly the four…um…"friends"…went out in search of their two comrades. In truth, only Lloyd seemed determined once again to retrieve Sheena and Presea. Zelos only went without a second thought since the two girls were now his "damsels in distress". Kratos and Yuan only went because Raine told them too. In fact, they'd rather be sitting in the Nurse's room searching for nonexistent gadgets than out in the deathly open. To the two, it was like running out in a shark infested ocean, coated in fish guts, screaming and splashing so violently it would be a miracle if the sharks didn't notice you. And these two guys didn't care for miracles. They cared about chainsaws, and them being completely unarmed.

"I wonder where they could be," Lloyd speculated aloud, as if edging on an iffy conversation in the awkward silence. The other three glared at him so fiercely he just mumbled something and looked at his feet. After stepping in a little puddle, every so often he would glance back to see his wet footsteps on the floor. The others clamped their mouths shut in order not to comment. It was odd and annoying…but it kept Lloyd occupied!

For the rest of the time they walked in silence. They aren't being funny at the moment; so let's flash to Raine's little party.

The Professor is like a drill sergeant right now, it seems. She is busy standing up on a chair barking orders to the scurrying servants beneath her. Regal and Colette were told to find tools, winding up unsuccessful except for Tylenol, a can of salt, those sticks they push down your throat, and a stethoscope. Instantly Raine snatched up the scope and hung it around her neck, refusing to take it off. It just hung there randomly with no use. This made her feel even MORE important.

Meanwhile, Mithos and Genis are looking for parts, winding up even more unsuccessful than Regal and Colette. Unless you count toothpicks, pens, paper, a light bulb, and rubber bands as "parts"…they found absolutely nothing. So because both groups found nada, Raine was livid.

"Look HARDER!" She screeched, towering over them and glaring like a hawk. "We MUST build it! Work together! Go! GO!"

The group followed orders without question. In truth, they didn't know what they were looking for anymore. They didn't even know what they were building. Something about a lock. Anyway, they began to lose hope of keeping their noses and teeth in the right position when suddenly Colette jumped up.

"I think I found something." :D

"Really? Lemme see!" Raine jumped down from the chair and was at Colette's side in two steps. Clutched in her hands was a hammer. Why a hammer is in the Nurse's office, I really don't wanna know. Maybe to bang the poor kid over the head, screaming "GET BETTER!" Would get me motivated. Anyhoo…YAY! A TOOL! You still suck, Colette.

"MARVELOUS!" Raine hugged the hammer with glee. Everyone stared at her; except Colette with her stupid grin plastered on her face, looking aimlessly at the wall. "There ARE stuff in here! Everyone look NOW!" With the final bark everybody jumped up, with a little more hope now.

Let's head to Sheena and/or Presea. Where the heck are they? Um…THERE!

"Have any twos?"

"Gold…fish…"

"It's _Go_ Fish, Presea."

"Oh, I see."

"So? Any twos?"

"No, but I have an 8, 5, a king, and an ace."

Sheena sighed and stood up. "Forget it. Maybe we should search for the others. They would probably need our help. Besides, I haven't hit Zelos for a long time now." Does obsession ring here? Yes it does! And we're proud of it!

Opening the door to the closet they were hiding in, Sheena hesitated, and poked her head out the window, looking side to side. Cautiously she exited the closet like Solid Snake or something (whom I don't own), with Presea walking behind her with no caution whatsoever, like a little kid crossing the street.

"Coast is clear," Sheena said, straightening up and grinning. "Let's go."

After taking one step, she instantly froze. Standing in front of her was…Tom! Sheesh…

"AHHH!" Sheena screamed, having a mini heart attack.

"AHHH!" Tom screamed too, also having a mini heart attack.

Presea looked at both screaming people. "Wahoo," she said in her monotone voice, putting on her Klonoa hat.

As the screaming session was going on, it obviously reached the four angels' ears. I mean, who can miss that? Say Colette. Very good. Cookies for you.

"Lalalalalalala," sung Lloyd in a strange tune never heard of before. Suddenly the screams reached his ears. "On no! Someone is in distress! I must save them! AND KILL STUFF!"

"Lloyd…" Zelos said seriously, looking at the boy with a raised eyebrow. "We heard that screaming about 5 minutes ago. We've been heading in that direction ever since."

"…Really? Are you sure?"

Zelos frowned in an irritated look. "Why should I lie?"

"To mess with his head," Yuan said, sneering.

"Exactly!" Lloyd yelled, pointing at Yuan in victory.

Zelos sighed. "Where's the trust…"

"Are any of you coordinated or WHAT!" Kratos yelled in a snarl, glaring, as he looked back at the other three. They just realized that as they were talking they had come to a dead stop, in a circle bickering at each other. Kratos was at least five feet ahead of them. The other three turned and trotted up to Kratos, who had started walking again, to catch up.

Meanwhile…over to Sheena and Presea! Who are now just staring at each other and stopped their screaming. If they continued, they would all have sore throats. Sore throats suck.

"Um…" Sheena said, staring. Tom stared back. Presea stared at both of them. Stalemate! "This isn't really going anywhere…so Tom…how are you?"

Tom hadn't blinked for several minutes, just staring at Sheena. "My throat hurts," he croaked.

"Yeah…mine too…"

By their conversation you would think they were having a moment. Scary. So let's ruin it.

"WATCHA!" Yelled Lloyd as he rammed Tom from nowhere. Tom stumbled, his legs coming out from under him, and both tumbled and collapsed to the floor. Alarmed Tom repeatedly tried to escape from under the boy, yet Lloyd held on with no intention of letting go, punching the murderer with every chance he got like a rabid squirrel. From where ever Lloyd came from, the other three ran up.

"Hey guys," Sheena said casually.

"Hello Sheena, Presea," answered Kratos halfheartedly. "You okay?"

"Well…my throat kinda hurts…"

"GET THIS CRAZY RUNT OFF OF ME!"

"We found a base place, we could lead you to it…"

"RAWR!"

"AH NO BITING!"

"Okay, yeah, lead us there."

"Alright. LLOYD!"

Lloyd's head popped up from behind the now brutally mauled Tom. Around his mouth and all over his face was blood. Icky. "Yes, Daddy?"

"Come on, we're leaving. And whip your damn mouth!"

"Yes, Daddy."

Yuan and Zelos were staring with a shocked expression at Lloyd and Tom, mouths open, and sweat dropped. o.O; –—like that. Sheena was staring at the boy blankly, and Presea didn't even seem to be paying attention. That crack in the wall was much more interesting.

"Right. Let's go," Kratos ordered and spun around as Lloyd wiped his mouth from behind the angel, following. The others shuffled after them, leaving the poor axe murderer bleeding. Then randomly, once the six had left and far from earshot, Tom jumped up fully healed and sneered, running down the hall with his back to the camera. AHHH! Zombie! And we have cameras! I got over my budget. Or budgets. Yeah.

Back to Raine's group! WHOOSH! XD

"There," said Raine, hands on her hips and looking downward. She was smiling, yet her eyebrows were frowned, if that makes ANY sense. Her mouth was shaped like Pikachu. Meaning she looked devilish. X3

"Uh, Raine…" Genis started, but his sister cut him off.

"BE QUIET!"

"Wow, I can't believe we made it!" :D

Raine bent down and picked up a strange contraption, numbers on it like a telephone. Though poorly built, this was the code machine Raine was trying to build. If she wasn't so happy with the apparatus, she may of slapped Colette right there.

"Okay great," Mithos said. "But what's the code."

"First I need to punch it in!" Raine worked on the machine. "Okay, now the password is…"

"There's the door!" Shouted Zelos after several minutes, pointing.

"Thanks for pointing out that we're BLIND, Chosen," Yuan snarled.

As they reached the door, they found it was locked. Lloyd tried to pick the lock but it didn't work. However, they completely missed the big black machine with numbers on the middle of the door. It finally caught Kratos' eye and he pointed it out to the rest of the party.

"Well, punch in the numbers," Sheena said. Her confidence died when she saw the four angels' faces fall in panic and worry. "You're telling me…"

"Hey, Raine, open up!" Zelos yelled, kicking the door. Whom ever were inside completely ignored them. "Dammit! Regal! Genis! Mithos! Colette!"

"Yes, Zelos-san?" :D Came Colette's voice from inside. They couldn't see her face but instantly could imagine her plastered smile.

"Um…let us in?"

"Okay! Is that okay, Professor-sama?" :D

"What is wrong, Colette?"

"Zelos-san said he wants to come in!" :D

"NO! Don't! It could be Tom!"

"Oh no, Tom is our friend?" :O "Zelos-san, how could you!"

"Uh…no, Colette!" Zelos defended. "It's us! Kratos, Yuan, Lloyd, Sheena, Presea, and me are all here! Open the door!"

"Go away!" Raine screeched. "How do we know you aren't Tom trying to trick us?"

"Raine. There are six of us here."

"STOP TRYING TO DECEIVE US!"

"Raine!" Sheena yelled. "It's us!"

"Password?"

"Noishe!" Zelos answered in a snarl.

"I STILL DON'T BELIEVE YOU!"

"Than what's the point in having a PASSWORD!"

"Put in the numbers in the Coder!"

"The what?"

"THE CODER! THE BIG MACHINE IN FRONT OF YOU!"

"You never GAVE us the numbers!"

"SEE! YOU ARE TOM!"

"NO I'M NOT!"

"Raine," Kratos interrupted the little argument. "Why not ask us all questions?"

"…Alright! _Zelos!_"

The Chosen jumped. "Hai?"

"Why do you hate being the Chosen?"

"Hmmm…maybe because my whole life was _shattered_? Plus, I don't wanna DIE!"

"Hey, good, you did a lot of research Tom…"

"That's because I'm ZELOS!"

"Kratos! Question two!"

"I'm ready."

"What am I awful at doing?"

"Cooking," Kratos answered immediately.

"…Alright, correct!" Raine snarled, annoyed with Kratos' quick response. "Last question, Yuan!"

"What? Aw, why me…"

"Did you tell the rest of us yet that you're gay?" Raine grinned evilly.

"Ye-…n-…that's not a fair question."

"Answer wrong you're stuck out there TOM!" The professor cackled.

"That's not fair!"

"Someone is coming," Presea said. There were undoubtedly footsteps coming closer.

"Crap."

"Hurry up, Raine!" Zelos yelled. "The stalker is coming!"

"Not until Yuan answers the question."

"Dammit!" Yuan snarled. "Give me a different question!"

"Fine, fine. Alright, Blue, what food does Lloyd hate most?"

"Uhhhh…tomatoes?"

"…You got lucky."

"Open the door!"

A couple minutes past and the door clicked, indicating it was unlocked. Kratos roughly grasped the handle and twisted it, throwing the door open. The six rushed inside and Sheena slammed the door behind her, and leaned against it, sliding to the floor with a sigh.

"…You know," Kratos said, completely serious while the other 5 were panting. "Running from death isn't so enjoyable anymore."

"It adds...character..." Zelos panted.

"...Right..."

No one spoke. Then an hour past. Whee.

"...Um, wasn't Tom following us?" Genis asked.

"Affirmative," responded Presea.

"What she said," yawned Sheena.

"Maybe he found a butterfly!" :D

"..."

"That's it, C'MERE!" Kratos bounded towards Colette and a dust cloud surrounded them. Colette screamed. Oddly no blood squirted from the cloud. Oddly.

"..."

"Sooooo..." Zelos said, turning away from the non-bloody dust cloud.

"Thanks for not letting us in, Raine," snarled Yuan.

"Well, you should have put in the numbers."

"YOU NEVER GAVE US THE NUMBERS!"

"I did now."

"...that was now."

"Actually it was then."

"What?"

"Well, beings I told you in the past before this time, it-"

"Why are there only 6 beds?" Sheena suddenly asked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that..." Yuan muttered.

"Forgot!" Mithos snorted. "You were the one that pointed it out!"

"Oh Raine," Genis said. "Why were you beating up Regal?"

"Meep!" Regal cried and got into a fetal position.

Raine fumed. "Cause this IDIOT broke my irreplacable vase from the new world!"

"...Raine it's _unreplaceable_."

"DoN't CoNtRaDiCt Me!"

"What was it?" Lloyd whispered to Regal.

"...a child's clay vase-"

"IT WAS IRREPLACABLE!"

"What are we going to do about the beds?" Asked Kratos. Wait, wasn't he beating up Colette?

"Weren't you beating up Colette?" Mithos said. (Slaps face)

"No."

"...I could have sworn-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"I-"

"No."

"You-"

"No."

"Shut UP!" Sheena snarled.

"Back to the beds..." Zelos muttered.

"We should have two people stay up and keep watch," ordered Raine. "And that will be..."

A silence followed as they waited for her to finish. She just sat there, looking completely blank.

"...Raine?" Genis asked, unsurely.

"What?"

"You were...about to say something."

"Oh right. I pick...Zelos and Yuan! Yay!"

Both angels sweat dropped.

"Why us!" Both demanded.

"Well..." Raine sighed and began her long list of reasons. "You two are angels and can stay up all night without problem and you hate each other." Wow, that's a long list.

The two grumbled but didn't respond. Raine smiled with victory. Damn she's evil.

"What about me and Dad?" Lloyd asked.

"You two seem worn out," answered the professor. "You should rest."

"But-"

"DON'T ARGUE WITH YOUR PROFESSOR!"

"Hai, Professor-sama."

"Hey," Zelos said. "This has been a long ass night. Is it ever gonna end?"

"Frankly I don't give a crap anymore," Yuan said.

"GOODNIGHT!" Screamed Raine, and everyone scampered to a bed. This was the set up.

There are six beds, right? And 9 of them, after two out of eleven are staying up. Let's do math class, guys! That means, three of them are going to have to share beds. Yay! Cookies for everyone! And...a washing machine!

"Here is how it's gonna work," Sheena said, taking charge as Raine "talked" to the two angels. "Three of us are going to have to share. Not it."

"Not it!" Yelled everyone, but Raine who was yel-er-talking to the two angels, the two angels themselves who were cowering under Raine's downpour (heh, pun again!), Colette who was following a flea flying around, Kratos who seemed to be in an absent trance, and Lloyd who didn't have any idea what was going on.

"That settles it," Sheena said. "Raine, you get that bed, I get that bed, Presea gets that bed, and Colette gets that one. Kratos, you get that one, and lastly Mithos you get that one."

"What about me, Regal, and Genis?"

"You three have to share with one of them."

"WHAT!" Genis yelled, and nearly died of a heart attack. Then he was fine, but still mad.

"It's either that or the floor."

"Dammit," Lloyd muttered. "Okay, I'll be with-"

"No girls for you, Lloyd."

"Fine! Then-"

"I guess I'll sleep with Raine, seeing she's my sister," Genis said, scowling.

"I'll make an exception," Sheena said with a nod of "okay".

"Then I'll-"

"I'd prefer to be by myself," Mithos said, cutting off Lloyd. "Because...of reasons." His eyes shifted back and forth, yet no one paid attention to his suspicious acts. He sighed.

"Well, how bout-"

"Would it be okay if I sleep with Presea, seeing her bed is rather large," Regal interrupted. This statement made Genis have a look of murder, Sheena stare, Raine sweat drop, Zelos give an odd hoot, Presea look absolutely normal, and everyone of a 50 foot radius scream.

"I have no objections," Presea said.

"It's an icky thought so I'm going to ignore what you do," Sheena said, turning to Lloyd. "Well?"

"...I don't have anyone!"

"Too bad, floor for you."

"No! Not fair! The floor is cold and creepy and I can see under the beds that have monsters and they stare at me with red eyes and sharp teeth and-"

"Fine fine fine! You can sleep with Kratos."

Both stared.

"...NO WAY!"

Sheena blinked comically from the outbursts of both guys. "Um...yes way."

"But he's my dad! That's so wrong!"

"I never agreed to this. The others had a choice."

"Yeah! And he's still my dad!"

"Shut up!" Raine yelled, making both do just as she said. "It's either your dad or monsters, Lloyd! Choose!"

"...whimper."

"WELL?"

"Dad! I choose Dad! Don't let the monsters eat me!"

Zelos looked at Yuan. "Monsters?"

"Ignore him, he's an idiot."

So everyone got into their respected beds. Sheena couldn't get Lloyd to get in the bed until Genis finally bribed him with brownies. Lloyd ate the magically appeared brownies in bed as Kratos rolled on his side, glaring at the wall.

"Why couldn't Colette just sleep on the floor?" Genis asked.

"She may hurt herself," came his sister's response.

"Sis...this bed is so small..." Genis whined, fidgeting.

"Well then, I guess we should test a new potion of mine," Raine said, grinning evilly.

"No!" Genis shouted, causing the rest of the party to jump yet ignore him as he continued. "Last time you made me drink a potion of yours all bad things happened!"

"They weren't THAT bad..."

"I could only eat fruit bats and drink Pepsi for a week." (I don't own Pepsi. Or fruit bats.)

"It was one bad shot. Here just drink it!"

She jugged the potion down his throat. He coughed, sitting up, and continued his coughing fit. Now, everyone stared. Not trying to help him or anything. They just stared as Genis choked on the strange liquid that Raine pulled from nowhere.

And then, the strangest thing happened! Genis began...to shrink! Gaspify!

"OMG I SHRANK GENIS!" Raine screeched in horror. Genis blinked. He was the size of a parakeet, standing on the pillow, bewildered.

"He's the size of a cockatiel." :D

Sheena, whom was closest, smacked her. "The authoress said parakeet, dumbass!"

"Oh okay." :D (I don't even have to type who said this thanks to the smiley! Awesome!)

"Oh great, now what are we going to do with him," Kratos said cynically out of pure annoyance.

Zelos grinned devilishly, making Genis shiver. "Don't let Zelos eat me!"

"Ew, dude, why would I wanna eat YOU!"

"...Then what were you thinking of?"

"Of all the possibilities of making your life miserable at your current height."

"Zelly-san said big words!" :D

"...If I could reach you I would punch you."

"Should I get closer?" :O

"Do you mind?"

"Okay!" :D "Anything for you, Zelly-san!"

"Okay okay, enough!" Kratos snapped. "No moments between you two!"

"Something wrong?" Zelos said, sneering.

"Wrong? I'm in bed with my son. Does that count as _wrong_!"

The two angels death glared at each other.

"Guys," Genis said, drawing attention to himself. "Need I remind you what happened?"

"What?" Zelos said, confused. "You don't look any different."

"That was mean!"

"I dunno something does look different," Lloyd concurred, though not getting Zelos's sarcasm. "Did you get a haircut?"

"...You're an idiot, Lloyd."

"EVERYONE GO TO BED!" Raine yelled. "We'll deal with this in the morning."

"But-" Genis started.

"NO BUTS! BED NOW!"

And at that, everyone scrambled into their beds but Zelos and Yuan, whom sat on the ground and began to play poker. Lights out.

Day One starts tomorrow. Man, they are screwed.

Suzu: (panting) Man...so long...

Jet: Least you finally updated.

Presea: Improper word usage detected. Correction necessary.

Jet: Huh?

Presea: Proper word use is "updation".

Jet: ...Suzuuuuuu...

Suzu: (staring innocently at the ceiling)

Jet: (sighs) Who ELSE do you have saying non-English words?

Mithos: Dammit, this door is nonunlockable!

Zelos: Don't be stupid, it's very openedable.

Jet: ...

Suzu: ...(starts whistling)

Jet: STOP BEING SUSPICIOUS!

Lloyd: She's suspicalicious!

Jet: ...RAWR! (Attacks Lloyd)

Lloyd: Ah! No way! Ow! Ah! No way! Argh! Pretty good!

All: ...

Suzu: There you have it, people! New chapter eight! I hoped you enjoyed it...I made them share a bed and shrank Genis just as the reviewers asked! Kweh! (Chocobo sound)

Kratos: Shrank him after, like, 5 chapters.

Suzu: It took awhile, shut up!

Kratos: My point.

Zelos: Chocobos go "kweh"? I thought they warked?

Suzu: Kweh is cuter! X3

Colette: Birds are cute. :D

Suzu: ...

Zelos: Please review! Reviewness good! It's...reviewniful...

Jet: STOP MAKING UP WORDS!


	9. The perfect hiding spot

Suzu: Chapter nine chapter nine chapter nine chapter nine chap-

Jet: SHUT UP!

Suzu: Meep...UPDATION GUYS! I'm back again to spread the joy in the suffering of our favorite characters in the depth of despair and DOOOOOOOOM. MUWAHAHAHAH!

Jet: ...You're deranged.

Suzu: Undoubtably! And I spelled that right on my first try! Swanky!

Jet: ...Swanky means "rich-looking" or "inclined to show off". You used it in the totally wrong complex. Plus you make up words.

Suzu: And yet I have better English than almost everyone one in my grade.

Jet: The irony...

Suzu: Well, it's up, readers! Chapter nine! Hopefully the chapter that gets onto the first day!

Zelos: You mean we aren't even on the first day?

Suzu: Exactly!

Zelos: ...son of a-

Review Responses! ...rawr.

Streek-has-returned471– Zelos would have been instantly killed. So I decided to pick on Genis. I am cruel! Muwahah!

SnowCrystal– :D That would be scary if Tom smiled like that. I would go insane. Hahah, nah Tom doesn't have a bag over his head...he looks like a regular guy...go play Resident Evil 4! Right now! Run! Your life depends on it! I swear it will scare the CRAP out of you...

Luciado– Soft like a pillow! (Lays on Kratos's hair..somehow...) AH IT'S IN MY EYE! O Oh Martel...

Scorch the hedgehog– You haven't seen anything yet. X3

Lalalalala2– That's what happens when you do what they did! So...don't do what they did. XD

Genis: Why me!

Suzu: You're short. I had to pick on someone short.

Genis: That's mean!

Jet: Wahahah, feel the pain!

Suzu: ...Erm...anyway, yes, SnowCrystal go play Resident Evil 4!

Jet: You said that already.

Suzu: I repeat a lot. You know you love that game.

Jet: Yeah, even after it scared the crap out of me millions of times-

Suzu: See!

Jet: AND how I got REEEEAL close to shooting Ashley in the head form screaming "Leon!" even when I have no idea where she is...it's like she can see me through doors and walls...

Suzu: Erm right...

Jet: AND the chainsaw guys are impossible to kill, I had to snipe them billions of times until they began running after me and I blasted him with a very powered up shot gun before he died...

Suzu: Jet...

Jet: Oh, and there's one part in some stupid maze, that creepy guy said "little pets!" all creepy like, and as I walked along a huge infected dog jumped from no where, then there was three of them, it scared the crap out of me!

Suzu: Jet!

Jet: That painting part was freaky, you shot the painting in the right spots and the glass of wine explodes! Is that even possible? Oh and-

Suzu: JET!

Jet: What?

Suzu: ...and you call ME obsessed.

Jet: I have no obsession! Besides, you're also obsessed with Keel-

Suzu: NO A WORD!

Lloyd: Who's Keel?

Jet: A clumsy pathetic magic using scientist from Eternia-

Suzu: MY KEEL!

Keel: (Appears) What the-

Suzu: Keel-san! (Glomps)

Keel: O.O

Suzu: (Lets go) DISCLAIMER!

Mr DD: Yes Suzu-chan! They do not own Tales of Symphonia nor Tales of Eternia. They do own the school and Tom. Why? Because they are made up from their twisted imagination.

Suzu: Don't call me that!

Jet: We aren't twisted!

Tom: I'm not owned by anyone!

School: Ditto!

Mr DD: Erm...right...

Keel: Start the fic!

Zelos: Amateur. It's ON WITH THE FIC!

Keel: ...

Night loomed over the land and school. Everything was quiet. And creepy.

"Hahah, look at that, Royal Flush!"

"You stupid Chosen, we're playing Blackjack!"

"But you said poker before..."

"I CHANGED MID-GAME! Weren't you paying ANY attention!"

"...no."

"Well, then, this is what happens! Now we have to start ALL over!"

"It's your turn to shuffle anyway."

"W-what? I can't shuffle!"

"Too bad!" The red head chosen literally threw the deck at him. "Shuffle!"

"Argh...screw this I challenge you to a duel!"

"DEAL!"

So they started playing Duel Monsters, aka Monsters and Wizards. Which we don't own. But we do own decks. Whee.

Because almost everyone was asleep, let's skip to morning. Whoosh ahead five or something hours!

"Ugh..." Kratos slowly opened his brown eyes, his vision blurry. He blinked twice. Something big and brown was right in front of him. He snorted slightly as the brown stuff tickled his nose. Hair? Brown hair? Who has brown hair? He thought for a minute, his mind working slowly.

It hit him. He grunted slightly as he focused on his son snuggled uncomfortably close to him, breathing content and very relaxed against Kratos's chest. Kratos's face was completely drained as he stared with horror at Lloyd. Minutes pasted with absolute silence in the nurse's room.

"...Lloyd..." He hissed in a whisper.

"Mrph?" The boy mumbled in his sleep, not opening his eyes yet he was still awake.

"Lloyd!"

"Yeah?"

"Could you _please_ get away from me?"

Lloyd blinked, realizing the situation a little too late. "...AHHHHHHH!" He rolled and fell of the bed, landing with a loud clunk that woke everyone else up. Yeah, they didn't wake from his screaming. Sleep like logs. "AHHHHHHHHH! I'M A PERVERT LIKE ZELOS!"

"Don't call me pervert!" Zelos's snarl sounded from...somewhere.

"Lloyd calm-" Kratos started, getting rather embarrassed from the rest of the party staring at them. He blushes...again! Heart!

"AHHHHH I'M A SINNER A SINNER DAMN ME I SAY!"

"LLOYD!"

"Yes Daddy?" :D

"One, shut up. Two, get that Colette smile off your face. Three, SHUT UP!"

"What's going on?" Sheena grumbled, still half asleep and apparently missed the entire thing.

"You don't wanna know," Raine answered grimly.

"Please forgive me, Daddy!" Lloyd said, jumping back on the bed and hugging Kratos around the waist. Kratos blushed even brighter, his eyebrow twitched violently as did the corner of his mouth, looking deranged. Lloyd had those anime-ish streams of fake tears running down his face, his eyes scrunched shut. "PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!"

"...Fine whatever."

"YAY DADDY LOVES ME AGAIN!" :D

"Get that smile off your face!"

"I'm never gonna have kids," Regal muttered.

"Likewise," said Zelos as he walked towards them from one of the hidden rooms that Nurses have...what don't yours have hidden rooms? . What the hell...

"So now it's the first day?" Genis asked, jumping up and down on the pillow though hardly making a dent in it. Okay, who gave him sugar?

"I lost track," Lloyd answered as Kratos pushed him away.

"Lost track?" Raine repeated angrily. "We slept once, so this is the first day idiot!"

"I wonder if Tom found some place good to sleep?" :D

"Yeah, on a bed of nails or something," Zelos grumbled.

"Let's make breakfast!" Raine snarled. "I guess I'll-"

"NO!" Everyone screamed but Colette.

"Chicken!" :D Colette yelled late after everyone. The rest turned slowly to look oddly at her.

"I'll cook," Mithos volunteered.

"Wouldn't it be best if, like, Regal cooked?" Kratos said, frowning.

"I could actually be used for importance other than brutal torture?" Regal said, his eyes brightening.

"No," Mithos said.

Regal looked down sadly.

"What can I cook?" He opened the fridge door and stared at it. "Hm, fruit and ice packs. Nice."

"I wanna ice pack!" Lloyd shouted, waving his arm high in the air.

"Sure," Mithos replied absently, flinging an ice pack at Lloyd's head, hitting him dead on followed by a grunt of pain and a thud.

"I guess we don't have a choice but to eat some fruit," Sheena said, frowning.

"Well, the angels don't have to eat, including Mithos and Colette," Raine said. "Of course the rest of us do, but not a lot since we have limited supplies." She quickly recounted. "Me, Sheena, Genis, Presea, and Regal. Five."

"It's like we can't keep track of ourselves," Kratos grumbled.

"Where IS Yuan, by the way?" Mithos said, glaring up and Zelos whom shrugged.

"Beats me."

"...weren't you WITH him?"

"Yeah."

"...SO!"

Zelos suddenly sounds just like Max. "Yeah?"

"Argh, no wonder I wanted to kill you!"

"FOOD!" Everyone yelled.

"Yeah!" Zelos added.

Taking the hint Mithos grabbed some fruit, cut it into pieces with knives, and for some reason started to make a fire. Add "somehow" into that sentence too.

"Mithos, are you sure this is a-" Kratos started.

"Shut up, I'm a perfectionist."

"...That's not the right word."

"It is now!"

So he made tomato soup. Heh, not so bad. Don't ask how he made broth. He just did. My dad's a high level food scientist. :D

"TOMATOES!" Lloyd screamed and hid behind Sheena, shivering with fear.

"Lloyd that's my post!" Zelos said, laughing.

Sheena wasn't as pleased. "Stop touching me, or I'll stuff your head in that pot!"

"..." Lloyd let go and stood there silently.

_If anyone cares, we are already at six pages. Good Seyfert._

"Who cares!" Kratos snarled.

_That's why I said "if anyone cares", spike head!_

"Hahah, spike head I like that...I'm calling you that from now on..."

Kratos death glared Zelos.

"Or not..."

"Where is our hot tempered blue boy?" Presea said, looking around for blue b-...Yuan.

"Oh I remember!" Zelos said, grinning and temporality dropping his one word vocabulary of "yeah". "We were playing Duel Monsters, and I beat him four times in a row, and he got all mad and stormed off somewhere."

"...and that helps us figure out his current location...how?" Genis snarled at him.

"Yeah!"

"Rawr!" Genis jumped towards Zelos in rage to attack him like Ferret Lloyd would do. However, being tiny...tini_er_...Genis missed the Chosen by a long shot and fell to the floor with a splat sound. "Ugh..."

"Ya missed," Zelos stated.

Raine picked up her little brother and put him in her pocket. Heheh, "little" brother. I made a funny! Anyway, it was her shirt pocket. YES she has a shirt pocket. On her...outfit.

"Did Yuan leave the room?" Raine asked Zelos as Genis fumbled in the pocket to pop his head out of the opening...for air...

"Yeah."

"INSOLENCE!"

"Yeah!"

"That isn't good, that murderer is out there," Regal said. Everyone glared daggers at him. "You know...in case anyone...forgot...meep..."

"Who wants tomato soup!" Mithos announced cheerfully.

"ME!" Everyone answered.

"Tomatoes!" Lloyd screamed again adapting the fetal position.

"Chicken!" :D

Everyone looked oddly at her again.

"Chicken is a bird AND a food." :D

"Has anyone noticed that a tomato isn't a fruit?" Lloyd asked. OMG that was totally out of character! REWIND!

"Has anyone noticed that a tomato isn't a fruit?" Sheena asked as she looked at the her filled bowl.

"I just said that!" Lloyd said. Oops, I guess saying rewind doesn't actually make it rewind...

"Is it? I thought all fruits have seeds, and tomatoes have seeds," Zelos said, looking at a whole tomato before eating it like an apple. (Note; IS a tomato a fruit? Everyone tells me different. Oo)

"I said no eating from the angels!" Raine snarled.

"Meep, sorry sorry..."

"Ew, you already bit it, just finish it don't give it to me!"

"Yeah!"

_Eight pages!_

"SHUT UP!" Kratos yelled towards the ceiling.

_Shut up it's great!_ Both me and my brother cackle.

"...losers."

NOW! Let's see what Yuan is doing.

"What the...is this what they call a gym?"

_It says GYM on the door._

Yuan's eyes sparkled at the sight of the basketballs on the floor in a box. "YAY!"

Uh...back to the party...

"Now we have to go save him!"

"But Professor!"

"NO BUTS LLOYD. GET OUT!"

"Um...who is going?"

"...ANGELS! He's a part of your little cult so GO GET HIM!"

Kratos frowned. "Why us? It's not like we care."

"Well...I certainly don't want to, Colette would get lost, Sheena is the only one that knows how to play cards without cheating, Presea is just there, Regal is my slave, and Genis is the size of a parakeet. SO GO!"

"Yes ma'am!" The remaining angels ran out the door and slammed it behind them. Colette ran after the a bit too late, slamming into the door with a sickening crunch. "Ow!" :D

"..."

A sooooooooo...

"This sucks."

"Sure does."

"Like, really sucks."

"Yeah I know."

"It really really sucks."

"I get your point."

"Like really totally absolutely-"

"CHOSEN!"

"I'll be good, Mithos..."

Kratos paused, glancing around, forcing the rest of them behind him to stop as well. "Uh, does anyone have a map?"

"What, are you lost Dad?"

"No...I just want to confirm our current position."

"What?"

"We're lost," Zelos said in simpler context for Lloyd.

"Ooooooh...good job, Dad you got us lost!"

"We are NOT lost!"

"Yeah!"

"Shut up Zelos!"

"Yeah!"

"I hear bouncing," Mithos suddenly said, cupping his ears. "From over there."

The four glanced at each other before floating over there, since they were all too lazy to walk. They came to a large gym, inside was a blue haired half elf bouncing orange balls on the yellow floor and every so often flinging it with awful stance yet still getting it in the basket every time. Cheater.

"Hey Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuan!" Lloyd called. Yuan looked up.

"What do you want?"

The group walked towards him. "Scary Lady asked us to bring you back," Kratos explained.

"I'm assuming Raine?"

"No, Colette. Who do you think?"

"Don't be sarcastic with me, you...you...rock sniffer!"

The party stared at him. Even Kratos was confused, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" Zelos asked, blankly.

"Kratos sniffs rocks!" Yuan announced, randomly going along with his quick thought of nickname.

Kratos snorted. "I do not."

"You do too! And that's your new nickname. HAH!"

"What's with all my stupid nicknames?"

_Don't ask me spike head._

"Hahahah, spike head..."

"Shut up, Chosen!"

"Yuan what are you doing here?" Mithos asked, frowning and trying to ignore the weirdness happening.

"Um...stuff. Kratos sniffs rocks!"

"Shut UP! Where the hell did you get that!"

Yuan smirked. "You don't remember the nickname I gave you long time ago that I just recently remembered in this chap-...day?"

"...No..."

FLASHBACK!

A "younger" Yuan was busy poking a "younger" Kratos in the head. Kratos was peeved, sitting cross-legged and tipping slightly from the pokes. Yuan was grinning like an idiot the whole time.

"Kratos sniffs rocks! Kratos sniffs rocks!" Yuan said in a sing-song voice. Then Kratos turned around and punched him in the nose.

END FLASHBACK.

"Now you remember?"

"Well after you showed me a got the picture but...no."

"You're pathetic! And because you punched me I got you back by increasing your bill for your workouts at the gym."

"...is that why it was 54,685,847 gald? I thought that was a random number..."

The others stared. "You have that kind of money?" Mithos said, gapping.

"No I stole it from you."

"..."

"Guys...we should really..." Lloyd started, before freezing. "I hear talking..."

"I don't hear anything," Zelos said.

"It must be his angelic senses," Yuan stated, before pausing. "Wait...then shouldn't we hear it too? Lloyd must be hearing things."

"No! I hear talking and footsteps, and they are coming this way!"

"Pffft, go away and take your bullshit with you." Yuan waved his hand as if shooing him away.

Lloyd growled and pushed the other four angels towards the locker room and shut the door. They all leaned against it to listen. Silence.

"Lloyd you're so-"

"Shhhhhhh!"

Then, they heard it! Talking! Footsteps! Tom! Gasp!

"Ooooooh, I love a new day of sunshine! You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happyyyyyyyyyyyy when I am saaaaaaaaaaad! You'll never know deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeear how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine awaaaaaaaaaaYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"..."

"Someone's been lonely for too long," Yuan said with a frown.

"Martel, he was awful!" Mithos said, shaking his head trying to get rid of the ringing in his ears.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshi-Ow!" The chosen rubbed his head from the punch from Kratos.

"Don't push it."

"Is he leaving?" Lloyd asked. Everyone pressed closer to the door.

"Hmmm, I wonder where they could be? I thought I saw them come over here...I bet they are hiding in the boy's locker room! I mean they can't be in the girl's room, NO ONE is stupid enough to go in there!"

The five gasped and edged away from the door, closing their eyes tightly and covered their heads with their arms. They waited, hearing the footsteps, the opening of a door.

Then the closing of the door.

The five slowly opened their eyes.

The door in front of them remained undisturbed.

"He didn't enter," Mithos pointed out.

Kratos frowned and lowered his arms. "But I heard...what a minute..."

"What, rock sniffer?"

"Don't call me a rock sniffer!"

"Uh no," Mithos said, catching on and his eyes going wide.

"?" The other two looked puzzlingly at each other and Zelos made a strange squeaky sound of glee.

"Can't you see it?" Kratos asked, a forced smile spreading across his face as he began to sweat, narrowing his eyes. "We're...in the girl's locker room."

Long silence.

"Oops," Yuan said meekly. They looked behind them, and instantly fainted.

Suzu: End chapter, muwahahahah!

Jet: You're mean. And random. And...weird.

Zelos: Why the hell would I faint in the girl's locker room?

Suzu: Of...glee?

Yuan: Author-lady are you running out of ideas?

Suzu: No. Just trying out new ways to make your lives miserable.

Kratos: Why am I the one to get everyone lost.

Suzu: Uh, because...

Mithos: Why am I here?

Tom: Why am I singing?

School: Why are you in me?

Party: What the hell?

Suzu: Stop playing 20 questions already!

All: Yes ma'am.

Suzu: Jeez...alright guys, updation! Yay! Everyone is happy!

Zelos: My Dad sucks.

Lloyd: Mine too.

Kratos: Hey!

Jet: ...

Presea: This chapter was...13 pages long.

Jet: Uh, thanks for that...random...information...

Colette: Let us pray to Martel that we will all be safe and Tom shall see the light. :D

Yuan: My urge to slaughter you has risen.

Colette: Oh no:O

Suzu: ...ending now...um, review guys! Reviews are great! I like reviews. They make me happy. Like cookies. And pancakes. And-

Jet: Suzu!

Suzu: Okay okay, Nii-chan! Ehem...UPDATION HAS HAPPENED PLEASE REVIEW BY CLICKING THE REVIEW BUTTON WITH YOUR MOUSE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN. IT WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED. CLICK IT AND WE'LL LOVE YOU. NO NOT REALLY, BUT WE'LL BE HAPPY. SUGGESTIONS FOR TORTURE/GAMES/ANYTHING ELSE THAT YOU CAN THINK OF WOULD BE HELPFUL. I HOPED YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER. HAVE A NICE DAY.

Jet: ...Is there any reason why you suddenly speak like Tabatha?

Suzu: YES.

Jet: ...

Suzu: (waves) See ya next time everybody! Stay alert for the next chapter on Trapped in School!

Jet: I wonder how long THAT will take.

Suzu: (smack!) Insolence!

Jet: Ow!


	10. Last minute holiday?

Suzu: MUWAHAHAH CHAPTER 10 PEEPS!

Jet: ...was screaming it necessary?

Suzu: Yeah! And as a random fact...I can never spell "necessary" right on my first try. -.-

Jet: You also can't spell "not" in the last chapter, oh wonderfully good at English person.

Suzu: Shut up, Bozu!

Jet: Who you calling short!

Suzu: You!

Jet: ...RAWR! (Attacks her)

All: ...

Keel: Maybe we should stop them.

Max: Yeah!

(Neko-chan appears from no where and slaughters Max before redisappearing)

Max: (falls)

Zelos: Ahhh, he's dead!

Max: Yeah...(dies)

Suzu: So what, he always finds a way to come back anyway.

Jet: Yeah.

Max-haters: Not you too!

Jet: Eh?

Suzu: Hey, redisappearing isn't a word! XD

Jet: ...

Noishe: Whine!

Suzu: Right, review responses!

Scorch the Hedgehog–Daaaaaamn straight.

Lalalalala2–Thankies. :D Raine's EVIIIIIIIIIIIIIL! INSOLENCE!

Presea84–Yeah! XD NO KEEL'S MINE! But we can share.

Keele: O.o

Streek-has-returned471–Thanks.

Luciado–Take another bow! X3

singing: _  
Suzu is  
Silly  
And has a goat  
Not named Billy.  
Jet likes  
Blood and gore  
And can't stop playing  
Resident Evil Four.  
Luciado  
Likes to scrubKratos' hair  
Because it's dumb.  
Mikki  
Has a solution  
Make Mithos bake monkey bread  
and KILL ALL HUMANS!  
I ho0o0o0o0o0ope  
You'llusetheideasIhidinthissongIthoughtupreallyfast  
And remmber to not pick your bum  
Because it's unhealthy and crass...  
(bows)_

Thou art clever! And I think I got most of your hints. Which shall be used. Monkey Bread, YAY!

SnowCrystal–You must play it:D It's great. I love your Colette impression. It's hard to do, isn't it? I tried to really do it before. My mouth hurt for a while. Anyway, I asked a bunch of people; my teachers, my parents, my friends and I had a big debate over it, and I found out that it is really a fruit. :D Whoa.

Snow-silverx–Yeah, Kratos runs into walls a lot.

Jet: ...

Suzu: What's the matter, Nii-san?

Jet: I just realized how mean I am.

Suzu: ...yeah you do name your Chocobos in FF7 really...odd...names.

Jet: Oro isn't a weird name.

Suzu: Baco...Baka...Faco...Muso

Jet: You forgot the blue one.

Suzu: Yeah. It's name is...because you took forever to make one...OMFG.

Jet: You can't even believe how happy I was. Now all my Chocobos are GODS.

OMFG: Wark!

Suzu: I almost feel sorry for it.

Jet: Kick trees! (Runs off to kick trees laughing maniacally)

All: ...

Max: Yeah!

Kratos: WTF? You were just bleeding to death on the floor a minute ago.

Max: ...yeah?

Kratos: ...um, yeah.

Max: Yeah!

Zelos: Yeah?

Max: Yeah!

Zelos: Yeah!

Max: Yeah?

Zelos: Yeah.

Max: Yeah!

Suzu: SHUT UP BEFORE MY YAMI EATS YOU!

Ziggy: Dude I'm not a cannibal.

Suzu: ...oh.

Max: Yeah!

Keel: THUNDER BLADE!

Genis: THUNDER BLADE!

(The two very different thunder attacks strike Max)

Max: (BZZZZZT!) Yeah...(dies...again)

All: HALLELUJAH!

Max: (jumps up) Yeah!

All: ARRRRGH!

Mr DD: Disclaimer activation! This updation has been uploaded by Suzu-chan and Bozu. They do not own anything except themselves, Tom, and anything else that you don't recognize from games/movies/shows/etc. Word.

Jet: WHO'RE YOU CALLING SHORT!

Suzu: I can't believe we pay you to say the disclaimer.

Mr DD: You don't.

Suzu: Oh. Well then don't get any ideas.

Mr DD: Ma'am! (Salutes)

Suzu: Weirdo. Zelos?

Zelos: (sing-songy) OOOOON WITDA FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIC!

Our five favorite angels gasped and fainted flat onto their backs. They didn't move for hours. And hours. And then a half an hour. Then another half an hour, which is now an hour combined with the first half an hour. Then, Kratos woke up.

"Wah?" He looked around all perplexed-like, to see he wasn't the only one awake.

"Kyah! Kratty you awake? Finally! I have someone to enjoy this glorious enclosure with!"

"..." Kratos blinked. "Chosen One, are you feeling alright?"

Zelos Wilder grinned lopsided as he pointed at himself with his right thumb, slightly red on his cheeks. "I feel wonderful! Spectacular! Marvelous! And other big words that mean great!"

Kratos stared as the Chosen pranced around the room blissfully while he hummed Fosse's song Bye Bye Blackbird to himself. _Must be high on lights again_, Kratos concluded folding his arms and frowning at the thought. That must have been it. But, Zelos acted differently when that happened...could Tom have done something? He couldn't remember...

"Zelos, where ARE we?"

"You don't remember? This is the reason we all fainted for!" He spun around to face Kratos with a broad grin anime-style, still cheek-red, his hands on his hips. "This is the girl's locker room!"

"...why are the walls blue?"

Zelos looked around, as if just noticing it. Even though he's been prancing around like an idiot for at least a couple hours. "Hm? I dunno? Maybe girls like blue. Yes that's it! Girls DO like blue! Every girl's favorite color is blue!"

"...Since when?"

"Um...since they painted these walls! Yeah!"

"...I'm leaving. Bye."

As Kratos turned to leave, Zelos put on his cute chibi/puppy tear face at the angel's retreating back. Feeling the sudden pressure Kratos paused before he could take a step, grunting. "Kwatty-kun! Don't leave! I don't wanna be awone agaaaaaain!"

"...I really hate you."

"Are you staying?"

"No."

"YAY! KWATTY-KUN'S STAYING!"

"I said no!"

"What's all the ruckus!"

Yuan was awake. Gasp!

"Yunicorn! You're up! Yay two friends now!" Zelos said happily, raising his arms.

"Yuni-HELL NO!" Yuan suddenly looked fearful. "Who told you about that!" His eyes shifted side to side as Kratos stared with dinner plate different sized eyes, mouth wide open, as Zelos looked indifferent from his present expression of pure...stupidity.

"No one! Why...you have seeeeeeeeeeecrets, Yunicorn?" (Get the Unicorn joke? No? Man, that's almost as bad as the "I have it Healer" joke...)

"Sh-shut up!"

"I don't even want to know."

"You too, rock sniffer!"

"Don't call me that."

Yuan decided to change the subject. "Looks like Mithos and Lloyd are still out cold."

"They aren't adults, they can't handle stuff like in here," Kratos said thoughtfully, holding his chin. "Unlike us...though Zelos has the intelligence equivalent to a four year old."

"Yeah! ...wait hey!"

"Mithos is 4000 years old like us," Yuan said, frowning.

"He was also, like, barely a teenager before time stopped for him," Kratos said.

"True dat."

"Word."

A period of silence past after the really badly performed gangsta talk. Even Zelos said nothing.

"...This is going no where."

"Tally ho, Kratos."

"Shut up, Chosen."

"Ahhh, Kratos your stupid dog won't stop licking me!"

The three angels slowly turned to see Mithos flailing on the ground, having some type of bad dream. He twisted side to side. Surely it was a bad dream. Right? RIGHT?

"No! Noishe wait! Don't lick there, that's priv-eeeeeeeew yuck! Stupid mutt!"

"..." Kratos's face flashed of fear and disgust. "..."

Yuan glanced oddly at him, not saying a word. He raised an eyebrow. "..."

Zelos was grinning cat-like. "Meh heh, naughty thoughts. I AM A DARK ONE!"

Yuan winced. "Ew, now_ I_ have naughty thoughts."

Kratos, not able to take much more of this, walked forward and kicked Mithos in the side. Hard. Really hard. "Mithos wake up already!"

Mithos grunted and rolled to his side. "Murph popsicle..."

Now I want a popsicle.

"I wanna popsicle too!" Zelos whined.

Too bad, I don't have any.

"But...you're eating one right now!"

...this is a glass of orange juice.

"...Certainly?"

"MITHOS!" Kratos yelled. Mithos yipped and jumped up, white faced and sweating slightly. "Hi, have a nice dream?"

"What happened? Where are we? What's going on? Am I asking questions?"

Zelos grinned. Well..he was still grinning. "You had a Freddy Krueger dream!"

"...What? Whose he? ...Do I have amnesia?"

Kratos punched Mithos in the head. "No. Because that's a very overused disease in RPGS. Shut up already. You're freaking me out. And I'm already freaked out as it is."

Yuan looked down at Lloyd. "Looks like our cult idiot still hasn't waken up yet."

"Yuan, we aren't a cult."

"Shhhh, don't let Raine hear you say that!"

"...Raine's no where near here."

"Hey guys...we have to get out of here."

"Mithos has a point," Kratos said. "Let's leave."

"Do we haaaaave to?" Zelos whined. "I barely got time to explore!"

"...Chosen, you've been up for a couple hours now. What the hell have you been doing?"

"...I think I forget."

Kratos punched the Chosen in the head. "How bout now?"

"...No, now my head just hurts."

"Good."

As they were talking and such...

"They've been gone a long time." :D

"Yes Colette. It's been...three hours now."

"Three hours, 3 minutes, and 58 second(s)."

"Thanks Presea."

"Three hours, 4 minutes, 1 second(s)."

"Um, we get it Presea."

"Augh, this is so boring!" Sheena suddenly whined, pulling on her spiky bun...or ponytail...whatever it is. "This is only the first day too! Why us, we didn't do anything! Why must we suffer!"

_Don't ask me._

"...YOU! I forgot about YOU!"

_How could you forget about me? I'm writing this. I rule over you. I OWN YOU._

"Meep..."

That's what I thought. Back to the idiots. Uh, angels.

"NoooOOooOOooOo! I don't WANNA go! Don't make me!"

"Shut up, Wilder, and get moving!"

"Waaaah, Kwatty-kun, stop pushing!"

"I said shut up, and stop calling me that!"

"Kwaaaaaaatty-kuuuuuuuun!"

"...Where's my hammer."

Mithos sighed and pushed open the door. Kratos has been trying to push Zelos towards the door for a while now, yet with Zelos straining against him wasn't going anywhere. Yuan was just standing there with Lloyd draped on his back. Again. And wasn't liking it.

"Remind me again why I have to drag around this hefty moron?"

Mithos ignored him, walking out of the locker room and indicating for the rest to follow. Yuan did. Kratos made an odd roaring sound as he heaved, catching Zelos by slight surprise as he was shoved through the exit, tumbling a bit and slamming on the ground with a Noishe whine. Kratos grinned with victory, standing like Superman. How eerie.

"Zelos...why are you acting like this?" Mithos asked, frowning.

"Like what, Mithos?'

"Never mind...I'm sorry, I'm very distracted by those loudering footsteps approaching rapidly."

No one seemed bothered. "Loudering?" Yuan repeated awkwardly.

"Yes, loudering. Don't ask, it's a word I got from Suzu."

"Oh yeah I see," they all muttered, nodding as if it made sense now.

_Oddly the spell check wants the word to be laddering. What the hell? Laddering is a word but loudering isn't? Weird. They even sound the same._

"Anyway, yes there are footsteps coming closer."

"Footsteps you say?" Yuan asked.

"Yes, footsteps. How many times much I repeat myself?"

"It must be Tom," Kratos said. Gasp! "Quick, wake Lloyd up."

Yuan put Lloyd on the ground and began kicking him freely. "WAKE UP!"

"Yuan!" He hissed. "Not so loud!"

"Oh right..." Yuan kicked the boy much softer. "Wake up."

"Oh perfect, now he can't HEAR you."

"Hello hello."

The four jumped out of their skins...not literally cause that's nasty...and slowly turned around.

Tom.

The evil dude.

"Oh no..." Mithos whispered.

"Oh good! Now we can kill you without looking for you!" Yuan said.

"Hey! You should be just a LITTLE bit afraid of me!" Tom snarled.

"Why? It's Christmas."

"..." Tom blinked. "Hey, you're right! So last night was Christmas Eve!"

"Damn right."

"Sweet!" Tom did a funky little jig that poisons little children's minds.

"My mind is poisoned!" Mithos yelled, holding his head in pain.

Lloyd was still sleeping.

"Um...shouldn't we NOT be happy right now?" Kratos said.

"But it's Christmas!" Yuan yelled.

"Yuan! We don't celebrate Christmas! We're Martelians!"

"Martel...ians?"

"Don't question me!"

Tom raised a sword. "Now...even though it's a holiday...you're going to die."

TO BE CONTINUED!

Suzu: Yay for the Christmas special!

Jet: Yeah, the whole couple last lines.

Suzu: ...uh...sorry about the cliff hanger. It's fun to do though. HAHAH! I laugh at you people!

Jet: Don't laugh at our readers!

Suzu: Oh right sorry. I laugh WITH you people!

Jet: Not helping with anything.

Suzu: Argh! Happy with the updation? Well now, I must be a leaving. See ya everyone...and Merry Christmas!


	11. Futile retreat from Tom

Suzu: Updation rocks!

Jet: That word is SO worn out.

Suzu: I could care less. Sorry for the **LONG** wait!

Jet: Shows just how lazy you are...

Suzu: Perfect fit, isn't it. Time for review updations! Sweee!

Quickie: Kweeeeee!

Suzu: I said 'sweee' stupid!

Quickie: ...kwee kweee...

Luciado–EAT DA MONKEY! ...BREAD! . 

SnowCrystal–Blue's my favorite color too! I'm an awesome guesser. No not really, I'm lying. Oops. Anyway...oranges are scary weapons! AHHH!

Lalalalala2–Thankies!

Jet: Woot. A whole three.

Suzu: It's a pleaser, Nii-san.

Max: Yeah!

Jet: Oh son of a-

Farah: KILL ANNOYING PEOPLE! (Kills Max...with her feet)

All: Yaaay!

Reid: Good job, Farah!

Farah: (winks) Tee hee.

Jet: ...

Suzu: Hey, Keele, I found anime pictures of you!

Keele: A girl's talking to me! (Hides face in a book)

Suzu: ...

Meredy: Meredy's happy to be in a fiction she doesn't belong in!

Jet: You don't belong anywhere until you speak actual English...Japanese...both.

Meredy: You bet!

Jet: (kills little animals)

All: O.o

Mr DD: (walks in drunk) Heeeeeeeyrrrrrrrr!

All: O.o

Zelos: What up m'man?

Mr DD: Nuttin much, dawg.

All: O.o

Suzu: Do the disclaimer already!

Mr DD: (completely sober) Okay! These dorks here don't own ToS or ToE or Animal House or anything mentioned here at all. Namco doesn't own these dorks either. So it's even.

Jet: Can't you just call us by our NAMES?

Mr DD: Of course not, are you crazy?

Jet: (growls) Getting there...

Zelos: Can I do it now?

Suzu: Sure why not.

Zelos: ON WITH FIC HIIIIYOOOOOO!

"I think he's serious this time." Hey isn't that a quote from Animal House?

"No really, Yuan. What ever gave you that idea?"

"Can we have a toga party?"

"NO CHOSEN. You really think we can afford that?"

"...I can ask women to give me money...with my amazingly crappy compliments..."

"Apparently they have low self-esteem."

Kratos was an angry fellow at the moment. Why do you ask? Weren't you paying attention to the last chapter? If you feel lost, click the back button on the top of your screen and read over Chapter 10 again. If you're alright, you get a cookie and can continue reading. If you need help, go read some self-though-really-not-self-help books. I love George Carlin for those who got that joke.

Anyway, back to Kratos not being happy. Yuan was his evil self, Mithos was trying to look mean but was just too cute and chibi-ish, and Zelos was...being Zelos. Lloyd was still sleeping. And there was Todd standing in front of them with-

"It's TOM!" Tod-...Tom snarled angrily. "Come on, you MADE MY NAME!"

Oh right. I own you. Anyway before I was RUDELY (glares daggers at Tommy)...interrupted, I was saying 'with a huge sword like weapon in which"-

"Sword like weapon?" Mithos asked, blinking. "It's not sword-LIKE. It's just a sword. Period."

Okay, one more interruption and you'll all be smitten by my ability to cause mass destruction. May I continue?

"Yes ma'am," they all recited like obedient puppy dogs.

That's what I thought. (Ahem) With a huge sword in which he held threateningly close to their necks. A sneer spread across the murderer's twisted face, evil glinting in his cold dark eyes with a craving for blood and death. A dark feeling held over our heros, overwhelming them with the intense pressure that their death was staring them in the eyes, that the end of the gate was near, and they had no way to avoid their shadowy doom that awaited them...

"Um...Authoress-sama?" Mithos asked all innocently.

What?

"...I believe you're getting a tad too much into it."

Oh right. Sorry bout that. Shall we carry on? Excellent.

"Hah! You don't scare me!" Yuan said, his usual cocky self.

"Right what are you gonna do?" Tom said, frowning. "Hate to point it out, but your blue hair isn't all that intimidating."

"FEAR MY HAIR DAMMIT!"

"It actually makes you more girly," Kratos said, being able to keep his hot straight face.

"Hey! YOU wear lavender!"

Kratos looked away in shame. "It's purple..." He muttered meekly.

"I wear pink!" Zelos shouted for no particular reason.

This is where Zelos gets kicked down the stairs. Lucky for him and a disappointment for the others, there weren't any stairs around. DAMN!

So they did the next best thing. THEY SET HIM ON FIRE! WAHAHAHAH! No not really. That would have been cool though.

So they did the NEXT best thing. They completely ignored him. You know, until later. Maybe when he's sleeping or something they'll...spray paint his body or something totally destructive that'll curse his life forever and ever and ever...and ever. Yeah and ever.

Anyway. OMG my big brother has control now of their lives! Gasp! Sucks for them to be in his mutated ideas of DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.

Editors note- Jet: It's my personal job to make all of your lives private hell.

Yugi: What about us?

Jet: SHUT UP YOU'LL GET YOURS! Right now I have bigger idiots to fry. Namely a chosen who will get thrown off a cliff.

Three angels, an idiot, and a baka that's sleeping. Lots to work with here.

A boy genius going through puberty, a controlling bitch, a manipulating bitch, a girl who acts like robot, and chore boy. Oh I forgot, love freak. Another one who will be thrown screaming angel feathers from a helicopter. On fire. Cause I say so. Stay alive after that, wench!

Who to choooooose first? Let's torture the latter first. The moron crew are too busy trying to keep themselves from becoming fresh burger meat. Like they could find their own asses if they weren't attached. (Zelos: Where's my ass!)

Everyone sitting around, minding their own business. The room was so quiet that you could hear Sheena's fart echo, at which they all just stared at her until she walked over and punted the table into a wall, almost taking out Genis's head, because it is so damn big. So everyone went back to their own business. Genis was trying to cover up the large wet spot just made recently in his pants (the boy just had a brush with death and shook his hand. His pride has died.), Colette was wondering if now would be a good time to cast sacrifice, like it actually does something (BUT SHE DOES IT ALL THE FREAKING TIME), Presea was staring out the window in a daze, Raine was trying to come up with more rules that will help make her supreme dictator of the world a.k.a the biggest bitch ever, Sheena was on the verge of going nuts and killing everyone with ninja jutsu, and Regal was curled up in the corner like a stray puppy with bruises and cuts all over him from Raine's brutal "obedience training". Suddenly, Sheena got fed up with being stuck in a abandoned building with a group of morons and jerks.

"We need to get out of here," said Sheena. Everyone else gave her the No shit look and went back to their pathetic lives. Of course, ignoring her will only make her angrier and more psychotic. Then she started to check the walls, looking at each one throughly.

This confused the hell out of everyone else and it suddenly got everyone's attention, because they all knew full well that Sheena was not above blowing up the entire building and killing everyone if it meant getting what she wanted. Eventually, Genis asked, "Uh, Sheena, what exactly are you planning?"

Sheena turned around slowly and a evilllll grin flashed across her face. "I am making a plan, so stop asking stupid questions and help," she told him. Genis had no idea what her plan was or what he was supposed to be doing, but he didn't question it, as he is only 12 and has no interest of getting murdered by one of his "friends" (Oh, silly Genis. No one likes you.). He turned to Regal and asked, "Hey, can't you use your hands to blow through the bars or something?"

Regal stared at him and then barked.

Genis was startled, watching Regal intently. Regal paced on all fours for a minute and then curled up into a ball. Genis suddenly realized that his sister was much more demented than he had first realized. In fact, he might be the only sane one left, and the only one who could help him without going hostile was Presea. This filled him with a little hope, but not much.

He walked over to her and asked, "Presea, do you have any ideas on how we can escape this place?" She kept staring blankly out the window into nothingness, apparently thinking a parallel world was going to collide with the present world, destroying everything. But that's just silly, it could never happen, right?

Raine stood up and demanded, "Everyone, we have to stay here and serve out our sentence. We broke this land's rules, and the punishment was delivered by a court of law. We have to go along with it. This isn't so bad anyway. So everyone shut up and sit down."

Sheena put her hands on her hips and yelled, "Yea, well this place sucks, and there was nothing in the sentence about being locked up with a crazed lunatic who wants to kill us for no reason. I am getting out of here if I have to destroy the building to do it or sacrifice any of you." Genis really didn't like the way she was looking at him.

"But you can't harm us. We're friends!" said Colette with a :D (WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! IT LOOKS LIKE IT EATS BABIES!). Apparently, she doesn't like being left out of a conversation.

Without turning around, Raine backhanded her in the face.

Colette whimpered, saying "I'm sorry, I must of done something wrong." Raine then turned around and said, "You're damn right you did. The adults are talking here about your future. Or your lack of it."

Sheena then used this opening to attack Raine, therefore starting the biggest catfight ever recorded on Symphonia.

Genis knew he was doomed.

Meanwhile, we go to the other idiots.

Everyone is running really fast. Like running away from the cops or another crappy chick flick fast.

Zelos looked behind him and said "I think we lost him!"

So the rest of the group looked back to see if Zelos was right for once in his life. That's a big mistake when your fate is in my hands.

Then they all ran into a wall simultaneously.

So now there are two angels swearing on the ground, Zelos is bleeding so much his face is the same color as his hair, Yuan is just laying there, and Lloyd is still fast asleep.

"If I run into one more wall, someone is going to die," said Kratos. He got up and kicked Lloyd in the head. Nothing. Then he poked him with his sword. Still Nothing. Then he cast Judgement, and set Zelos on fire.

Yuan said, "You missed Lloyd," while watching Zelos run around, on fire, yelling and rolling around on the ground. Kratos turned to Yuan and shrugged, saying "Oh well, no harm done," just as Zelos ran a desk, setting that on fire.

Then the sprinkling system activated, and within moments the entire room was drenched.

So now we have a bunch of tired, beaten up angels/idiots who all have concussions. And guess what. Lloyd was woken up by the sprinkling system.

Lloyd opened his eyes in a dizzy way, sitting up and looked around him. He found himself sitting in the middle of a circle of four very peeved angels, drenched from the top strand of their weird hair to the soles of their shoes. And they were pissed.

"Hi guys," he responded, not completely catching what was going on, a big grin spread across his doofus expression. "Is it raining?"

No one said anything. Kratos simply reached out and fwapped the poor boy across the back of his head. Heh, fwapped, that word rocks. Even though it isn't a word.

(Jet: Okay that's it, I'm tired.

Suzu: Tired! I had to do the other 10 chapters!

Jet: Yeah? Do the eleventh. Chao.)

Keh. Anyway...

"So I guess the murderer guy isn't following us anymore," Mithos said as he glanced back. The four of them were still sitting in the circle as the sprinkler system turned off, still leaving them all dripping wet. But, they were clean. That's a plus, right?

"No I guess not," came the rather cynical sounding answer of Yuan, standing up and tried to brush the water drops off of him vainly. He reached back, twisting his long ponytails like wet clothing, squeezing the water from the blue strands.

Oh how wrong they were.

"RAWR SAYZ ME!11" Shocked beyond silence the band spun around, standing behind them was the murderer guy, breathing heavily from running and a twisted sneer on his face, clutching in his hand was an orange. Yes, you heard me, an ORANGE.

"Awww, man, why now of all times!" Yuan yelled, before his eyes were caught on the weapon the guy was carrying. "Um, and why are you carrying an orange?"

"I shall...uh..." Tom thought for a minute before raising the orange dramatically. "I shall burn your eyes out with the acid! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"..."

"You may have heard this before, but you're an idiot," Kratos said bluntly, staring at the madman in a disgusted way. All of their disgusted expression rose as Tom sniffed and began crying insanely on the ground, banging his right fist against the floor like some spoiled child who didn't get the candy he wanted. In other words, my brother. (Gets thwaked) Ouch!

"...you broke down over a stupid insult like that?" Mithos asked Tom, raising an eyebrow.

"Even I'm not that weak!" Lloyd said, hands on his hips and he began to chuckle like a demented...cat. Zelos frowned at the idiotic boy.

"Lloyd you aren't helping yourself."

"It's just...just...I'm cursed." Tom sniffed again.

They stared. "Cursed?" Mithos repeated awkwardly.

"Yes, you see, if I don't kill at least five people, the curse will swallow me up forever. Ironically, they never gave me an actual time limit."

"...they," Kratos said in comment, obvious that he wanted to know who 'they' was.

Tom didn't catch it. "Yeah, they."

The auburn haired swordsman raised his right fist. "Who's THEY."

"Oh right. I, uh...hell I dunno. Just go with me here."

"What's the curse?" Zelos asked in curiosity. "Is it like, an air void in your hand that will soon devour you and passes along your children and stuff?"

"...no. That's stupid."

Miroku appeared out of no where with a BAM. "Let's see YOU live with it!" He roared, stomping on the poor man's back for a whole minute before randomly disappearing again.

Total silence.

"So anyway, what's this curse?" Zelos repeated as if he totally missed what just happened.

Lloyd bent down next to the murderer, whom was laying flat on his face, and poked his cheek. "He's not moving. I think he's unconscious."

"Or dead." Yuan's tone seemed a little too gleeful.

"No, he's breathing."

"I can fix that."

"Hold on," Kratos cut in, causing Yuan to stop in his tracks. "He says he's cursed right? That must explain why he's trying to murder us."

"So he just goes out and murders five random people? Real humane," Mithos muttered.

"Well you did try to wipe the entire world from existence to "save" your dead sister."

"...point taken."

"I wonder what the curse is?" Zelos, well, wondered.

"Let's just take him back to the others."

"TAKE him back? You mean hostage?"

Kratos pulled out some rope that seemed to just appear out of thin air, holding it firmly with two hands, grinning a grin they didn't like. "Of course."

Suzu: Tah! Dah! Tah! Dah!

Jet: What are you doing?

Suzu: Saying 'tah' and 'dah' over and over. :D

Jet: O...kay...

Tom: I'm gonna be tortured, aren't I?

Suzu: Naaaaah. I save that for Regal.

Regal: Woof!

Jet: (raises eyebrow) I think Raine went a BIT too far.

Suzu: Do you care?

Jet: I never said that.

Lloyd: Question. What's with the Inuyasha random popup?

Suzu: I love Houshi-sama, that's why.

Jet: Or the torture the poor guy goes through, right?

Suzu: Osuwari.

Jet: (FWAM!) WTF!

Suzu: Osuwari!

Jet: (FWAM!) WTF AGAIN!

Suzu: (evil grin) Didn't you notice that rosary around your neck I borrowed from Kaeda-bachan?

Jet: Yeah...

Suzu: So whenever I say 'osuwari', the tug of the necklace pulls you forward flat on your face.

Jet: (FWAM!)

Suzu: Like that.

Jet: (snarls) Inu-otaku...

Suzu: (eyes glint)

Jet: (meeps) I said nothing!

Zelos: (slaps face) Gwad...Review please...


	12. Secret of the Curse!

Suzu: Chapter 12? Already?

Jet: Whaddya mean 'already'?

Suzu: Well...it feels like it went by so fast!

Jet: You mean this is the last chapter?

Suzu: Are you kidding! Hell no!

Jet: (mumbles) Dammit.

Suzu: Hey! I've got a new slave to do the disclaimer! Therefore, DD, you're fired.

Mr DD: You can't do that!

Suzu: And why not?

Mr DD: Because I was never employed in the first place!

Suzu: ...good point. Therefore, you're simply kicked out. Get lost.

Mr DD: No way!

Suzu: Leave!

Mr DD: No way!

Suzu: Go away!

Mr DD: No way!

Suzu: Arrrgh!

Mr DD: No way!

Suzu: Fine! Stay there and be useless! (Ahem) Miroku-sama, the disclaimer?

Miroku: Wait, what?

Suzu: Do the disclaimer.

Miroku: ...I'm not getting paid am I?

Suzu: Of course you...are.

Mr DD: I was never paid!

Suzu: Because I never gave you the job.

Mr DD: ...damn.

Jet: Are we all done yet?

Suzu: First, Review Responses. BEEP! ...oh wait. (Pushes button) THERE we go.

Luciado: ... :D

Quiet-man-writing–Arigato, and sorry if the Colette bashing annoys you...but I really hate her THAT MUCH that I can't stop being mean to her. It's taken me five times of beating the game and she still loves me. How can I hate her smile? I hate looking at her, so how could I not?

Lallyzippo–Lovey Dovey Lollipop! XD

Suzu: Kay, NOW we can do the disclaimer.

Miroku: That's my job, right?

Suzu: YES.

Miroku: Well then, Suzu-chan will you bear my child?

Suzu: ...Sango-chan?

Sango: (FWAM! Goes the Hiraikotsu against Miroku's head)

Miroku: (is unconscious)

Jet: Well, crap. She killed him.

Suzu: (poke poke) No, he's just unconscious. Therefore, Sango-chan?

Sango: (grins proudly) Suzu and Jet do not own ToS, or even Inuyasha or any other things that appear randomly here. Except themselves, Tom, and even the school, unless there really is a school like this somewhere in this odd world, they don't own it.

Jet: ...least she used our names.

Zelos: ON WITH FICCY! YAAAAAY!

"..."

"Well?" Kratos said, frowning in an irked way. He stood while everyone else was kneeling around Tom's limp body, looking down at them with his arms folded. The angels had all made it back to the others in the Nurse's Office, and to their relief, by the boarded window they could see light fading. YES! Onto the first night! Sing happily! It's the first night, right? I'm already losing time...

"Well what?" Raine asked dumbly, staring blankly at the Seraphim.

"About...him!" Kratos pointed to Tom's body. Which now, was tied up and still unconscious from the random beatings of Miroku's foot. Strangely, the angels didn't question the random appearance of the monk, nor did the others question about how Tom ended up like this. Frankly, they felt like they didn't want to know.

"Let's burn him!" Genis shouted, jumping up and down on Raine's shoulder like a sugar happy chickadee. Yes, we had forgotten that he was no larger than a parakeet last chapter. It's all Nii-san's fault, blame him.

Jet: HEY!

Zelos shrugged. "I'm okay with that," he said bored, before moving his hand to fondle Sheena. He never made it, but did receive red hand mark on his cheek anyway just for trying.

"According to what he told you, he's cursed?" Raine asked, even though the angels just recited Tom's story 10 minutes ago. And, they've been staring blankly at his body ever since.

"YES," Kratos responded in a hissed snarl through clenched teeth, annoyed Raine's short attention span.

"Cursed with what?" Sheena asked as Zelos whined over the red hand print burning his cheek.

"He never told us. Frankly, I don't think he knows himself."

"So..." Raine decided to be a smarty pants, like usual. Or be like on some anime shows where they figure out everything that's happening in an episode thanks to one small thing. "You mean perhaps this 'they' never really cursed Tom!"

"But then why would he say he's cursed?" Lloyd didn't get it. Frankly, he wasn't alone, everybody blankly stared at the Professor.

Raine smacked him for his stupidity, and everyone else were just happy it wasn't them. "Baka! 'They' could have tricked Tom into thinking he has some nonexistent curse!"

"But...why would they do that?" Lloyd still didn't get it, nor learned his lesson last time, receiving another painful bump on his head.

"It's a wonder how you survived 17 years! Why do you think 'they' put us in this random school instead of a real jail?" Every time she said 'they', she put a lot of emphasis on it, indicating that it was an important clue that frankly no one else either noticed or gave two craps about.

"Because it sucks more than jail does?" Yuan tried, getting a 'ding ding ding!' for his clever answer. And a new car, which he wouldn't have known how to drive, so it was taken away from him.

"Perhaps. And, where they put us is this random guy claiming to be 'cursed'. He doesn't have an Exsphere, so he CAN'T be REALLY cursed." The party all nodded in agreement. Actually, they felt this wasn't true, but it was better just to agree with her.

"So you're saying someone tricked Tom into thinking he's cursed in order to kill us." Sheena frowned. "But then why would he be commanded to kill only 5 people instead of 11?"

"Stop with the stupid questions and just agree with my freaking thought!" Raine snarled, however unlike most other people this only made Sheena pissed off too, snarling like dogs at each other and flashing their sharp talon-like fingernails. They also pulled off an Inuyasha by slightly twitching their fingers and cracking them with ease. They'll have some bad arthritis...

"I wonder who's trying to kill us NOW?" Genis muttered, and instantly the party, even Yuan and Kratos, all glared at Mithos. The blonde angel whistled innocently and kicked a little pebble that happened to be there, inside a school. I dunno if that comma was completely necessary (I still didn't spell it right...) but you know...we both are comma happy. :3 I give my English Teachers seizures.

"It doesn't matter! We'll just hack em down!" Lloyd proposed with a broad grin on his face.

"That would be fun, if we had something to hack them down with," his father stated, watching as Lloyd fell face first in an anime fall, his right foot twitching twice.

Everyone strained to think of an answer to this. Not to the anime fall, to Kratos's statement.

"What about Tom's weapons?" Presea asked in her monotone creepiness. The party all shivered a bit before pondering this.

"Yeah, he always has random weapons of mass destruction! Let's get his stuff!" Zelos said blissfully. I almost forgot he existed. Oops.

"But where is his stuff?" Genis asked, hopping up and down again on Raine's shoulder as if he had a sudden random sugar rush. ADHD, ADHD, ADHD! Apologies to whom may have ADHD. Anyway, I don't own ADHD...that would be weird and I would be God.

"You AREN'T God?" :O Colette sounded impressed. Or shocked. I didn't really care.

Uh...no.

"So you are Martel?" :D

No...

"But we have the Goddess in all our hearts!" :D "Yay!"

STABSTABDEATH

"OMG!" Lloyd screamed. "Colette just died from an invisible force!"

Everyone looked at the bloody heap that used to be the blonde klutz. (Apologizes to Colette lovers...I know there are a few of you out there...but I sincerely, absolutely loathe her. :3)

"That invisible force has a pretty damn sharp knife." Yuan's face looked quite evil at the sight of blood, making a distorted grin. Lloyd turned from his de-...injured friend and suddenly was more concerned about Yuan.

"OMG!" He screamed again. "Yuan looks distorted!"

Lloyd was then zapified! XD

"So now what?" Kratos asked. Kratos wasn't a very good father, letting his son get brutally electrocuted...but whatever.

"We should find Tom's base," Regal said, sitting up from his sleeping place in the corner somewhere.

"I know! Let's find Tom's stash and steal his crap!" Zelos exclaimed loudly as Regal looked down in shame that he was ignored.

And so starts the awesome adventure of complete stupidness! Yaaaay!

But first, a meanwhile, cause we haven't had one of those in a while now.

So...meanwhile...

"I suppose that idiot Tom has failed again, eh?"

"Yes. He even gave away that there are more than just one of us."

"What? How dare he...wait a minute, how do you know that he did that?"

"Camera surveillance."

"Nice. Those are awesome, people NEVER shoot them out or anything."

"Shut up, you fools! Tom has failed us...therefore, we might need to take matters into our own hands..."

"..."

"No, stupid, I don't want black coffee! You know I don't even like any type of coffee!"

"..."

"Don't apologize either, I can't stand it. Why, yes, Sake is fine."

"Kyeh heh heh heh heh! Soon, darlings, those five angels will be ours...and we shall finally reign again!"

"MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" They all laughed evilly.

At the same time...

"Hey, did you just hear a really evil laugh?" Mithos asked, looking around as they wandered the halls...in a non-lost way. Or at least trying not to look lost. "It even sounded more evil than MINE!"

"Then you're defiantly hearing things," Kratos said, watching in annoyance as Zelos walked in front of the group with his right hand on the right wall.

"You know, I'm starting to doubt this whole 'right hand on wall' legend..." Sheena snorted as she glared fiercely. "Beings the right wall has been going around in a complete circle."

"Square, more like it!" The Chosen called back with a bright smile. Sheena, being third in the pack behind the skipping Colette whom was still bleeding from her beating earlier, ran up and slapped the red head clean in the back of the head. Sango has competition. Of course Sheena came no where near her, yet Colette tripped anyway.

"I found something." :D

"The tripping works again," Raine said, frowning with annoyance that Colette was actually right. She had tripped over a little hinge, indicating that there was a trap door there.

"At least she smashes her face into the ground every time." Kratos smirked as he remembered the countless times that Colette bashed her face into the ground as Lloyd felt around for some sort of handle.

"I do find it funny that we must have passed this place four times and have just found this here," Sheena said, watching Lloyd struggle with no intention of helping him.

"Dammit! I dunno how to open it! It's like that damn hatch in Lost!" If I owned Lost, it would suck. But I don't, which makes it the most awesome show ever! Everyone catch the third season this October! Whoo!

"So let's blow it up!" Yuan was proud of his idea, except that it contained violence...which was overly expected of the blue haired angel.

Raine shook her head. "Don't be stupid, we don't have anything to blow it up. And look at us. How many of us would survive carrying bombs?"

"We could use the Sorcerer's Ring," Presea suggested.

"Like we have that anymo-HOLY CRAP! We still have that thing!" She raised her finger, staring at the ring. "I completely forgot about it! And why do I have it?"

"Good question, it always appears on everybody's finger at random times...I always wondered about that..." Lloyd muttered.

"It teleports." :D "I teleport too!" Yuan would have conserved his mana like a smart person, but he felt compelled to be violent, thus electrified her brutually.

"I hope this works." Raine pointed the ring at the trap door and...did...whatever was needed to activate the Sorcerer's Ring. A little fire ball smacked against the door, but that was really it.

"Oh, jeez, I could've done that!" Genis said as he jumped around again, only this time on Lloyd's shoulder.

"Lemme fix it!" Yuan grabbed the ring and began gnarling it with his teeth, smashing it on the ground and stomping on it, electrocuting it, and all other violent stuff you can see him doing. The rest all just stared as Yuan performed his acts of aggression. He finally handed it back to Raine. "There. It should work now."

Raine activated it, and a huge fireball blasted from it and engulfed the wooden trap door in a bonfire. Everyone scrambled back instantly except Colette, whom stood there with her big smile even as she proceeded to be brutally burned.

"Fire's hot!" :D

The magic users all used water spells to put the fire out. The trap door wasn't a door anymore, it was just a big burned hole in the ground. Lloyd was shaking with excitement.

"Let's go!" He shouted as he jumped in.

"Oh yeah, let's jump in the hole in the ground, great idea," Sheena muttered sarcastically but didn't have much of a choice...everyone had already left her behind. "Kuso, that was quick."

Meanwhile...those people talking before haven't even gone anywhere...

"Hey! Those kids have found the trap door! I KNEW we should have hidden it better!"

"It's not MY fault Ryuuk wanted a trap door in the floor."

"Silence! I am enjoying my freaking Sake so none of you make any more unneeded noises!"

"..."

"Kotsu is right, we should leave before they find us."

"Kyeh heh heh! Screw that, I wanna destroy them limb from limb!"

"You mean rip them limb from limb, Ashura?"

"Whatever! MUST KILL THEM! KILLLLL! KIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLL!"

"..."

"Good idea! Let's face them off one by one and eliminate them!"

"But why not just kill them all together?"

"Cause I'm freaking competitive, okay?"

And so...now I remember why I hate meanwhiles...

"It smells like fish down here." Zelos put his hand over his nose.

"That may be because there IS fish down here," Genis said, now riding on Zelos shoulder.

"Don't you be sm-hey, wait a minute, aren't you bigger than before?"

Everyone who cared about Genis's growing turned to see. He did grow, he was about the size of Shippo now.

"YAY I'M GROWING! I'm a BIG kid now!"

"Genis never say that again," Lloyd ordered, staring with his left eye twitching.

"Kyeheheheh! I'm surprised you have made it this far, kiddies!"

The party all instantly covered their ears. "Holy Goddess Martel! That voice...is goddamn AWFUL!" Mithos cried out, grinding his teeth.

"Hell yeah! I wanna rip my ears out!" Zelos agreed, lurching over while holding onto his head, his eyes snapped shut.

A tall ugly looking woman with a witch's nose and long green hair frowned at the party's suffering. "What the heck? I didn't even do anything yet. Oh well, kyeh heheh, SUFFER!"

"Oh God, someone make her shut up!" Lloyd clawed at his ears. "My head's gonna explode!"

"It makes me want to murder little bunnies and chickens!" Yuan snarled, straining to open one eye.

"Yuan..." Even Presea, though standing perfectly fine, seemed ready to fall on the ground and bash her head open. "You always feel the need to murder little bunnies and chickens."

"...oh...well, I want to murder MORE little bunnies and chickens!"

"Witch Lady-san can't sing!" :D

The woman glared. "I ain't no witch lady!" Everyone screamed as she continued, louder. "My name is Ashura!"

"Yeah, Acorna, whatever, just stop talking!" Raine pleaded in agony. Hey this is kinda fun.

"Not Acorna, Ashura!"

"ARRRRRRRRGHHH!" Everyone groaned and moaned and...whimpered.

"Woof!" Regal barked.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Regal: Whoo! I got the last line!

Jet: Battles? YAY! I like violence! Battles fun! MUST BATTLE STUFF!

Suzu: ...you're weird...

Jet: BATTLE! (Stabs rock)

Suzu: Muwahah! It's been forever, but I completed the 12th chapter! Everyone rejoice and dance and pour drinks and smash barrels, whoooooo!

Jet: It's about time you finished another chapter.

Suzu: I was...busy. I gotta new puppy:3 He's a black Shih-tzu. Kawaii! His name is Sammy.

Jet: I'm surprised a lazy ass person like you can take care of Stupid...

Suzu: Osuwari!

Jet: (FWAM) ARRRGH! You're an ass.

Suzu: Osuwari.

Jet: (makes crater) ARRRGH! (Twitch twitch)

Suzu: Humor violence is fun! (Scares random passerby) Rawr!

Tom: (sniffsniff) Where did I go? I disappeared! Oh well, I'll appear...next chapter! Be happy all you Tom fans! (cricket cricket) ...um...don't sound too enthused...

Suzu: Review, please. :D


	13. One down, two down, three

Colette: I'm BACK:D

Jet: Wait a minute, you aren't Suzu. What did you do with Suzu!

Colette: I'm Colette:D I have blonde hair.

Jet: ARGH! Suzu! Why did you leave me with her!

Ziggy: Suzu went on vacation.

Jet: Without ME? Where did she go?

Ziggy: Uh...she said something about a store and food.

Jet: You suck at taking messages.

Ziggy: Okay, okay, I wrote it down, it says she went to the Super Market.

Jet: Baka! That's not vacation, that's errands!

Ziggy: Uh...whatever.

Colette: I'm taking over Suzu-sama's job:D

Jet: I'd die before you become my sister!

Colette: Oh no! Don't die, Nii-sama:O

Jet: Okay.

Colette: Really:D

Jet: I'll just kill YOU INSTEAD!

(Review responses)

Luciado–He tried, but got stuck in his throat thus had to be surgically removed. Icky. Apparently it was too big for him to swallow. XD And no. Tom isn't sexy at all. He's like...um...Average Joe. Yeah. I can't think of any average Joes from anime...how pathetic...and I actually saw a commercial for Yogos the other day. I WAS wondering what they were...

Lallyzippo–Thankies!

(Fin)

Zelos: Wow, shrimp, I didn't think you had that much violence in ya.

Jet: I'd love to show you another demonstration, Chosen, for calling me small!

Zelos: Not my face! (Stabbified) Ugh...not my gut either...

Kratos: Without Suzu around, Jet's insensitivity is...uncontrollable.

Yuan: We could just beat him into submission.

Suzu: Osuwari!

Jet: (FWAM!)

Yuan: That works too.

Lloyd: Oh noes! Suzu lives!

Suzu: I've literally been here the whole time.

Lloyd: Where? We didn't see you.

Suzu: SOMEBODY locked me in the closet.

Ziggy: 9.9 (whistles)

Suzu: Miroku-sama, disclaimer please!

Miroku: X.X

Suzu: Oh...he's still unconscious from last chapter.

Sango: (lifts Hiraikotsu) I could hit him again...

Jet: That would kill him further, stupid!

Suzu: Well, Sango can just do it again. Please?

Sango: Mumble. Suzu and Jet do not own ToS or Inuyasha or anything not belonging to them that newly appears in this chapter or have appeared in earlier chapters. It's been thirteen times we've said this, so if it hasn't burned into your brain yet, you're gonna fail school pathetically.

Jet: Interesting fun fact...

Zelos: FICTON READY, STEADY, HOLD CHUR HORSES, GO! XD

"GAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

"Kyeheheheheheheheh!"

"Woof!"

And so the heros worthlessly wither and plead against the ugly sow's screeching voice. The party were all on their backs/stomachs, hands clamped over their ears, their brains about to explode! Whatever shall they do?! Oh NOES!

"I have an idea, guys!" Lloyd shouted proudly. "Earmuffs!"

Soon everyone had put on the magically appeared earmuffs, defending themselves against the mind-splitting witch's tone. Yuan pointed triumphantly at Ashura. "HAH! We beat you, we beat you, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!"

"Damn you little rats! But no matter. I can deal with you in OTHER horrific ways! Kyeh heh heh heh!"

The party all blankly watched as she began to power up some sort of bow in her hand. Frankly, it was taking a long ass time, so finally Kratos turned to look at everyone. "Say, what the hell are we standing around waiting for? Let's just blow her up as she is powering the weapon and get on with it."

They all agreed and proceeded to do so by blowing her up with the 'Sorcerer's ring on drugs'.

"AHHHHH OMG OMG OMG I'M ON FIRE I'M MELTING MEEEELLLTTTIIIINNNG!" Ashura paused. "Oh wait, that's just water. HAHAH!" She put out the flames by rolling around in the dirt and stood up with a wide grin on her ugly face. "FOOLS! I have smited your stupid plan!"

"Smited? What kind of word is that? Don't you mean 'smitten'?" Genis asked before being suddenly thrown into the lake that surrounded the walkway without even being touched. Even though he was on Lloyd's shoulder, the swordsman wasn't effected at all. Like he didn't even realize that his buddy was just blasted into oblivion but...he's oblivious. To the obvious. Heh, I found another word similar to oblivious and obvious! XD

"Don't contradict me!" Ashura snarled.

"Sounds like someone we know..." Kratos muttered, as everyone glanced at Raine. She obviously got extremely pissed.

"Don't compare me to that wench!"

"Ohh! Ohh! I know! It's Professor Raine! She sounds like Professor Raine!" :D

Colette was then slapped. Okay, Colette was just brutally stabbed and mauled. Happy?

"Ouchies. My cheeky hurts." :(

"Kyeh kyeh kyeh kyeh!" Ashura finished the bow, and strung a twisted looking blue arrow. She pulled it back. "Now if you can't get close enough to defeat me, you're finished!"

"Wait a minute, how can we still hear her with the earmuffs on?" Zelos pondered. Kratos was overly annoyed that he was forced to wear fluffy pink ones. I seriously think he was tempted to slaughter everyone on sight in a total rampage of death and destruction.

"Special earmuffs," Presea said. She was still totally blank. "Allow us to hear everything around us, yet nullifies screeching loud mouthed brain splitting noises."

Yuan was shocked. "Good Goddess! We could make a fortune from these! And they have Ebay in this world!"

An arrow suddenly impaled Yuan in the chest.

"OMG! I've just been shot!" The half elf was extremely peeved about this. He tore out the arrow and flung it back at Ashura, badly aimed it shot into her right arm.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" She stumbled backwards and tripped into the water, and this time actually began to melt! "HELP! I'M MELTING! MEEEELLLTTTING!"

"Well, that was easy. It took a whole two pages," Kratos muttered. Lloyd looked pissed for some reason.

"Damn! I wanted a try!"

"Okay okay, fine. You get the next one."

"Next one? How do you know there's a next one?" Zelos asked, wondering if Kratos was an all knowing saint or something. He WAS a 4000 year old angel, so that works.

"Because Tom TOLD US."

"...Oh."

And that was the end of that conversation. They continued on their journey through the secret passage as the path widened into a full empty white room except for a big green door on the opposite side of the room. Beings there was no where else to go, the party's slim common sense was enough to lead them to the only exit.

"Not so fast, vermin!"

"Magnius?" Lloyd called in shock. Instantly everyone whom had previously known Magnius before he was horribly slaughtered shivered in disgust. But I'm not that cruel. It wasn't Magnius. It was a huge at least 7 feet tall bald dude with a huge curved whitish sword that was around 5 feet long, maybe a bit more, looking as if it were made of bones.

"Bone sword!" :D Colette was happy for some reason. She doesn't NEED a reason. Everyone ignored her anyway, so it wasn't that big of a deal.

"I am Hirai," the large man snarled in a deep voice that had cocky little showoff written all over it. Everyone just stared, taking the man Hirai back a little bit. "What are you staring at, vermin?"

"I get it!" Zelos exclaimed excitedly. "Your name is Hirai, and your weapon is made of kotsu, so it's a rip off of 'Hiraikotsu'! Hah! I've got you all figured out."

"Sh-shut up!" He defended. "That's just how it worked out! I wasn't carrying around a bone weapon when I was just born, now was I?"

"Colette was holding her Cruxis Crystal when SHE was born," Lloyd countered. Colette perked up with her classic never changing smile.

"I heard my name in the conversation!" :D

"Only talk when spoken to!" Raine scolded as she slapped her across the head. It wasn't a hard slap, but Colette instantly slammed face first into the ground and rendered unconscious.

"Whatever!" Hirai snarled in a Bankotsu surfer dude accent as he raised the huge sword into the air. "I'll gonna smash your heads all open!"

Kratos was seriously annoyed. He picked up Genis, wound up, and flung the teeny Shippo sized boy directly at Hirai, whom began to scream and such identically to that of Tom when he was mauled by Ferret Lloyd a few chapters back.

"ARRRGH IT'S EATING ME GERROFF OR PERISH VERMIN!"

"I'M NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING!"

Yuan then stuck out his foot and tripped Hirai, slamming him flat on his face. Genis jumped and landed on the ground before kicking Kratos's shin. The auburn haired man completely ignored the shin kicks.

"Waaaah..." Hirai sniffed as he lifted his bruised head off the ground. "You tripped me."

"Stole your sword!" Lloyd snatched the bone weapon and swung it around happily before the weight of it made him tumble backwards. "Whoa!"

"Fools! I shall never die...as long as my atoms are all in place!" Hirai snarled as he rose and about to...do some kind of powerful attack.

"BAKURYUUHAA!" Lloyd shouted as a huge tornado filled with yellow lights ripped Hirai apart to be never seen from again. Lloyd stood with a smug grin on his face as everyone else started with a "WTF!" expression.

"Did you just do the Backlash Wave?" Sheena asked slowly. Lloyd nodded like, fifteen times.

"Uhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuh-"

"Okay, shut up."

"Well thanks to Lloyd...godmodding...we can proceed now." Mithos was thrilled that Lloyd never had that attack when they fought him. He wasn't sure where he learned such an attack but decided he shouldn't worry...plot holes couldn't be explained.

So they proceeded. Yayness.

"Uuuuh, do you get this feeling like we're being watched?" Genis whispered into Zelos's ear.

"No. WHY are you riding on my shoulder again?"

"Cause he loves you, why else?"

Zelos threw a random fork at Mithos, even though it was Yuan's comment. Mithos screamed, running around as blood sprayed from his head.

Raine looked stunned. "Wow. I never thought a fork would cause that much damage. Nevertheless, to the FINAL BOSS."

Reminding to you all that even though Mithos was not the hardest boss, he was still a pain in the ass, especially on Mania Mode. Damn continuous judgements of doomage.

Anyway, back to Mithos running around with his head bleeding. Five minutes had past, and the party all continued to stare at him until he finally passed out from blood loss. Crap, that was quick. Lloyd poked Mithos's body with the huge sword he had previously received from the last battle as the party all looked troubled on what to do with his body.

"Let's burn him!" Yuan seemed overly cheerful of the thought.

"Isn't he, like, your good friend?" Asked Sheena, perplexed.

"No."

"Not even a hesitation..."

"All idiots, shut up now!" Raine ordered sharply as they did just that. "Hey, Zelos, carry him for us." At the comment that Raine stole from Sheena in the video game, Zelos went into his complaint mode.

"Me? You want me to car-" Zelos lifted Mithos up and blinked. "Oh, never mind. He's like, 56 pounds."

"..."

"Did you guys hear something!" Lloyd yelled, startled as he spun around in a battle mode type...way. Everyone else plainly stared at him.

"...no," was his father's blunt answer.

"Oh." Lloyd lowered the sword, disappointed. "Phooey."

"..."

"Okay! I totally hear something!"

"I didn't hear anything," Zelos said, starting to worry about the teen's sanity.

"Dammit! This is confusing!"

"..."

"GRAAAGH! DEATH AND CHAOS!" Lloyd suddenly swiped the sword in a random direction. Being totally lucky, courtesy of all those special garbs I stuck on him to boost his luck (why does everyone in my party have NEGATIVE luck?), he apparently hit something as it went flying across the room. Someone, or something, appeared, revealing a lizard looking man. He...it...flickered its tongue though didn't make any noise.

"OMAGAD! LIZARD ATTACK!" XD Colette did a funky jig like some sort of sacrifice dance for the lizard creature. However, it spit some acid at her, causing her skin to melt.

"Lizard-sama didn't like my dance," :(

Everyone stared as the acid ate away at her very existence. They paused to see if they should care, but decided otherwise, turning back to the lizard.

"You damn reptile! You'll pay for injuring our friend!" Lloyd snarled heroically, lifting the huge bone sword.

"Lloyd..." Kratos clapped his hand on Lloyd's shoulder and whispered. "We decided not to care, remember?"

"...oh, right. Never mind then, but you will still pay for...looking funny!"

"Lloyd..." Yuan repeated what Kratos did only on the other shoulder, whispering in his ear. "Seven days..."

"EEEEEEK!" Lloyd screamed like a little girl and fainted. Kratos glared at Yuan.

"Good job, idiot, you just made our god fighter faint."

"Well, snapper crackers, I didn't think he'd be THAT weak!" Yuan snarled back.

"Shut up, guys! Don't you remember about Lizard butt coming to eat us!" Sheena pointed to the lizard being, whom was indeed eating Colette. Miraculously, everyone remembered. I spelled miraculously on my first try! O.o

"I shall be victorious, as I am the great Zelos, and my day of greatness has arrived like beautiful women at my doorstep!" The Chosen announced proudly as he stepped forward, stealing Lloyd's bone sword and lifted it dramatically into the sky. Er...to the ceiling. Whatever. As everyone else stared speechless at Zelos's announcement, he adapted into his funky jitterbug battle pose. "C'mon, gimme watcha got, who's your daddy, huh?"

The lizard spit a fireball at him. Zelos stood there blankly, even though he was on fire.

"Well, crap, I didn't think it could DO that..." He lowered the sword and shouted loudly again. "I revise my decision! You guys take it from here!" He ran away and hid behind the unconscious Lloyd, even though he didn't lift him from the ground for usage as a better shield. Course, this contact made Lloyd catch on fire too. Afraid of the sprinklers going off again, Yuan soaked the fire out with water magic.

Raine looked at the half elf oddly. "You can use magic other than electricity?"

"Of course I can! Electricity is just better for torture and interrogation."

Awkward silence followed this as everyone slowly edged away from Yuan.

"..." The lizard...said?

"We die? No, YOU DA MAN!" Regal exclaimed. Apparently he's found a dictionary and learned so new words...phrases...moving on! Everyone glared at Regal as he whimpered and hid in a corner somewhere.

"I guess it wants to fight!" Sheena said, getting into a fighting pose. Kratos stared at her with a 'no, really?' expression. You know these kinds of expressions that you stare in the mirror and try to actually perform? Those who raised their hands, we need lives.

The lizard growled loudly and jumped towards the staring Kratos, brandishing its wrist blades towards the mercenary's chest.

Sadly for you people, you get not only a crappy ending, but a CLIFFY! OH NOES!

Kratos: Course, I'm the one attacked.

Suzu: What can I say? You WERE staring at Sheena.

Jet: What were you staring at anyway?

Kratos: ...

Jet: (evil grin) Oh.

Kratos: Insolence! Such rumors shall not be tolerated!

Suzu: You sound official.

Kratos: I am official.

Miroku: I LIVE! (Pauses) Oh, but woe, I shall not live long, for the Kazaana that swirls in my ha-

All: NO ONE CARES.

Miroku: The un-love in this room is exigent.

Suzu: Big word, ten points!

Miroku: Hurra-(heavy points fall on his head) AH!

Suzu: ...Niisan...

Jet: Innocent! Innocence, I demand innocence for my actions!

Suzu: No.

Jet: Death shall rain upon you so I shall swear it be so!

Suzu: Stop talking like that.

Jet: Speak not to me! The fiery depths of my fury shalt see to your demise!

Suzu: Osuwa-

Jet: Gentle sister, I plead you not so!

Suzu: -ri.

Jet: (FWAM) DAMN YOU!

Suzu: Nice to have you back.

Inuyasha: HAH! Feel the pain!

Train: DOGGY!

Inuyasha: Wha?

Train: Meow!

Inuyasha: Woof!

Train: Meow!

Inuyasha: Woof!

Train: Meow!

Inuyasha: Woof!

Train: Meow!

Inuyasha: Woof!

Train: Meow!

Inuyasha: Woof!

Train: Meow!

Inuyasha: Woof!

Train: Meow!

Inuyasha: Woof!

Train: Meow!

Inuyasha: Woof!

Sven: SHUT UP!

Kagome: SIT BOY!

Inuyasha: (HEAD SMASH) Pain...

Train: ...:3 Meow.

Sven: NO DINNER!

Train: NOOOOooooOOoOOooOooooOOo!

Jet: INSANITY ENSUES!

Suzu: ...please review...


End file.
